Rule #28: “White is old school cool. Black is cool too, but were given a bad image by a Texan whose were too long. If you feel you must go colored, make sure they damn well match your kit.”
You bet white is old school and for good reason, it is the only color of cycling socks that is truly acceptable. Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what color did Merckx wear? What color did Jesus wear in his all-too-short cycling career, Kelly, Coppi, Rik Van Steenbergen, Rik Van Looy, I could go on and on. Not one of them have worn anything but white socks. Years back, black shorts were a regulation of the cyclist’s uniform. It may have not occurred to people to try other colors but black shorts were the only allowed color. Perhaps white socks fell under the same regulations; I’ll let @Oli answer that question. Black socks, god damn it people, are not cool, maybe on a mountain bike while getting wicked air, but not in the world of road riding.
I’m obviously outnumbered by the other Keepers here or the Rule would be three words, “Socks are white.” Every one of the Keeper’s executive board meetings seems to end with me drunkenly banging the table, paraphrasing Bones, “In the name of humanity, Jim, Rule #28 must be revised,” as I slowly slide off my chair and disappear under the table into a puddle of my own sick.
Only in the last fifteen years have the standards been lowered and now it’s a total confusion of bad taste. Again I implore the jury, have we no pride in our guns? A tanned, shaved, well-honed gun can only be properly punctuated by a white sock. Granted the sock pool has become so fouled it’s nearly impossible to even find all-white socks so I won’t be an absolutists (cognoscenti?) but please, mostly white. I won’t even argue length, I find tall socks (Wiggo tall) an abomination but I guess that shows how damn old I am.
Let’s reverse the trend. We have wasted too much energy worrying about podium caps when not many of us are on the podium yet each and every day we ride we make a decision about our socks. If you want to look Pro, get in the know, have a sack, don’t wear black. Write your local Keeper and make your position known.
I know as well as any of you that I've been checked out lately, kind…
Peter Sagan has undergone quite the transformation over the years; starting as a brash and…
The Women's road race has to be my favorite one-day road race after Paris-Roubaix and…
Holy fuckballs. I've never been this late ever on a VSP. I mean, I've missed…
This week we are currently in is the most boring week of the year. After…
I have memories of my life before Cycling, but as the years wear slowly on…
View Comments
Holy chit! I'll get my ruler out and measure my effin socks and get back to you. I would argue that it's not the measure of the socks or the shorts. It's the measure of the tan line between. In short, that area should be such that wearing anything less than your kit should be a signature to your commitment. That is to say that when you show up to the family picnic in flip flops, no one confuses you with a Candy Ass Triathilete.
Ummm, I'm in favor with high-as-all-get up wooleators. They indeed rule. Short socks be damned.
1) Of course it matters
2) length of sock shall be proportionate to the ratio of the length of the lower leg to the girth of the calf. In other words, stumpy, fat-asses riding their wives' Terry's need nice short ankle socks. Wiggo and Moreau (and WTH, COTHO) all need longer socks with Wiggo frankly just needing to cover the cachetic mess that are his lower legs.
3) black with black shoes, white with white shoes. Shoes shall complement the team kit. For example, FDJ riders should wear white or silver shoes, perhaps blue. Teams with predominantly black kits like the old Cervelo Test Team needed black shoes. If you have any black in your kit, you can do black shoes. If you have no black in your kit, no black shoes for you (Rabobank is a good example). Anything else is just a fashion faux-pas regardless of your badassedness quotient.
That should clear up all this bickering amongst you. Some people clearly have been listening to their fat, cankle-plagued, age group failing tri-geek friends. White ankle socks. Sheesh. What's next, a ban on Lycra and those new-fangled clipless pedals? ;-)
To each his own, but for me black socks are fine... it is in my opinion however, the only option other than white. My cyclocross kit is usually black shorts, black shoes and black socks. Crisp white socks are great for dry riding, especially in summer, but when the weather turns I usually run black. Oh, and for me it's only black shoes and shorts, minor logos and color trims are ok, but the blacker the better.
@Marcus
What, he's not waiting in line?
@Souleur
Why the hell did Cipo allow that pic to be taken in the little ring with the chainrings on the opposite side?
Watched my wife do a duathlon yesterday. From the photo gallery, I give you 2 (two) examples of sartorial malfeasance, here and, may god have mercy on our souls, here.
Damn my eyes, it loads the whole gallery. Go to photos 96/137 and 88/137.
They do seem happy.
@xyxax
What the fuck are you doing posting those links here man?!?! There are so many kinds of wrongs in those pics. Just the Rule 33 and Rule 82 violations alone are enough to make my eyes bleed. I.HATE.YOU.
IMG_1311.JPG