At work or at rest, it’s leg day. Photo: Tom Boonen

The proclamation is heard in the office, on social media, at the bar with friends; “It’s leg day.” When someone utters “it’s leg day” the accompanying tone of resentment and even dread is usually followed by an audible “ugh”. This exasperation belies one fact, the person making the utterance is not a cyclist. It’s likely they are a part of the Crossfit cult or on a fitness regimen to tone up and look good in a swimsuit. My immediate thought is, no shit it’s leg day, isn’t every day leg day?

As Cyclists, we cultivate our legs ritualistically. They provide the power that propels us deep into the pain cave, to freedom and to exaltation. Sure, we can talk about building the engine that is our heart and lungs. We do intervals, hill repeats, and sprints to increase aerobic capacity but the act of pushing on our pedals is what makes us move. It is our guns and our guns only that provide the visual evidence of our deposits into the V-Bank. The following is a simple list of acts the Velominati partake in that demonstrate that Every Day is Leg Day:

  • Shaving ( Rule #33 )
  • Crisp and clean tan line cultivation ( Rule #7 )
  • Not taking the stairs when the elevator goes to the 2nd floor
  • Recovery Days
  • Getting a Happy DeVlaeminck
  • Not lifting weights, grocery bags, or small children if it can be avoided
  • Gun-oriented narcissism
  • Riding bikes at the exclusion of any other form of exercise except sex (in which case you’ve gone Post-race Kelly and it’s a recovery day and therefore, Leg Day)

The Pros go to great lengths in not using their legs to power anything but their bicycles. Coppi used to have his soigneur carry him up flights of stairs to the hotel room. Hincapie would make sure his phone, remote, and other personal needs were at arms’ length on Recovery Days so he wouldn’t have to get off the couch. I wonder if he looked for apartments in Gerona with the toilet in the living room.

Of course most of us are endomorphs who look to be prepubescent boys with bald legs, baby smooth faces, and farmer’s tans. But our legs, our legs are bronzed and chiseled works of effort that would inspire Michelangelo and be worthy of any swimsuit edition (as long as it focuses on the waist down). So regardless of our buggy-whip arms and pencil-necks, let’s celebrate. The next time you hear someone bemoan their own personal leg day hell, remember that for you as well it is leg day. Take pride in the fact that you are a Velominatus and that for you, Every Day is Leg Day. Because on that day, regardless of the day of the week or where on your training calendar it lands, you have done something to honor your pins.

Marko

Marko lives and rides in the upper midwest of the States, Minnesota specifically. "Cycling territory" and "the midwest" don't usually end up in the same sentence unless the conversation turns to the roots of LeMond, Hampsten, Heiden and Ochowitz. While the pavé and bergs of Flanders are his preferred places to ride, you can usually find him harvesting gravel along forest and farm roads. He owes a lot to Cycling and his greatest contribution to cycling may forever be coining the term Rainbow Turd.

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  • Thanks to all for your words of wisdom/encouragement/beratement. I will take it all under advisement.

    @Beers

     

    It seems in modern day relationships there is some supposed fear of your other half, in particular the withholding notice. To be honest, if your partner is going to stop you doing something you want to do, that in no way harms them, then I'm not sure they really care for you as much as they do their own thoughts and opinions. And if you are happy to forgo some of your independence, good for you.

    I'll  have to take that one up with my therapist...

    @Kyle

    @KW Given the current state of Wisconsin weather, you could be wearing tights/leg warmers until the blessed event. Shave them once the nipper arrives. She'll be too tired/busy to notice.

    On the topic or riding in Wisconsin, I've committed to the Cheesehead Roubaix. Who else is in?

    Nipper's not due til September, so that would mean an entire season of inaction on my part. We'll see how it goes...

    I'm planning on being there for the Cheesehead Roubaix. That is, if I can ever get some goddamned road miles in before then. But, as @wiscot said, this weekend's looking pretty hopeful.

  • That has to be one of the longest streams of advice I've seen here for quite some time.

    @KW we'll be looking forward to confirmation of your clean shaven status.

  • @frank

    @Ron

    Crossfit. I went off my meds a few weeks back & I'll try to remain calm. But, paying good money to go throw a tire around downtown city blocks? Good lord, exercise scams never cease.

