Categories: Belgian AffirmationsDefining MomentsEtiquetteThe Rules

Cut Like a Buffalo

We need to be tough on and off the bike.

Malcolm Gladwell’s 10,000 Hour Rule suggests that mastering a skill comes down to an incredible amount of practice; however talented you might be, it is the cultivation of raw talent into skill that distinguishes between success and failure. To train is to practice, and every hour we spend devoted to our craft is one spent chipping away at our facade to slowly reveal our true selves, like Michelangelo swinging his hammer to chip away the fragments of marble that obscure the masterpiece within.

Becoming skilled at our chosen craft requires discipline and perseverance. Toughness. Not only on the bike, but in all aspects of our lives. It demands that we get enough sleep, that we eat well, and that we manage our personal lives such that we are still able to Train Properly. Well, two out of three ain’t bad, anyway.

But mastering the art requires that we go out when the skies are dark and the clouds are laden heavy with rain. It requires that we commit to early morning roller or turbo sessions, that we submit to long, cold rides on short winter days, riding within the light cone cut from the darkness by our headlights. Even in Spring and into Summer, as the demands of bad weather and dark days diminish, we are still torn between the work that lies before us and the temptation of the easier path.

Keeper @Marko sent me a set of rollers, which I am ashamed I did not previously posses. I am also ashamed to admit I have not yet ridden them apart from a short spin to make sure they didn’t have any grenades in them. In my defense, just as they arrived, the weather in Seattle morphed from caterpillar into butterfly and I have taken every opportunity to cultivate my tan lines, so faras a Seattleite might have a tan line in April. But I know that starting in May, my training for the Festum Prophetae Hour requires two-hour sessions on the rollers to cultivate my stroke, so I have to wrench myself from the sunny streets to do The Work for the greater objective. Especially because I have heard tell two hours on The Rollers in a nasty thing. Especially on a fixed-wheel track bike.

Picasso said that you should learn The Rules like a Pro so you can break them like an artist. To that end, I am prepared to start riding my rollers for the sake of my Hour efforts in June and August. But that doesn’t mean I’m going to like it. Not one stinking little bit. But it is required, so it will be done.

And speaking of track bikes, my Don Walker Hour bike is being redone in a VLVV paint scheme.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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wiscot says:

Apr 19 2016 at 10:30 am

@KogaLover

@Frank, you opened Pandora’s box with your Meatloaf “2 out of 3 ain’t bad” link. This was my first record I bought, when I was a teenager and I still know all lyrics by heart. So for training purposes, think about getting out of bed like a bat out of hell, see the cycling paradise by your dashboard light, during the Hour you’ll be all revved up with basically no place to go, we’ll all be crying out loud for you. Heaven for you will wait until after the Hour is done, after which you will be able to pop your malted recovery beverage (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LAce1jH4OmE) at which moment you will say “you took the words right out of my mouth”.

Oh yes. Bat Out of Hell. What a big, bombastic, brilliant album. Bought it when I came out but this track mystified me for many years: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C11MzbEcHlw

Because a) I was Scottish, b) 14, c) didn't know who Phil Rizzuto was, and d) was completely confused by the insertion of baseball commentary.

The album was also awesome because Ellen Foley sang the female parts. (I don't think that's her in the video,. she was blonde)

"What's it gonna be boy, yes or no?"
Philonius says:

Apr 19 2016 at 10:39 am

Is that a young Felice Gimondi staring at Il Championissimo?
Buck Rogers says:

Apr 19 2016 at 11:07 am

@KogaLover

@wiscot

Oh shite, I think that this thread has jumped the shark already if we are going into the virtues of Meatloaf!
wiscot says:

Apr 19 2016 at 11:41 am

@Buck Rogers

@KogaLover

@wiscot

Oh shite, I think that this thread has jumped the shark already if we are going into the virtues of Meatloaf!

Well, you could reconfigure the conversation in Paradise by the Dashboard Light into a scenario where a man is looking in a bike shop window, lusting after a new steed for the stable, while his fiancee stands beside him. The object of his desire is a fully restored early 1980s ruby red Colnago (akin to Giuseppe Saronni's 1982 steed) in his size. Acquisition would put him in the S-1 category. In this context, the "conversation" featured in the song makes perfect sense. He has a choice to make. As in the song, he makes the wrong one and instantly regrets it.

BTW, according to wikipedia, BOOH has sold 43 million copies.
Dave says:

Apr 19 2016 at 2:24 pm

"Jumped the Shark"...

https://video.search.yahoo.com/video/play;_ylt=A2KLqISZoRZX634Ab5IsnIlQ;_ylu=X3oDMTByZWc0dGJtBHNlYwNzcgRzbGsDdmlkBHZ0aWQDBGdwb3MDMQ--?p=fonzie+jumping+the+shark&vid=970b0e8cd4f3f6b1e03919ad7900d660&turl=http%3A%2F%2Ftse1.mm.bing.net%2Fth%3Fid%3DOVP.V6ee0de1394583b59882c4e2aa1903c66%26pid%3D15.1%26h%3D225%26w%3D300%26c%3D7%26rs%3D1&rurl=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3Dt4ZGKI8vpcg&tit=Fonzie+Jumps+the+Shark+on+Happy+Days+%28Episode+5.3%29+1977&c=0&h=225&w=300&l=141&sigr=11bjksbbn&sigt=11nfth55a&sigi=131vchjoc&age=1331652479&fr2=p%3As%2Cv%3Av&fr=yhs-mozilla-001&hsimp=yhs-001&hspart=mozilla&tt=b
Sparty says:

Apr 19 2016 at 2:48 pm

@frank

It isn't glamorous when the sun is shining, but it is a necessity to ride your rollers in prep for your Hour attack. Leg speed/cadence, smoother stroke, and a constant power output are all very measurable and will pay dividends come your attempt. However, the immeasurable benefit will be the mental training you reap from two hour sessions on the rollers. You will experience very deep and dark moments that very few can ignore. Here is a link to help you quantify your time on the rollers vs. the road. It should make that suffering a bit easier knowing that for every 60 minutes on the rollers is equal to 90 or 100 minutes on the road. Good luck and Godspeed. http://home.trainingpeaks.com/blog/article/your-indoor-trainer-to-use-but-not-abuse
Phillip Mercer says:

Apr 19 2016 at 3:30 pm

Um, why would rain stop one from riding?
universo says:

Apr 19 2016 at 6:54 pm

@Phillip Mercer

Um, why would rain stop one from riding?

Rain just might be one's El Guapo!
PT says:

Apr 21 2016 at 5:03 am

@Frank

I'm not much into rollers or Meatloaf (the musician; the one my mum makes is Fantastic) but I do greatly enjoy your Use of Capitals. Linguistically, it is Probably Genius.
chuckp says:

Apr 21 2016 at 6:13 am

Anyone besides me ever seen Meatloaf in concert?