Rule 28: Dissenting Opinion

Submitted Evidence "A" photo credit © Chris Protopapas

Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long.  If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”

You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.

I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.

Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.

Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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  • Listen boys, here here. I know I am late in coming, but unless your like Cipo above, none of us can pull off what PRO's do. The perpetual arguements to wear or not to wear, this is the question: 'white socks/white shoes' or 'black socks...and...anything'.

    by the way, kudos to Gianni for making the case, you do your side very well, but I must hold firm to my previously held beliefs that indeed black socks are worthy our wearing, thus I agree w/Routier on this and micheal. Here are just a few reasons for my firmly held conviction on such a serious subject.

    1. Weather does dictate some common sense, does it not? Fine, apply your rule V in white socks, and your a little less cool when your arrive' home looking like you just sharted all over your socks. If you return pristine, you aint riding...its ONE or the other. Ride in black, mud or muck and mire...is...just...fine

    2. Its like wearing white bibs...not cool, unless your like the last rider i saw ride in the rain w/that one, and his red chamois looked like he was on his period..common, black...its the new white.

    3. IF...and only IF you arrive at the start, dressed PRO in white socks, silver shoes, you DAMN better be ready to sprint to every stoplight, cause you will be expected to back it. Roule up in black, there are no expectations friends...your old afterall. Now, black socks beating white socks...hmm...now your old and fast.

    4. Cav's a midget, point taken, his socks don't matter and he is the reason many masturbate and don't procreate. My wife is getting over a rabid sinus infection and was blowing stuff out of her head that looked like Cavs green socks...and PRO or not, one should never have socks that color. Its just wrong.

    5. Pantani can do what he wants, he's immortalized forever

  • I prefer the dark grey color of DeFeet's standard wool sock, for all weather conditions. Paired with my black sidis (though I wouldn't mind a white pair...).

  • What a bunch of metro-sexuals! Run what ya brung (says the guy with many pairs of variously coloured socks)...

  • Gianni, you put forward an excellent point of view. As a serial lurker here, I have seen all type of reverence toward the rules displayed.
    However, does sock colour actually matter? If you are laying down masses of V and dishing out the hurt to those wearing pristine white socks of acceptable length, what does the colour of the socks matter?
    I note in Rule 33, that the guns must be shaved, BUT if not, then be prepared to dish out the hurt. Can we not have a similar understanding on socks?

  • @mattb

    This is almost a call for anarchy. Lets have a simillar clause on every rule! Lets all wear rayban Aviators with mountain bike helmets. Sure if you can dish out the hurt leave your legs hairy. Wear black socks. Hell why not baggy shorts and ride a recumbent. God damn it being able to heap out the V should not be a licence to dress however you please! Standards and decorum count! Does sock colour matter?? Does it matter? Hell yeah it matters!

  • Steampunk - Ah ha ha, thank goodness Vinnie hasn't gotten me yet. I do love white boots for futbol, also always wore white cleats/turfs during my 14 years of lacrosse, and my road shoes are one white pair, one silver.

    Sorry, I just dig white shoes. However, I have never, ever taken a dive in my life. I actually think all the diving pros do hurts the popularity of soccer.

    Just don't tell Vinnie where I live.

  • @frank

    For a man who can afford a Cervelo rain bike, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you can afford another Planet Bike light. Now I don't mean to go on about it, but I had the red/white and I guess it's on the smashed bike which the sheriff still has, but I replaced it with the black/white light and it really looks nice on the bike hanging on the wall. One of those little things that makes all the difference in the world.

  • @paolo

    @mattb
    This is almost a call for anarchy. Lets have a simillar clause on every rule! Lets all wear rayban Aviators with mountain bike helmets. Sure if you can dish out the hurt leave your legs hairy. Wear black socks. Hell why not baggy shorts and ride a recumbent. God damn it Does it matter? Hell yeah it matters!

    Sounds like what would happen if the keepers ever cut loose in Vegas. (that they never, ever talk about)

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