Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long. If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”
You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.
I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.
Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.
Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.
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@paolo
Sorry old mate, I didn't write the addenum to Rule #33 about making sure you can dish out the hurt if you choose not to shave the guns - it's there. Was just posing a scenario for a similar addenum for sock colour. Was just a thought.
Steampunk - NOoooo! Damn, I do have a backup pair of boots in black, might have to dig them out.
Souleur - "4. Cav's a midget, point taken, his socks don't matter and he is the reason many masturbate and don't procreate. My wife is getting over a rabid sinus infection and was blowing stuff out of her head that looked like Cavs green socks...and PRO or not, one should never have socks that color. Its just wrong."
Woah now! Some of us are the same size as that Manxman. Socks aside, I think ya'll are just jealous of our wee-yet-light-and-stiff frames, plus our normal looking head tubes. Don't be hatin' on the sub-175 centi lads! (though his style choices do leave something to be desired)
WHat bout gray. It's not my fault, I was placing an online order and for a few dollars more I would get free shipping. So I got a pair of $10 cycling socks. $10 for one pair of socks and they were on sale!!! That's crazy right? like spending $500 on a bottle of wineBut I was blinded by the lure of free shipping. Blinded also to the fact that they were ugly as sin. Everytime I wear them I am made aware that I am a fashion moron. But hey they have a lifetime warranty.
my ugly ass expensive socks
@Harminator
It was nice having you around! Be very, very scared if you ever visit Ireland.
@frank
Every time Frank posts a pick of his bike with that "yard o'seat pin" I keep thinking he must be 8' tall and have arms 4' long. It's just not normal, I tell ya . . .
@Nof Landrien
I kinda agree here. White shoes = white socks. Black shoes = white or black socks. Shorts only? white at all times. Knee warmers/knicks, black, because if it's that cold/chilly, you shouldn't wear whire shoes.
@Steampunk
The Newcastle player is Paul Gascoigne. I'm sure the tosser deserved what he got.
@Steampunk
Possibly deserved it. One he's wearing trainers. Two, he's a ginger. Three, Vinnie's playing for Leeds. That's a license to be a merciless bastard. For evidence see the film The Damned United.
@DDD
Thank fuck most of those are covered by the shoes. The socks should have been free, not the shipping.
@ron
hey, no hater here, my wife is 4'10", i love little people
you struck what a cord w/what I like to give Cav a hard time about, style & class. But hey, give him credit where it is due, he is making it over mtns that before his tender hymen couldn't take