At work or at rest, it’s leg day. Photo: Tom Boonen

The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a cyclist. It’s likely they are a part of the Crossfit cult or on a fitness regimen to tone up and look good in a swimsuit. My immediate thought is, no shit it’s leg day, isn’t every day leg day?

As Cyclists, we cultivate our legs ritualistically. They provide the power that propels us deep into the pain cave, to freedom and to exaltation. Sure, we can talk about building the engine that is our heart and lungs. We do intervals, hill repeats, and sprints to increase aerobic capacity but the act of pushing on our pedals is what makes us move. It is our guns and our guns only that provide the visual evidence of our deposits into the V-Bank. The following is a simple list of acts the Velominati partake in that demonstrate that Every Day is Leg Day:

  • Shaving ( Rule #33 )
  • Crisp and clean tan line cultivation ( Rule #7 )
  • Not taking the stairs when the elevator goes to the 2nd floor
  • Recovery Days
  • Getting a Happy DeVlaeminck
  • Not lifting weights, grocery bags, or small children if it can be avoided
  • Gun-oriented narcissism
  • Riding bikes at the exclusion of any other form of exercise except sex (in which case you’ve gone Post-race Kelly and it’s a recovery day and therefore, Leg Day)

The Pros go to great lengths in not using their legs to power anything but their bicycles. Coppi used to have his soigneur carry him up flights of stairs to the hotel room. Hincapie would make sure his phone, remote, and other personal needs were at arms’ length on Recovery Days so he wouldn’t have to get off the couch. I wonder if he looked for apartments in Gerona with the toilet in the living room.

Of course most of us are endomorphs who look to be prepubescent boys with bald legs, baby smooth faces, and farmer’s tans. But our legs, our legs are bronzed and chiseled works of effort that would inspire Michelangelo and be worthy of any swimsuit edition (as long as it focuses on the waist down). So regardless of our buggy-whip arms and pencil-necks, let’s celebrate. The next time you hear someone bemoan their own personal leg day hell, remember that for you as well it is leg day. Take pride in the fact that you are a Velominatus and that for you, Every Day is Leg Day. Because on that day, regardless of the day of the week or where on your training calendar it lands, you have done something to honor your pins.

Marko

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically. "Cycling territory" and "the midwest" don't usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz. While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term Rainbow Turd.

View Comments

  • @Richard Johnson Yes, absolutely without a doubt.

    Just don't go outside and don't feel any obligation to tell us about it.

    Refer to the masturbation principle.

  • @Richard Johnson

    Advice needed re legs: is it permissible for a male cyclist to wear women's (thick, black, 40 denier) tights, in lieu of lycra; underneath bibshorts?

    Good Lord, did you actually just ask that question? No, nothing goes under, or over bib shorts! Go and buy some propper leg warmers and quit doing things by halves.

  • I was telling the VMH how the Pro's get it so good. How they get daily massages and their only activities are eat, sleep, train and recover. She quips "It's the same with you. After your ride on Saturday you come home and are useless for the rest of the day. You don't want to do any work around the house and just sit on the couch all day."

    She's right....

  • @Puffy

    @Richard Johnson

    Advice needed re legs: is it permissible for a male cyclist to wear women's (thick, black, 40 denier) tights, in lieu of lycra; underneath bibshorts?

    Good Lord, did you actually just ask that question? No, nothing goes under, or over bib shorts! Go and buy some propper leg warmers and quit doing things by halves.

    Do questions fall under the masturbation principle?

  • @scaler911

    Indeed every day is leg day. I can't seem to get the VMH to carry me around the house though.

    Considering I outweigh mine by about 40kg, me neither. The dogs are useless for this purpose as well and don't get me started on the cat or the inlaws.

  • @marko

    @Puffy

    @Richard Johnson

    Advice needed re legs: is it permissible for a male cyclist to wear women's (thick, black, 40 denier) tights, in lieu of lycra; underneath bibshorts?

    Good Lord, did you actually just ask that question? No, nothing goes under, or over bib shorts! Go and buy some propper leg warmers and quit doing things by halves.

    Do questions fall under the Masturbation Principle?

    Chicken and the egg. The question is OK, obviously our new Pedalwan @Richard Johnson is in need of guidance.

    The correct answer, of course, is @Puffy's. What falls under the MP is the pontification of how often this happens. Chris's answer is enough, no further discussion required.

  • @Richard Johnson

    Advice needed re legs: is it permissible for a male cyclist to wear women's (thick, black, 40 denier) tights, in lieu of lycra; underneath bibshorts?

  • Beauty Marko. Every day is leg day. So true. My general state of well being as a cyclist and human is directly reflected in the state of my legs and their shavedness, if you will. When I'm injured/sick/fat/depressed or any combination of those, my legs start to get fuzzy. Only serious cyclists shave their legs. So every mini-come back I make starts with a vicious leg shaving, then I'm back, baby!

  • Speaking of the unspeakable... if emoticons are banned, gifs must be also on the shitlist.

    This isn't Gawker people.

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