The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a cyclist. It’s likely they are a part of the Crossfit cult or on a fitness regimen to tone up and look good in a swimsuit. My immediate thought is, no shit it’s leg day, isn’t every day leg day?
As Cyclists, we cultivate our legs ritualistically. They provide the power that propels us deep into the pain cave, to freedom and to exaltation. Sure, we can talk about building the engine that is our heart and lungs. We do intervals, hill repeats, and sprints to increase aerobic capacity but the act of pushing on our pedals is what makes us move. It is our guns and our guns only that provide the visual evidence of our deposits into the V-Bank. The following is a simple list of acts the Velominati partake in that demonstrate that Every Day is Leg Day:
The Pros go to great lengths in not using their legs to power anything but their bicycles. Coppi used to have his soigneur carry him up flights of stairs to the hotel room. Hincapie would make sure his phone, remote, and other personal needs were at arms’ length on Recovery Days so he wouldn’t have to get off the couch. I wonder if he looked for apartments in Gerona with the toilet in the living room.
Of course most of us are endomorphs who look to be prepubescent boys with bald legs, baby smooth faces, and farmer’s tans. But our legs, our legs are bronzed and chiseled works of effort that would inspire Michelangelo and be worthy of any swimsuit edition (as long as it focuses on the waist down). So regardless of our buggy-whip arms and pencil-necks, let’s celebrate. The next time you hear someone bemoan their own personal leg day hell, remember that for you as well it is leg day. Take pride in the fact that you are a Velominatus and that for you, Every Day is Leg Day. Because on that day, regardless of the day of the week or where on your training calendar it lands, you have done something to honor your pins.
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While it's always a leg day, I love the feeling 3 days after doing a harder or longer ride than normal. After 1 day my legs feel tired and hot. After day 2 they feel dull and heavy. On the 3rd day they feel strong and fast again. Then the process starts again: eat sleep ride repeat.
@Ron
The military fitness craze is big where I live. Big groups of people being shouted at and humiliated in the park by ex-soldiers wearing camo. I just don't get it.
@Richard Johnson The de feet knee warmers are long enough to almost cover your whole leg I'd go for those. if you are wearing shorts.
I'll say it quietly but I wore one piece bib longs / tights through the worst of winter this year. I don't see the point in leg warmers that you aren't going to take off during a ride, they are too much of a faff for me.
@norm If you're a short arse like me then you've got to work quite hard to pull the defeat leg warmers up high enough to maintain a sensible looking gap between warmer and sock.
Bib tights for commuting, bibs and leg warmers for cycling.
@Deakus
Judi Dench waxed your legs ?
If your guns are sprouting hair, it's an early warning sign that something in life has run off the rails, and that corrective measures are required posthaste.
Corrective measure #1 is to shave every square millimeter and immediately apply a Rule V ride.
Corrective measure #2 is to repeat measure #1 obsessively until proper tan lines are observed.
Works every time.
@ChrisO
Now you mention it...perhaps I should have dropped Judi in favour of the camera but to be honest I was mostly interested in getting smooth guns and probably pretty stunned that anyone would want to wax my guns for free whilst feeding me beer....I think "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" springs to mind!
@Richard Johnson
You're new here, so here's a hint: don't take the response to your query too hard. Taking the piss out of ourselves is the point. Welcome.
Rule of thumb: if it fails to help you Look Fantastic, it's unwise. If you're operating under Velominatus Budgetatus rules, I empathize - compromises must be made when funds are dear.
@Gianni It's been months now since I've ridden my bike except for trainer sessions. Shaving gets me through the winter. And not a day goes by I don't think about getting my guns back to their former gloryish.
@Deakus This sounds like some sort of cyclo-erotica treatment. I'm not sure what to think other than, combined with the beer and rugby suggestion, you've just pulled off a successful break-away in the VMH race. Hopefully it sticks.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph look at those FUCKIN legs. Unbelievable the pain that they have endured and doled out. They're like Musashi's fucking daisho or something. Just awesome.