Rule 28: Dissenting Opinion

Submitted Evidence "A" photo credit © Chris Protopapas

Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long.  If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”

You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.

I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.

Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.

Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

View Comments

  • Whatever happened to the gayfully colored Zinc Oxide look? Am I the only one still rocking this style in the Summer?

  • @frank

    @John of Denbigh

    I have also ordered various pieces of kit and apparel at the shop I am buying the bike from and will soon be the proud owner of some half decent cycling gear and something worth riding.

    If it's got two wheels, its worth riding! Well, two wheels and a single Saddle.

    A+1 Thanks Frank. Can't wait to get it.

    JoD

  • When I'm road cycling I wear white or nearly white socks (they look nearly white to me, the manufacturer calls them silver). White shoes or my silver Ergo 2 slippers. When I ride cross I go with black shoes, black socks, better for the mud and grime.

    I wear "tall" socks because I have a serious case of skankles and while my guns overall aren't bad, my lower legs are sad. I've played sports my entire life and nothing, not even 5+ years of high kilometer cycling can change them. I cover them up as a sign of respect for any Velominati I might see while out!

  • Black socks are OK when teamed with miserable weather and knee warmers.

    (This is partly because white socks don't stay that way after a couple of hours of road grime and I can't ever seem to stop them being grey afterward, including using all sorts of industrial strength bleach.)

    Black socks look best of all when teamed with miserable weather, knee warmers and shoe covers that cover up black socks completely.

    Black socks look ridiculous when worn with shorts/no knee warmers.

    I have kind of grown to like the longer sock look, I think they make one's guns look leaner.

  • I have just acquired several pairs of these - which I could equally well post in the Andre Tchmil thread.

    And speaking of ankle-wear can I also note in the main photo, difficult though it is to look past the Prophet, that the policeman is wearing some very natty spats.

    Personally I think the downfall of western civilisation will eventually be traced back to the demise of spats, hats and powdered wigs.

  • @Nof Landrien

    And I think black shoes look awful.

    I agree! I love white shoes, always wore white cleats when playing other sports and still wear white soccer cleats. (I do have some silver cycling shoes.)

    I still gasp when I look down and see black shoes when I'm cx riding, but hey, it just makes more sense when riding off road. I'm not wiping my white cx shoes down after every ride.

    And on this note, white bar tape looks PRO, but not when dirty. If you are going to use it, keep it clean. If not, go black. I don't understand why people run white bar tape on a cx bike. Just going to get fucked up instantly. Dirty white tape looks decidedly un-PRO.

  • @All its an interesting point but my personal feeling on it is that co-ordination is met through order. The picture for the article shows a White/Black/White/Black order from shirt to shorts to socks to shoes. For sure I aspire to one day be that organised and pay that much attention to detail, but alas that day is not yet here. I pretty much always go for black shorts/bib shorts when out, i am getting a couple of pairs of wool shorts soon. The shirts depend on how I am feeling but I got my black wool cannibal shirt from soigneur,

    my really nice green weils wool shirt from vintage velo

    as well as some other cheaper and general purpose shirts (non team editions), I have a pair of white shoes and also my father is sending me a pair of limited edition sidi's he got that were too big which i am a little tentative about as I am sure they are gold or something like that!!

    However, when I really think about all those times I go out for a ride normally I am in such a rush to get out the door and on the bike after thinking about it all day at work that I usually grab whatever is quickest to hand and charge out the front door down the two flights of stairs from my apartment and off into the wild.

  • @Harminator
    aye i agree Cav's learning there was this tweet shortly after the worlds

    "So black shorts with World Champ stripes is illegal. I can only use white ones with the stripes. ABSOLUTE NO! I will use my team shorts."

    I don't understand why the UCI are such retentive bastards, suppose it's in their nature

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