This week’s Guest Article comes from our friend, @blacktoolpower (l) and our editor Drummond Moir (r). In anticipation of our book’s imminent release, these two donned their lab coats and headed out to the streets of London to assess the state of Rule Compliance in the city’s commuter crowd. Always remember: leave this kind of inspection to professionals and should you find yourself in such a position, take special care to observe Rule #43.
Yours in Cycling, Frank
—
Friday 24th March was a day of reckoning for the cyclists of London. In anticipation of the imminent publication of The Rules: The Way of the Cycling Disciple, we took to the streets, vigilante-style, to assess whether the Cycling population of the capital were Rules Compliant, or Rules Violators.
We were ruthless. We were professional. No fool was suffered gladly.
Do Not Complain If, During Guerilla Bike Inspections, You Get a Cold.
It was rather wet. And cold. And I didn’t have a jacket. But to complain of the subsequent pestilence would be to fail, pure and simple. To Cycle is to suffer; to seek out Rules Violators during the coldest Spring in over 30 years is sheer bravery and dedication. What sort of Bike Inspector would I be if I couldn’t follow that most basic and fundamental of Rules, Rules #5?
Do Not Fear the Common Man
I had minor reservations about Dr. Spackman’s wellbeing should our benevolent intentions during assessment be misconstrued. Fortunately, I was being over-cautious. From the very first Cyclist we flagged down, to the final pair of socks we measured, London’s Cyclists were as accommodating and as friendly as we could have hoped. Rule #43 was adhered to at all times.
Do Not Succumb to Wrath, or to Despair
There were moments of pain. Of hopelessness. Of despondency tinged with impotent fury.
So many EPMSs!
But Dr Spackman and I pressed on, strengthened by sheer conviction in our mission.
[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Rule Inspection/”/]
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I've lost count of the times this site has made me spray a mouthful of tea over my keyboard and monitor - great stuff!
Evaluating commuters for rule violations? Cruel!
I think they should have taken one copy of the book with them to hand out to the first bike that did not violate any rules.
Blacktoolpower... bet that turns up some interesting searches on Google.
@G'rilla
If its anything like the Commuter scene in Seattle, then yes!
On a ride on Tues, I got back into town after about 200km out and was unfortunate to be caught out in the Commuter Grand Prix. Merckx, it was awful, what a competitive bunch of people who apparently love nothing more than to pass a rider in kit...one guy was on a bike with a little motor and just MASHING the pedals in the Sit up and Beg position - actually red-faced launching out of every stop light to try to stay ahead of me. I eventually just took the little back roads home to avoid the mob.
I ordered the book last night from amazon.
Fekking brilliant work men.
Great costume, nothing like a white lab coat to look imperious. It's nice the English can have a laugh about this. Americans would not be so fun. Though someone should do this in Seattle and Portland, inspectors would be very busy and offense would be taken at every opportunity.
Nice work, what a proper way to promote a book.
Hilarious!
You should do a limited edition of the book that includes those cards. I could use more than a few just in the bike parking at our office.
Just got word from Amazon UK that my copy has been dispatched. Next Friday the 21st will be like Christmas in June!
My oh my oh my that is fine looking book...It was laying on the table in the light yesterday evening and I couldn't resist taking a shot of it!
Top notch, truly.