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The Color White

Boonen in his final Paris-Roubaix

I saw the Black Crowes in concert some years ago, and as the band swung into their first number, Chris Robinson casually strolled onstage wearing head to toe white sequins. Later in the show, he remarked that nothing quite makes you feel like a virgin like wearing white.

The color white is indeed a bold statement. A white house declares to the neighborhood that the homeowners are committed to give nature the what-for and keep it pristine at all times. Similarly, the Cyclist who wears white declares that they are willing to take their chances against road grime, despite effectively turning themselves into a human mudflap.

White is like hanging a “Kick Me” sign on Nature.

I personally find it irresistible. White bar tape and socks, even on a bike I expect to get dirty, is a must. I do admit to going through phases where I’ll experiment with black or orange socks or bar tape like a temperamental tween experimenting with talking back to their parents. But I always find myself irrevocably drawn back to white.

When I was 13, I bought my first Selle San Marco Regal saddle in perforated white leather. (I promptly crashed on it). It matched my Scott Drop-Ins which were wrapped in white Benotto bar tape, as well as the white spatters on my early Nineties paintjob. It was many years later before I bought myself some White Ladies. And to be fair, as much as I love my Orange Damsels, there is nothing like a clean, white pair of socks matched to a clean, white pair of shoes. Just ask Tom Boonen.

White sunglasses are a must as well, and after a short foray from the path, I’m back on the white helmet program. White jerseys tend to look sharper than their dark counterparts (assuming your physical qualities don’t require the slimming effect of black.) I’m on a quest for a white bike, but people seem loathe to make me one, as they are apparently unlucky. (I’m going for the next best thing: silver sparkles.)

White is bold and requires a concerted effort to ensure one keeps it pristine, but it pays you back by Looking incomparably Fantastic. It seems the only place where white doesn’t look better is on bibshorts. Go figure.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

slatanic says:

Jun 15 2017 at 3:53 am
Teocalli says:

Jun 15 2017 at 4:17 am

@slatanic

0

Cool - is that Goyt Valley perchance?
slatanic says:

Jun 15 2017 at 4:34 am

@Teocalli

No, close though.. :) Its heading up the Gap Of Dunloe outside Killarney; heading for the Black Valley. It was for the 30th anniversary of the Nissan Classic in 2015
Teocalli says:

Jun 15 2017 at 5:17 am

@slatanic

@Teocalli No, close though.. :) Its heading up the Gap Of Dunloe outside Killarney; heading for the Black Valley. It was for the 30th anniversary of the Nissan Classic in 2015

1

Nice
Buck Rogers says:

Jun 15 2017 at 8:17 am

@slatanic

@Teocalli No, close though.. :) Its heading up the Gap Of Dunloe outside Killarney; heading for the Black Valley. It was for the 30th anniversary of the Nissan Classic in 2015

2

Brilliant! Abso-fucking-lutely BRILLIANT!!! I must ride this once I have my '85 Hinault!!!
universo says:

Jun 15 2017 at 8:25 pm

@Cary

this bike is completely outstanding. i think the MX Leader ranks as the finest steel frame ever seen in the pro peloton. i like it better than the Colbago Master.

cue music - I just can’t seem to get enough - Depeche Mode. I'll need to make an effort to find yous Velominati out at this year's Cogal somewhere -- a meeting of the machines
Ron says:

Jun 21 2017 at 11:15 am

Was playing some futbol last evening when a guy rode by on a nice bike in some classy kit. I couldn't stop staring and the other team scored on us (I was playing in the back), I didn't let on what distracted me, in order to keep hidden the depths of my cycling obsessed from the footballers.

It was so refreshing! I either see folks in boring basic kit or totally outrageous clown college stuff. I'm already dreaming of churning out the KMs this weekend and looking down to see my white shoes and white socks. (Then again, a tropical storm is coming this way, so might have to go for less virginal gear).
chuckp says:

Jun 22 2017 at 6:07 am

@Ron

I love the FDJ kit, no matter what color bibs. AND, I like the AG2R kit as well. F the boring all black or black and white kits. So many ugly ones out there. Red and black are ugly too.

0

I'm with you on the FDJ kit. And the AG2R kit has grown on me over time.
RobSandy says:

Jun 22 2017 at 7:22 am

@chuckp

@Ron

I love the FDJ kit, no matter what color bibs. AND, I like the AG2R kit as well. F the boring all black or black and white kits. So many ugly ones out there. Red and black are ugly too.

0

I’m with you on the FDJ kit. And the AG2R kit has grown on me over time.

0

I will add my voice in solidarity. I like the AG2R kit.

Wouldn't it be nice if Bardet won the Tour?
wiscot says:

Jun 22 2017 at 9:33 am

@RobSandy

@chuckp

@Ron

I love the FDJ kit, no matter what color bibs. AND, I like the AG2R kit as well. F the boring all black or black and white kits. So many ugly ones out there. Red and black are ugly too.

0

I’m with you on the FDJ kit. And the AG2R kit has grown on me over time.

0

I will add my voice in solidarity. I like the AG2R kit. Wouldn’t it be nice if Bardet won the Tour?

0

Hear, hear gentlemen! Nice to see some sanity around these parts when it comes to pro kit I like the AG2R and FDJ kits a lot. They tweak them each year, but they stay essentially the same. The current Jumbo kit is a shocker - and not in a good way. EQS is always good. Sunweb is ok but the old B&W Giant kit was a classic. Sky? Boring. Astana? Boring.