Categories: EtiquetteRantings from the V-Bunker

Team USA: Doomed From The Start

THIS IS HOW IT'S DONE. SOURCE: BRYN LENNON/GETTY IMAGES EUROPE)

The Road Cycling World Championships are on our doorstep. The USA is hosting, which makes me nervous immediately. How can we fuck this up? Ask Taylor Phinney for starters. This event has not been hosted by the USA since Moreno Argentin won in Colorado almost thirty years ago. We just don’t have the experience to pull off cycling events of this importance. The police are used to impeding cyclists, not protecting them.

But the Americans can’t win either the women’s or men’s road races simply because of the awful kit they have to wear. All V will be drained by the lameness of the jersey. The Rainbow Jersey would refuse to even slip on over such an abomination. Back in the day, Greg LeMan wore the Captain America jersey and won the World Championship at age 22. Going into the worlds as Captain America is a lot more powerful than whatever the hell this new design is. FFS, give these riders a chance. Representing your country in the World Championship should be a highlight of any cyclist’s career.

The Belgians, the Aussies, the Italians, The French: they all have jerseys that say we are here as a select, badass team and we are going to fuck you up. The American’s look like a trade team for a car dealership. It hurts. The Spanish might be in trouble too by the look of last year’s design and the fact they generally refuse to work at crunch time.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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View Comments

LeoTea says:

Sep 19 2015 at 8:16 am

Not the best looking kit. Considering Talansky was looking pretty sharp in his national TT jersey at the Tour this year.

http://cdn.media.cyclingnews.com/2015/07/04/2/pic544822362_670.jpg
Haldy says:

Sep 19 2015 at 9:53 am

@frank

@sthilzy

After seeing LeMan’s WC’s, I always thought said kit would be the Status Quo for USA;

Rebecca Twigg, the focus of my first pant-busting crush.

Ohh..if that's the case can I assume you have this poster up somewhere like I still do?
ccos says:

Sep 19 2015 at 10:46 am

@frank

@sthilzy

After seeing LeMan’s WC’s, I always thought said kit would be the Status Quo for USA;

Rebecca Twigg, the focus of my first pant-busting crush.

She was/is a hoss. In the late 80's I was on a training ride with her and had to hang on for dear life when she put the hammer down (to drop some assholes who thought it cute to pinch her on the backside). Merckxy-me she's fast.
Gianni says:

Sep 19 2015 at 12:08 pm

Two TT teams have had bad crashes because of potholes on the course. American infrastructure at its best. It would have taken too much thought and effort to fix that kind of thing before hand. This is why I rant.
The Engine says:

Sep 19 2015 at 1:08 pm

@Neil

Our club kit is an exact copy of the Belgian team jersey. In fact it was one of the reasons I joined them. Mind you I won’t tell you the name of the club, or even the country, lest we get a ‘cease and desist’ letter from the Belgian Cycling Fed’!

Glasgow Nightingale?
The Engine says:

Sep 19 2015 at 1:13 pm

@Haldy

@frank

@sthilzy

After seeing LeMan’s WC’s, I always thought said kit would be the Status Quo for USA;

Rebecca Twigg, the focus of my first pant-busting crush.

Ohh..if that’s the case can I assume you have this poster up somewhere like I still do?

My eyesight is fading - I thought it said "minge" on those helmets
RobSandy says:

Sep 19 2015 at 1:31 pm

@The Engine

@Haldy

@frank

@sthilzy

After seeing LeMan’s WC’s, I always thought said kit would be the Status Quo for USA;

Rebecca Twigg, the focus of my first pant-busting crush.

Ohh..if that’s the case can I assume you have this poster up somewhere like I still do?

My eyesight is fading – I thought it said “minge” on those helmets

To offer you some support - I thought exactly the same thing and was about to post to say so.
piwakawaka says:

Sep 19 2015 at 6:09 pm

@Gianni

Two TT teams have had bad crashes because of potholes on the course. American infrastructure at its best. It would have taken too much thought and effort to fix that kind of thing before hand. This is why I rant.

FFS, I can't believe you guys didn't re-lay the entire TT course, it's only 38km, not the road race course mind, a variety of surfaces is more than acceptable in road racing, but make TT's all about speed.
Gianni says:

Sep 19 2015 at 7:10 pm

@The Engine

@RobSandy

Who is the blond minge amongst the helmets?
brett says:

Sep 19 2015 at 8:26 pm

@Oli

@brett

I love the All Blacks but I don’t want their logo as my national emblem.

You might be shit out of luck there mate...

Surely it's more than an All Blacks logo though? Anything but a fucking Union Jack.