The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a cyclist. It’s likely they are a part of the Crossfit cult or on a fitness regimen to tone up and look good in a swimsuit. My immediate thought is, no shit it’s leg day, isn’t every day leg day?
As Cyclists, we cultivate our legs ritualistically. They provide the power that propels us deep into the pain cave, to freedom and to exaltation. Sure, we can talk about building the engine that is our heart and lungs. We do intervals, hill repeats, and sprints to increase aerobic capacity but the act of pushing on our pedals is what makes us move. It is our guns and our guns only that provide the visual evidence of our deposits into the V-Bank. The following is a simple list of acts the Velominati partake in that demonstrate that Every Day is Leg Day:
The Pros go to great lengths in not using their legs to power anything but their bicycles. Coppi used to have his soigneur carry him up flights of stairs to the hotel room. Hincapie would make sure his phone, remote, and other personal needs were at arms’ length on Recovery Days so he wouldn’t have to get off the couch. I wonder if he looked for apartments in Gerona with the toilet in the living room.
Of course most of us are endomorphs who look to be prepubescent boys with bald legs, baby smooth faces, and farmer’s tans. But our legs, our legs are bronzed and chiseled works of effort that would inspire Michelangelo and be worthy of any swimsuit edition (as long as it focuses on the waist down). So regardless of our buggy-whip arms and pencil-necks, let’s celebrate. The next time you hear someone bemoan their own personal leg day hell, remember that for you as well it is leg day. Take pride in the fact that you are a Velominatus and that for you, Every Day is Leg Day. Because on that day, regardless of the day of the week or where on your training calendar it lands, you have done something to honor your pins.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@marko
Tell me about it. I was taking care of the guns last night when I realized - shock/horror - that my legs are almost the same color all over. The tan lines are barely visible. Other than a weatherbeaten face, the same goes for the arms too. Mind you, supposed to be high 20s/low 30s this weekend - that's good ridin' right there!
I have a question for my fellow Velominati. I know this has been covered in other places, but fuck if I'm gonna take the time to search. That sounds a lot like work, or akin to reading an article.
I have yet to convert to the shaved guns (yeah, yeah, 50 lashes with a spare tube), but have been seriously contemplating it for this season. I'd like to hear opinions (fairly serious ones, too) on how to go about broaching the subject with Mrs. KW. Mostly, she thinks I'm a bit off the reservation when it comes to the bike, and I know exactly what she'll say if I bring it up.
Any helpful hints?
@marko
I will try and pull a Jensy...if you guys give me 200m I am away and you are not catching me. Otherwise a new height has been set for the VMH performance bar and I am pleased to be the one to stress test it...
@KW
This is not an opinion, but I'll share it with you anyway. Shave the guns! They look more awesome, smooth and hard!
@KW Best to get this "new" cut started with an electric body shaver.
@antihero
Finally had a ride the weekend before last, first since November, without leg or knee warmers. Later, while showering post ride, I discovered the tan lines were clearly established. Cultivation must now carry forth....
@KW
There is no way to deal with this delicately. She will either laugh or cry, in either case her response has already been pre-ordained. You will get as much flack for suggesting it as you will for doing it. You will already know if this is likely to be the last straw....but if it is not likely then go ahead do it and wait for her to find out in the bedroom....who knows, you may be in for a good night! (necessary to insert the correct emoticon here but fear flogging with a mini pump so will tow the line.)
@norm
This is an activity they volunteer for? And they wear camo? Sounds like Rambo wanna bees to me....
@Deakus
Hell, my VMH giggled the first day... now just asks, "did you leave me any hot water?"
@KW No serious advice from me I'm afraid as I've failed miserably to convince Mrs. Chris that Rule 33 is anything other than a dangerous perversion. I suspect that I'd have to resort to bribery of an exceedingly expensive metastable allotrope of carbon nature to sway her view. Not that she runs the show...
You know your Missus better than anyone here, hopefully, so you should know how to best get her onside but I generally find that these things will come down to a compromise. Given that you can't compromise on the shaving thing (just below the knees?) you'll have to work out what she might want.
One thing I wouldn't do is, go for it without discussing, I did and was issued with a Withholding Notice until a decent growth had been achieved.