I love every kind of bike, from the tricked-out fixies all over Seattle (hello – hilly-ass town! Unless your fixie is a 39-27, you are not making a sensible choice!), to the awesome Dutch Bikes, to the phenomenal racers around town, I love them all.
I am, however, a bitch when it comes to bike noise. Some noises can be forgiven, while others can not. My good friends at Speedy Reedy in Seattle know this all too well, I think, based on a recent comment the head mechanic made, “I don’t doubt it makes noise, I just don’t know if it’s the spoke tension…” The point is, if it’s making a sound, that’s kinetic energy not focused in making me go forward even though it’s caused by energy I’m putting into the bicycle. And that’s bad. There’s also a certain mechanical challenge in making a bike run silently, one that I enjoy when it’s not pissing me off: working through the possible sources of the noise in a process of elimination and the thrill of having silenced it.
There is only one noise that I accept on a bike, and that is drive train noise. That is, if you’re running Shimano or SRAM. Campy, I have found, runs almost silently. My bike – aside from the dull pop I’m currently hearing in my saddle when my fat-ass runs over a big enough bump – is virtually silent these days. All I hear is the hum of my wheels, and that is a sound worth buying wheels for. That said, Shimano and SRAM are simply noisy. The chain or the pulleys in the derailleur or something but they simply make noise. And, while it’s still a loss in kinetic energy, that’s OK.
But a squeaky chain? Unforgivable. I don’t care who you are, but if you own a bicycle, you can buy a can of WD-40 and make it stop-the-fuck squeaking. Or Tri-Flow. Or, better yet, something your local bike shop mechanic recommends. Topic closed.
My point is, I am not a bike snob. I am, however, a nod snob. Some cyclist will nod at anyone riding another bike. Others will nod at anyone who nods at them. Paradoxically, many of them will not nod at a female cyclist, unless they didn’t realize she was a female.
I, on the other hand, am very judicious when it comes to nodding at a cyclist. The cyclist’s nod is an acknowledgment of a kindred spirit, of souls suffering towards a similar goal. It implies a similar level of devotion to the sport, a willingness to betray accepted social norms for the life of a cyclist. This is a vaguely-defined set of criteria more accurately measured by stating those qualities which will result in me not nodding at a fellow cyclist.
Those qualities are as follows, in no particular order:
I think that covers it.
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I'd go with that list, although your clothing requirements re: tights/knickers/shorts ratio to weather needs clarification.
Do we need a Nod Rules section as well?
@Jarvis
Great to see you reading some of these old posts. Here you can see The Rules in perhaps their prenatal form.
Certainly the tights/knickers needs more clarification here; it depends on your climate, but no tights when it is above freezing and no knickers if it is above 50F.
I have long felt I stood alone in my Nod Snobbishness. Part of our culture dictates that we acknowledge all riders, but I feel this dilutes our ilk. Nod Rules is a terrific idea.
Damn it, frank. This is the sort of stuff that got me hot and bothered when I first discovered your fabulous site. "No tights if not above freezing?" But, let me make sure I understand you. Do you mean, no tights if not above freezing, if you are actually racing? Or, no tights if not above freezing, ever. If the latter, I say, Jesus Christ. What you are about? In the Central Valley of CA, when the temp is below 50 degrees F, I wear *two* pairs of tights. Current pros, some of whom you've heard of, and ex-pros, some of whom you've heard of, wear tights up to 55 or 60 degrees. Knee and arm warmers are seen all over maybe even up to 65 to 70 degrees F. And don't say, "See Rule 5". There's nothing hard about freezing on a bike in the Winter while out for 3,4,5 hours getting in some good base training. It's just stupid. By that logic, the one who can wear nothing but lycra shorts and jersey in the coldest of temps is the hardest. No, that's just stupid, and it undermines the legitimate goals a racer should have. There's a real danger to cycling in a casuistic promulgation of rules that are divorced from sensible, legitimate cycling goals. Who is the one who hardens the fuck up? The one who mangages to do whatever is necessary to achieve legitimate cycling aims, or the one who chooses to standout by enduring whatever pain and suffering he can find, however detrimental to true cycling aims?
