At work or at rest, it’s leg day. Photo: Tom Boonen

The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a cyclist. It’s likely they are a part of the Crossfit cult or on a fitness regimen to tone up and look good in a swimsuit. My immediate thought is, no shit it’s leg day, isn’t every day leg day?

As Cyclists, we cultivate our legs ritualistically. They provide the power that propels us deep into the pain cave, to freedom and to exaltation. Sure, we can talk about building the engine that is our heart and lungs. We do intervals, hill repeats, and sprints to increase aerobic capacity but the act of pushing on our pedals is what makes us move. It is our guns and our guns only that provide the visual evidence of our deposits into the V-Bank. The following is a simple list of acts the Velominati partake in that demonstrate that Every Day is Leg Day:

  • Shaving ( Rule #33 )
  • Crisp and clean tan line cultivation ( Rule #7 )
  • Not taking the stairs when the elevator goes to the 2nd floor
  • Recovery Days
  • Getting a Happy DeVlaeminck
  • Not lifting weights, grocery bags, or small children if it can be avoided
  • Gun-oriented narcissism
  • Riding bikes at the exclusion of any other form of exercise except sex (in which case you’ve gone Post-race Kelly and it’s a recovery day and therefore, Leg Day)

The Pros go to great lengths in not using their legs to power anything but their bicycles. Coppi used to have his soigneur carry him up flights of stairs to the hotel room. Hincapie would make sure his phone, remote, and other personal needs were at arms’ length on Recovery Days so he wouldn’t have to get off the couch. I wonder if he looked for apartments in Gerona with the toilet in the living room.

Of course most of us are endomorphs who look to be prepubescent boys with bald legs, baby smooth faces, and farmer’s tans. But our legs, our legs are bronzed and chiseled works of effort that would inspire Michelangelo and be worthy of any swimsuit edition (as long as it focuses on the waist down). So regardless of our buggy-whip arms and pencil-necks, let’s celebrate. The next time you hear someone bemoan their own personal leg day hell, remember that for you as well it is leg day. Take pride in the fact that you are a Velominatus and that for you, Every Day is Leg Day. Because on that day, regardless of the day of the week or where on your training calendar it lands, you have done something to honor your pins.

Marko

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically. "Cycling territory" and "the midwest" don't usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz. While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term Rainbow Turd.

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  • @RedRanger

    @The Oracle Im in the Wausau area now. get thee a bike and hitch a ride with me

    Red, I just signed up and live in West Bend. Let's keep in touch and save me a spot in da van! Happy to pitch in on fuel of all types.

    How to describe the weekend to others so they don't think I'm crazy? I'm not sure: Spending the weekend riding 104 miles on bad roads with no support., traveling and staying with men who shave their legs I met on the internet. What could be more fun?

  • ^^^^^^^ that link

    'the girls eh, they want to come and touch my legs. and my arse' -  Forstermann

  • @Marko

    @VeloSix

    @VeloSix

    @teleguy57

    @The Oracle

    @Kyle

    @KW Given the current state of Wisconsin weather, you could be wearing tights/leg warmers until the blessed event. Shave them once the nipper arrives. She'll be too tired/busy to notice.

    On the topic or riding in Wisconsin, I've committed to the Cheesehead Roubaix. Who else is in?

    I've got a "soft commitment." I think @wiscot is planning on attending as well.

    ............... I would love to get it out Tues (forecast here about 35F) since Wed's high drops back to 24F. Sheesh, this is getting old.....

    I would like to find old man winter and kick him squarely in his balls, and then punch him in the throat!

    All you Wisco riders need to come do the Heck of the North. Thus far, there are 10 Velominati signed up. Peeps coming from the PNW, New York, Scotland, Wisconsin. There is no reason for you not to show up. I've been back channeling Wiscot on this but all you dudes need to start making plans. This could very well end up being The V-gathering of the season in lieu of a KT. It's going to rule.

    http://www.heckofthenorth.com/

    Another great reason to buy a new bike!   Just not in time for this.....  Although I will put this on the to do list!!

  • @wiscot

    @RedRanger

    @The Oracle Im in the Wausau area now. get thee a bike and hitch a ride with me

    Red, I just signed up and live in West Bend. Let's keep in touch and save me a spot in da van! Happy to pitch in on fuel of all types.

    How to describe the weekend to others so they don't think I'm crazy? I'm not sure: Spending the weekend riding 104 miles on bad roads with no support., traveling and staying with men who shave their legs I met on the internet. What could be more fun?

    Trust me, tha is exactly how my wife is going to hear it.

  • @The Oracle Tell her we have a great track record with Keepers Tours and Cogals. So far there's only been one documented instance of stalking.

  • @marko

    @The Oracle Tell her we have a great track record with Keepers Tours and Cogals. So far there's only been one documented instance of stalking.

    Stalker? That's no way to talk about Mike Sinyard!

  • @KW

    @Marko

    @VeloSix

    @VeloSix

    @teleguy57

    @The Oracle

    @Kyle

    @KW Given the current state of Wisconsin weather, you could be wearing tights/leg warmers until the blessed event. Shave them once the nipper arrives. She'll be too tired/busy to notice.

    On the topic or riding in Wisconsin, I've committed to the Cheesehead Roubaix. Who else is in?

    I've got a "soft commitment." I think @wiscot is planning on attending as well.

    ............... I would love to get it out Tues (forecast here about 35F) since Wed's high drops back to 24F. Sheesh, this is getting old.....

    I would like to find old man winter and kick him squarely in his balls, and then punch him in the throat!

    All you Wisco riders need to come do the Heck of the North. Thus far, there are 10 Velominati signed up. Peeps coming from the PNW, New York, Scotland, Wisconsin. There is no reason for you not to show up. I've been back channeling Wiscot on this but all you dudes need to start making plans. This could very well end up being The V-gathering of the season in lieu of a KT. It's going to rule.

    http://www.heckofthenorth.com/

    As much as I would love to be there, it's about a month after the aforementioned Velominipper is to arrive. I am quite certain that if the subject were broached, the ability to create additional nippers could be seriously compromised.

    That's my wedding anniversary weekend.  My attendance would likely result in a similar fate.

  • @Kyle

    That's my wedding anniversary weekend. My attendance would likely result in a similar fate.

    Absolutely no excuse. I refer the honourable gentleman to the Caledonian Cogal on which my beloved Velomissus and I will celebrate our 20th anniversary.

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Marko

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