Rule 28: Dissenting Opinion

Submitted Evidence "A" photo credit © Chris Protopapas

Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long.  If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”

You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.

I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.

Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.

Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • @jojo

    Cycling socks, no matter what colour, are dorky looking. And that is the cold hard truth. While totally dorky, they can be quite comfy. So I say go ahead, where whatever colour socks you like, this isn't the Milan runway ;)

    Dorky is a bit harsh? Awesomeness has to start somewhere, bottom up - shoes-socks-knicks-etc. This is where Rule #2 has to step in before the damage is done.

  • A duathlon? So now three things are too hard for them to do? I'm hearing more and more people casually mention doing a try-athlon. "Wow, that guy seems kind of big to do that. And he is smoking and drinking quite a lot of tequila." Then it turns out they're doing 1/58th of a full one. Jeez! Those are not the same. You can't say it as if you're doing the real deal.

    And am I the only one getting annoyed with runners running the wrong way AND taking up a lane? I see it more and more around here, especially out on country roads. Drivers hardly give me two measly feet of shoulder but these joggers think they can take up a lane?! When there is a nice, wide, grassy shoulder? On Sunday I saw a guy doing this within city limits, though there is both a sidewalk and a jogging trail around the uni campus, which was one block over. It pisses me off how much respect pedestrians and joggers get, but we get squat since we involve a machine? Or they just don't like adults on kid toys? I don't know, but joggers are treated by drivers like saintly gifts bestowed upon us while we put up with constant near-misses.

    This sleeveless top is making my shoulders cold.

  • xyxax - I meant to say, "Oh wow, those are great photos! Those folks really look like they know how to have a good time!"

  • @Marko
    @scaler911

    In the end, it is the children that suffer. My two little girls were present, bearing witness. There's no medicine that cures that kind of trauma.

    @Ron
    Duathlon encouragement is my secret plan to convert my wife from runner to road cyclist. She was really disappointed with her cycling and realizes she needs a bike upgrade; a 2012 CAAD 10 WSD 48cm tops her wish list at the moment.

  • @xyxax
    Thank Christ those pics load really small. Minimized the trauma. This is why we have rules and standards - we are not tri-athletes.

  • @xyxax

    @Marko
    @scaler911
    In the end, it is the children that suffer. My two little girls were present, bearing witness. There's no medicine that cures that kind of trauma.

    HA!

  • @ marko:
    Cipo, in the height of his narcissism & exhibitionism (which he backed up btw) overlooked the 'little' things evidently

    Has this been Eddy, he would have made cipo look overdresseds as Eddy would not have even needed shoes; he would have just clipped his toes in and said 'lets rock'

  • @Pedale.Forchetta

    I'm with you Gianni, white is the way.
    Luckly is not the Texan that started the schism, look here.

    Is it compulsory for derny riders to have walrus moustaches - or was it just Belle Epoque Movember ?

    To be fair, the chain on the wrong side suggests that the artist may not have paid great attention to detail... or sock colour.

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