You are not alone in your Nod Snobbishness. But, now, no Nod Rules. The customs differ from region to region. I have no desire to identify with any and everyone on a bike. If you are loathsome Critical Mass rider, the only gesture I wish to offer is the middle-finger.
@david
Fuck. This is why we love you so much. You are indeed the beacon of the Cogniscenti.
Shit, there is a real reason to wear knickers when the temperature is below a certain level: sparing your knees. Wearing shoe covers serves another purpose: saving your toes. Both of these bits of your body do not warm up through working harder. Knees, if you don't protect them, can be damaged and require months of work to come back to life. Protect them, for they are the cyclist's achilles heel.
The temperatures that this happens at depends on the humidity in the air, but even in Seattle, if it's more than 50-55 - and certainly 60 degrees, there is no need for knee warmers.
No damage will occur to your muscles between your calves (which your knickers should cover) and your shoes (which your shoe covers will warm). Tights are for pussies and only required in very cold weather.
But, as a Californian, I'll concede that your climate is different from mine and maybe your joint's tolerances are different.
But please don't talk about wearing "two pairs of tights" ever again. Ever.
Two pairs of tights, fuck me!
Only Old Gregg wears tights, and he's got a mangina.
@frank
your wrong about tights. If you're not wearing tights/leg warmers below 12C(I have no idea what this is in the other temperature) then you look a twat. Leg/Knee warmers are then required up to 20C. Above that we can let the legs out.
This does not apply to racing of course.
@david
see, you do need Nod Rules.
I nod at all bikes. I have heard more than once from plodders that racer "types" are such snobs. It does not mean that I like/respect them. They can be complete Neanderthals in their attachment to bad habits.
This conversation has a parallel: In the motorcycling world where one is on ones beautiful and brilliant old BMW you still give the salute to (gag) pig fucker Harleys. The thought is we all face the same monster, so you too deserve my respect, no matter what horrible machine you choose to ride.
As to tights and Nod Rules I go with David it is too much. If it is a rule that works in The Rules fine but we do not need to start policing the unpolicible.
@Rob I nod at all bikes.
I'm fortunate enough to have a bike trail 32 miles . . . err, 51.49 km long. On a busy day up and down the trail I may pass 50 people going my direction and who knows how many going the other direction. I'm certainly not nodding all day long. Nor do I even say, "On your left", "G'day, mate", blah, blah. I just ride.
On the other hand, Rob is onto something that has caught my interest. "Plodders", as he says, think of racer-types as such snobs. And, frankly, many am. racers are just real pricks. It would probably do cycling good if racers were friendly on the bike even to plodders, Freds, etc. Others who might not take an interest in bicycle racing might do so at the local level, and then, also at the international level, or vice versa. And, some of the people out there are just real happy they found cycling, an enthusiasm which should be encouraged in any way.
So, I pretty much just let my mood dictate how I interact with others. If I'm hurting myself, I'm in my own little world. Sorry that I don't wave. If I'm out on a rest ride with the plodders, trail tourists, fat middle-aged women, pixies . . . err, I mean fixies, I might try to be as friendly as I can.
At any rate, I don't think the area is worthy of a Rule in the Canon. Surely, not all behavior on a bike must be rule-governed.
Hehe. Just keep in mind that the weather that derailed the ToC last year is the weather I have to ride in during the Winter. That's the weather Tom Boonen said prepared him for riding in the classics--in Belgium. And, Thor Hushovd on the Northern CA winter: "For me coming from Norway it is so different, to come to this cold place!"
And we're listening to Aussies on the matter? For Christ's sake, it's winter in July down under. How cold could it get in July, anywhere?! Australian cold weather gear: wool socks, if both of the only pair owned can be found, and full-fingered cricket gloves.
Seriously, though, I've talked with some cyclists who ride in the Winter in Wisconsin. Ouch. At regular intervals they get off their bikes and stomp their feet just to keep the blood flowing.