Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long. If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”
You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.
I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.
Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.
Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
@frank
Bloody nice ride!!! Getting tuned up for April, I see.
@Harminator
Yeah I love the yellow shoes. Just not with that kit.
I've never understood the practice of blurring out a license plate on the internet or tv. I mean if you are worried about people figuring out who you are and where you live, maybe you should keep the license plate covered up while you drive the car. I mean I could probably do a whois lookup if I wanted your address and phone number, cough cough.
@michael
Black shoes, black socks is too much black down there.
@michael
Why isn't the whole bike green, right down to the drivetrain, grease and the bearings?
@frank
That's what belgian booties are for. And does Washington State really have a cycling themed license plate?
@Steampunk
Little known fact: Kelly wore black socks but the dye got scared and drained out while on the first ride. POOF, 'white' socks after that.
@frank
Rotting leaf jizz? Aha! Perfect. All the trees here had a conference and decided to synchronize their annual leaf drop for this past week. First ride today with wet leaf shit all over the place. I too had to stop several times and remove all the crap using a leaf stem or stick. Damn annoying, especially the "VVVvvVVVVvvVVVvvv" noise as your wet tire rotates 'round against wet leaf gunk.
At risk of being hunted down and killed...the guns still look deadly n'est ce pas?
@frank
@michael
Its not so you can identify him. Its so we don't hang shit on him for the personalised plate. I am guessing it says something fucked and embarrassing like:
"IRIDE"
"QKRIDER"
"SYCLIST"
@marcus
You're both wrong. It's so the guy I stole that nice car from doesn't know who's got it. Oh, and you forgot one: QWK FNSHR
@Harminator
Yup. Still looks good.
@frank
Why would anyone get a vanity plate publicizing such a deficiency?