I love every kind of bike, from the tricked-out fixies all over Seattle (hello – hilly-ass town! Unless your fixie is a 39-27, you are not making a sensible choice!), to the awesome Dutch Bikes, to the phenomenal racers around town, I love them all.
I am, however, a bitch when it comes to bike noise. Some noises can be forgiven, while others can not. My good friends at Speedy Reedy in Seattle know this all too well, I think, based on a recent comment the head mechanic made, “I don’t doubt it makes noise, I just don’t know if it’s the spoke tension…” The point is, if it’s making a sound, that’s kinetic energy not focused in making me go forward even though it’s caused by energy I’m putting into the bicycle. And that’s bad. There’s also a certain mechanical challenge in making a bike run silently, one that I enjoy when it’s not pissing me off: working through the possible sources of the noise in a process of elimination and the thrill of having silenced it.
There is only one noise that I accept on a bike, and that is drive train noise. That is, if you’re running Shimano or SRAM. Campy, I have found, runs almost silently. My bike – aside from the dull pop I’m currently hearing in my saddle when my fat-ass runs over a big enough bump – is virtually silent these days. All I hear is the hum of my wheels, and that is a sound worth buying wheels for. That said, Shimano and SRAM are simply noisy. The chain or the pulleys in the derailleur or something but they simply make noise. And, while it’s still a loss in kinetic energy, that’s OK.
But a squeaky chain? Unforgivable. I don’t care who you are, but if you own a bicycle, you can buy a can of WD-40 and make it stop-the-fuck squeaking. Or Tri-Flow. Or, better yet, something your local bike shop mechanic recommends. Topic closed.
My point is, I am not a bike snob. I am, however, a nod snob. Some cyclist will nod at anyone riding another bike. Others will nod at anyone who nods at them. Paradoxically, many of them will not nod at a female cyclist, unless they didn’t realize she was a female.
I, on the other hand, am very judicious when it comes to nodding at a cyclist. The cyclist’s nod is an acknowledgment of a kindred spirit, of souls suffering towards a similar goal. It implies a similar level of devotion to the sport, a willingness to betray accepted social norms for the life of a cyclist. This is a vaguely-defined set of criteria more accurately measured by stating those qualities which will result in me not nodding at a fellow cyclist.
Those qualities are as follows, in no particular order:
I think that covers it.
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@scaler911
Is that a dismembered birkenstock-wearing foot in the background?
@scaler911
@frank
Rock Shox?
OK its a bit late but
@minion
this guy lives
I dont think rule #666 cuts it.
@xyxax
I was just thinking the same thing: Why? How? Where? So many questions, but I probably don't want the answer.
@Lepidopterist
How'd that thing get on a Velodrome?
@scaler911
You're as right as rain (does one hear that in the PNW?).
Do say: "What the fuck?"
Don't say: "If only farings could talk."
@frank
Knee warmers below 20 degrees - I'd never be out of the damn things here in Scotland. For Scotland all temperature related Rules, Customs and Advisories should be 5 degrees lower that anywhere else..
Rapha are having a bit of fun in their customer survey. Example question:
@Chris
This mentions nothing about the Anti Bear pepper spray some of our Merican cousins were talking about some months ago!
my other favorite chris was regarding la...
lance armstrong knocks on the door. do you:
invite him in for a drink & possibly dinner to talk about his glittering career
shut the door immediately
call oprah
i said call oprah.