Rule 28: Dissenting Opinion

Submitted Evidence "A" photo credit © Chris Protopapas

Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long.  If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”

You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.

I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.

Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.

Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • I have traditionally been a "black shoes, white socks" kind of guy but slowly the tide has turned to where I became a "black shoes, black socks" kind of guy...

    But then I got the "Pepe Le Pews" and whilst in Seatle I found some Castelli socks in both black and white and while the PLP's" look totally awesome with white socks...

    ...they are equally as pimp with the black.

  • Race day kit and training kit. Thats all: Race kit/sunday best = white socks. Training days = other options will be tolerated.

    @Harminator

    @RedRanger
    Here we go. The counter points are coming.
    Black kit?

    Boss Hog has it wrong.
    Plus if you want your guns to look better - BUILD UP YOUR GUNS!
    Those Kelly legs would look Awesome in any socks. Period.

    That photo is wicked. Nothing could improve on that.

  • @frank
    Light on the bike? Really? It's a good thing you made up for it with XKCD. A regular part of my Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. How long has the great state of Washington been selling Lance license plates?

  • @Steampunk

    You damn well need a light on the bike in the PNW on a rainy day. The light levels are very low. However I would go with the white/black version of that light instead of the red/white. It looks the same from behind but looks much better from the side.

  • @mcsqueak
    I encountered some of that stuff this weekend. Also lodged the carcass of a salamander in my rear brake caliper. It's that time of year.

  • However looking at the photo, I think he was using it to signal the following heli.

  • @RedRanger

    @frank
    Why would anyone get a vanity plate publicizing such a deficiency?

    It means I can sprint, right? Why, what do you think it means?

    @Steampunk

    @frank
    Light on the bike? Really? It's a good thing you made up for it with XKCD. A regular part of my Monday, Wednesday, and Friday morning. How long has the great state of Washington been selling Lance license plates?

    Two lights, actually. That's a Fizik light clipped into the saddle, too. Plus the white one on the front. Plus, if it's really raining hard and low vis, I add one to the ends of both drops on my bars. You remember the PNW, right? Didn't you grow up here? That's the rain bike, by the way. All lights velcro on/off and leave nothing on the frame. All good.

    @michael

    @Steampunk
    You damn well need a light on the bike in the PNW on a rainy day. The light levels are very low. However I would go with the white/black version of that light instead of the red/white. It looks the same from behind but looks much better from the side.

    The white matched the graphics on the frame, but good suggestion anyway. If this one dies, I'll think about a black one. Planet bike makes the little velcro ones too that I have on the stem here, and I carry two more in my pocket (red) to strap onto the bars when it gets shittier than I expected. I was out a few weeks back with less than a 20m vis. It gets that way round these parts.

  • @Harminator

    @RedRanger
    Here we go. The counter points are coming.
    Black kit?

    Boss Hog has it wrong.
    Plus if you want your guns to look better - BUILD UP YOUR GUNS!
    Those Kelly legs would look Awesome in any socks. Period.

    I still think Boss Hog's socks and shoes are fine.

    @frank

    roads with so much rotting leaf jizz on it

    That is funny, I was laughing so much the Mrs asked what was so funny, so I read it to her...not as funny.

  • @frank

    I can't imagine needing more than that one Planet Bike light on the rear. I mean have you ever followed someone using one?

1 5 6 7 8 9 22
Share
Published by
Gianni

Recent Posts

Anatomy of a Photo: Sock & Shoe Game

I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Men’s World Championship Road Race 2017

Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Women’s World Championship Road Race 2017

The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Vuelta a España 2017

Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…

7 years ago

Velominati Super Prestige: Clasica Ciclista San Sebastian 2017

This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…

7 years ago

Route Finding

I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…

7 years ago