At work or at rest, it’s leg day. Photo: Tom Boonen

The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a cyclist. It’s likely they are a part of the Crossfit cult or on a fitness regimen to tone up and look good in a swimsuit. My immediate thought is, no shit it’s leg day, isn’t every day leg day?

As Cyclists, we cultivate our legs ritualistically. They provide the power that propels us deep into the pain cave, to freedom and to exaltation. Sure, we can talk about building the engine that is our heart and lungs. We do intervals, hill repeats, and sprints to increase aerobic capacity but the act of pushing on our pedals is what makes us move. It is our guns and our guns only that provide the visual evidence of our deposits into the V-Bank. The following is a simple list of acts the Velominati partake in that demonstrate that Every Day is Leg Day:

  • Shaving ( Rule #33 )
  • Crisp and clean tan line cultivation ( Rule #7 )
  • Not taking the stairs when the elevator goes to the 2nd floor
  • Recovery Days
  • Getting a Happy DeVlaeminck
  • Not lifting weights, grocery bags, or small children if it can be avoided
  • Gun-oriented narcissism
  • Riding bikes at the exclusion of any other form of exercise except sex (in which case you’ve gone Post-race Kelly and it’s a recovery day and therefore, Leg Day)

The Pros go to great lengths in not using their legs to power anything but their bicycles. Coppi used to have his soigneur carry him up flights of stairs to the hotel room. Hincapie would make sure his phone, remote, and other personal needs were at arms’ length on Recovery Days so he wouldn’t have to get off the couch. I wonder if he looked for apartments in Gerona with the toilet in the living room.

Of course most of us are endomorphs who look to be prepubescent boys with bald legs, baby smooth faces, and farmer’s tans. But our legs, our legs are bronzed and chiseled works of effort that would inspire Michelangelo and be worthy of any swimsuit edition (as long as it focuses on the waist down). So regardless of our buggy-whip arms and pencil-necks, let’s celebrate. The next time you hear someone bemoan their own personal leg day hell, remember that for you as well it is leg day. Take pride in the fact that you are a Velominatus and that for you, Every Day is Leg Day. Because on that day, regardless of the day of the week or where on your training calendar it lands, you have done something to honor your pins.

Marko

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically. "Cycling territory" and "the midwest" don't usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz. While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term Rainbow Turd.

View Comments

  • @Gianni

    actually I shave my legs during time off (sickness injury etc) in order to still feel like a cyclist. I find it cheers me up and makes me feel like coming back is right around the corner.

    preach Marko, preach.

    Btw people I don't know where to put this so hopefully people see it here, the channel Bein have highlights this weekend on Saturday and Sunday of both Strada Bianchi and Roma Maximus. I was lucky enough to meet  the young Mr Moser in January, nice kid. I hope he can repeat!

  • @ChrisO

    Speaking of the unspeakable... if emoticons are banned, gifs must be also on the shitlist.

    This isn't Gawker people.

    Yeah, you are correct sir.

  • @paolo

    Btw people I don't know where to put this so hopefully people see it here, the channel Bein have highlights this weekend on Saturday and Sunday of both Strada Bianchi and Roma Maximus. I was lucky enough to meet the young Mr Moser in January, nice kid. I hope he can repeat!

    Cool. Thanks for the heads up.  I actually get that channel for free. That must be an oversight of our Overlords Time Warner/Comcast. 

  • Er...OK...I am going to ask this question with dread in my soul.  It is probably one of those questions that has been debated ad nauseum or it is the devil that dare not speak its name but...it is probably like looking at a puddle you wanted to jump in as a child and thinking "It can't really be that deep right?"

    Waxing?

    Context:  New VMH after knocking me sideways with "Why don't we sit in Saturday get a crate full of beer and watch the 6 Nations Rugby" (I nearly spat my tea out in surprise!...soon followed by admiration warming in the cherished sense of buddydom) then proceeded a couple of days later to say "You don't need to shave your guns, I can wax them for you".

    In the interests of full and frank transparency I conceded and they are looking absolutely magnificent (for untanned winter legs mind you).

    Please tell me I have not sinned....to have someone sit there and do it all for you with a beer in hand and for free....I mean c'mon people?

  • @Deakus Just go with it Man! Nothing wrong with this. I can tell you from a beautician that she gets a lot of cyclist, and shit sandwich cyclist before events a wax over.

    I got a wax proposal years ago from a willing girlfriend. Mind you it took two days to do with 1/2" hair length. Needed overnight to get over the pain to get through the next days waxing of the other leg. Rule V here.

    With that in mind, stay away from the Brazilian waxing!

    I've only waxed once, and sticking with my Gillette. Great fun waxing though with a partner!

  • As long as there is no particular rule infraction I have to say I am mighty impressed.  Two sets of guns done from scratch in about an hour and half.  Stunning job with no missed patches and relatively speaking little pain.  She even rubbed them down with some kind of balm which I am assuming has Baxter like qualities - no rash or redness and the smell of tea trees.  Beer and chat too!

    All round, I think I am a convert...

  • @frank

    @scaler911

    Indeed every day is leg day. I can't seem to get the VMH to carry me around the house though.

    Considering I outweigh mine by about 40kg, me neither. The dogs are useless for this purpose as well and don't get me started on the cat or the inlaws.

    This is simple to fix: wheeled office chair, dogs, leashes, no problem.

  • @sthilzy

    @Deakus before and after pics?

    Er...I had a beer in one hand and a dame in the other...there was no capacity for pics...I would say Ill go for it next time but you tell me which one I should put down to pick up the camera...I mean...seriously?

    Besides, photos of winter legs are just plain wrong...Ill pop one up once the tan lines have been revived.

Share
Published by
Marko

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago