THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE. SOURCE: BRYN LENNON/GETTY IMAGES EUROPE)
The Road Cycling World Championships are on our doorstep. The USA is hosting, which makes me nervous immediately. How can we fuck this up? Ask Taylor Phinney for starters. This event has not been hosted by the USA since Moreno Argentin won in Colorado almost thirty years ago. We just don’t have the experience to pull off cycling events of this importance. The police are used to impeding cyclists, not protecting them.
But the Americans can’t win either the women’s or men’s road races simply because of the awful kit they have to wear. All V will be drained by the lameness of the jersey. The Rainbow Jersey would refuse to even slip on over such an abomination. Back in the day, Greg LeMan wore the Captain America jersey and won the World Championship at age 22. Going into the worlds as Captain America is a lot more powerful than whatever the hell this new design is. FFS, give these riders a chance. Representing your country in the World Championship should be a highlight of any cyclist’s career.
The Belgians, the Aussies, the Italians, The French: they all have jerseys that say we are here as a select, badass team and we are going to fuck you up. The American’s look like a trade team for a car dealership. It hurts. The Spanish might be in trouble too by the look of last year’s design and the fact they generally refuse to work at crunch time.
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Our club kit is an exact copy of the Belgian team jersey. In fact it was one of the reasons I joined them. Mind you I won't tell you the name of the club, or even the country, lest we get a 'cease and desist' letter from the Belgian Cycling Fed'!
Does the US kit come with a handgun holster and place to put your beef jerky chewing tobacco?
Belgium is, of course, the standard bearer.
Spain, Switzerland and Australia are all pretty crappy. Why has Switzerland have green on it?
NZ, well you can't go wrong with black. There's a referendum about to go down here for changing the national flag, which I'm all for. Australia needs to change too, they both look the same and are pretty much a Union Jack with a few stars chucked on.
What amazes me is, every NZ sporting team wears either black (or white) with a Silver Fern logo, yet people are crying foul because a couple of the flag designs have a bloody fern on them! The same people who'll go to the rugby/cricket/Keepers Tour and wave a fucking black/silver fern flag.
Quite a few laughable (the good way) bits in there, @Gianni. I think the Belgian kit is the finest of them all. Just look at Lotto Soudal. And those Ridleys, me oh my. Leave it to the Belgians to come correct.
The USA is stuck in the "more is better" mindset. Two year election campaigns, big coffees, bigger meal servings, more guns, money and cars. Their jersey designs celebrate this excess. All the colours, all the stars, all the words.
- = + (less is more) ssshhhhh.
Lead photo AOP. Phil Gil thinks it's summer, looks Fantastic. Gerro thinks it's winter, looks 2 fat 2 climb.
Wow. That is terrible.
While not nearly as "fugly" as the USA Kit, Canada's kit appears to lack any distinguishing features. At least the bottoms are Rules compliant.
http://www.cyclingcanada.ca/sport/road/news/cycling-canada-announces-road-world-championships-team/
The should have stuck with the Pan-Am kit.
http://www.louisgarneau.com/img/thm/t495_SlidePanAm_B2C_Eng.jpg
@Matt
The Belgian kit is, as far as I know, unchanged since the Merckx era. It has always looked fantastic. Eddy having won in it didn't hurt.
The Italian one, all blue, it very classy and understated for the Italians. They might have gone for some over the top white, green and red mash up.
@Harminator
The designer of the USA kit can't be a cyclist. It must be some fucking advertising person who is worried about the USA brand. Grrrrrr. Where are my pills?
@DeKerr
USA needs a Canadian, specifically, Winnipeg Cycle Chick to design some USA kit in the future. Man do we need a change.