    I totally see your point, but given the obesity situation around here, I'm just happy to see people working out. There is one around the corner from where I live and some people just have to sign up for something in order to find the motivation to get a workout.

    Not my cup of tea, but if it gets some people active, then I don't have an issue with it.

    Very excellent point. There are just plenty of things I enjoy doing that involve exercise, so it's hard for me to understand doing something you dread and paying for it. But yes, as long as it gets them moving.

    I'm sure someone has come up with one and I'm not a tech fella and I don't even own a very smart phone...but there must be something like Strava to get people exercising & competing with mates/co-workers/family members, right? (off the bike stuff - walking, jogging, movement)

  • Great read Marko.

    Heading to the shower last night, I asked my flatmates if they needed to use the toilet before I took over the bathroom. My female flattie then asked, without any condescension, "are you shaving your legs?" She knew that I might be a while in there...

  • @KW

    Thanks to all for your words of wisdom/encouragement/beratement. I will take it all under advisement.

    @Beers

    It seems in modern day relationships there is some supposed fear of your other half, in particular the withholding notice. To be honest, if your partner is going to stop you doing something you want to do, that in no way harms them, then I'm not sure they really care for you as much as they do their own thoughts and opinions. And if you are happy to forgo some of your independence, good for you.

    I'll have to take that one up with my therapist...

    @Kyle

    @KW Given the current state of Wisconsin weather, you could be wearing tights/leg warmers until the blessed event. Shave them once the nipper arrives. She'll be too tired/busy to notice.

    On the topic or riding in Wisconsin, I've committed to the Cheesehead Roubaix. Who else is in?

    Nipper's not due til September, so that would mean an entire season of inaction on my part. We'll see how it goes...

    I'm planning on being there for the Cheesehead Roubaix. That is, if I can ever get some goddamned road miles in before then. But, as @wiscot said, this weekend's looking pretty hopeful.

    I'm in for the Cheesehead Roubaix, boys. See you there. I think we can get a nice group going.

  • @KW,

    One of the wisest pieces of advice I've ever been given is this, "It is far better to beg forgiveness than to ask for permission."  After riding for several years Chewbacca-style, I began shaving after being punished for straying from the road on an MTB with a nasty case of poison oak. It's no bullshit  that caring for abrasions is much less painful when shaven. My girl didn't even notice for probably a month. Just pull the trigger & don't sweat it. You're about to have a kid together, so you'll both have fatter fish to fry & you're probably not getting any play for awhile to give her an opportunity to notice anyway. It's not as though you're thinking of taking up snorting coke or shooting heroin is it??

  • Just been given the go ahead from the better half to shave my legs (I showed her this thread) and I'm racing for the first time at the end of the month. I may however have to race cyclocross during the winter to be allowed to keep shaving all year around (a small yet incredibly painful price to pay?!).

  • Greetings Velominati, I'm new in these parts. a short intro, I've been on the bike a few years now.  I've been lurking, laughing and learning from this site for a while recently, gradually ticking off compliance of rules.

    @KW

    I decided yesterday to commit properly to cycling with rule 33. Many hours in the saddle today and the appearance of tan lines already - March in the uk. My joy of cycling has gone up significantly.

  • @frank

    @marko

    @Puffy

    @Richard Johnson

    Advice needed re legs: is it permissible for a male cyclist to wear women's (thick, black, 40 denier) tights, in lieu of lycra; underneath bibshorts?

    Good Lord, did you actually just ask that question? No, nothing goes under, or over bib shorts! Go and buy some propper leg warmers and quit doing things by halves.

    Do questions fall under the Masturbation Principle?

    Chicken and the egg. The question is OK, obviously our new Pedalwan @Richard Johnson is in need of guidance.

    The correct answer, of course, is @Puffy's. What falls under the MP is the pontification of how often this happens. Chris's answer is enough, no further discussion required.

    I went to see Rocky Horror Picture Show during the week....sooooo....is it ok to wear fishnet stockings and a garter belt under my bib shorts?

    I realise that the G string is a no no due to the no undie rule.

  • It's no wonder this convo turned largely into to shaving. Fair enough, discussions take on their own life around here and shaving is certainly part and parcel for Velominati. That said, it's also about the negative space between training and living our lives. The thought we put into our guns when we're not riding. Also reveling in the pain we put our legs through that everybody else who exercises seems to loathe.  Maybe the sequel will be "No Day is Arm Day."

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