Categories: Awesome Belgian GuysEtiquetteExportLa Vie VelominatusLook Pro

The Color White

Boonen in his final Paris-Roubaix

I saw the Black Crowes in concert some years ago, and as the band swung into their first number, Chris Robinson casually strolled onstage wearing head to toe white sequins. Later in the show, he remarked that nothing quite makes you feel like a virgin like wearing white.

The color white is indeed a bold statement. A white house declares to the neighborhood that the homeowners are committed to give nature the what-for and keep it pristine at all times. Similarly, the Cyclist who wears white declares that they are willing to take their chances against road grime, despite effectively turning themselves into a human mudflap.

White is like hanging a “Kick Me” sign on Nature.

I personally find it irresistible. White bar tape and socks, even on a bike I expect to get dirty, is a must. I do admit to going through phases where I’ll experiment with black or orange socks or bar tape like a temperamental tween experimenting with talking back to their parents. But I always find myself irrevocably drawn back to white.

When I was 13, I bought my first Selle San Marco Regal saddle in perforated white leather. (I promptly crashed on it). It matched my Scott Drop-Ins which were wrapped in white Benotto bar tape, as well as the white spatters on my early Nineties paintjob. It was many years later before I bought myself some White Ladies. And to be fair, as much as I love my Orange Damsels, there is nothing like a clean, white pair of socks matched to a clean, white pair of shoes. Just ask Tom Boonen.

White sunglasses are a must as well, and after a short foray from the path, I’m back on the white helmet program. White jerseys tend to look sharper than their dark counterparts (assuming your physical qualities don’t require the slimming effect of black.) I’m on a quest for a white bike, but people seem loathe to make me one, as they are apparently unlucky. (I’m going for the next best thing: silver sparkles.)

White is bold and requires a concerted effort to ensure one keeps it pristine, but it pays you back by Looking incomparably Fantastic. It seems the only place where white doesn’t look better is on bibshorts. Go figure.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next Weekend Competition: The Hardmen »

Previous « The Hardmen: Legends of the Cycling Gods

View Comments

chuckp says:

Jun 9 2017 at 4:46 am

@frank

Loves me that Hollands. Please, PLEASE post us a pick of the 90’s-style STI/DT combo?

Here are a few pics from the PEZ Readers' Rigs where it was featured. I think I may have posted these previously (a while ago) in The Bikes. I'll see if I have any other pics on my computer at home that specifically highlight the STI/DT combo.

BTW, since these were taken, I changed the stem/bars (Ritchey with a little more rise and modern compact bars) and black bar tape (because that's what I had lying around). I think I'm going to go back to the stem/bars in the pic (PRO and ITM) and white bar tape.
Teocalli says:

Jun 9 2017 at 5:12 am

@chuckp

@frank

Is your wife wearing a sleeveless jersey? Two demerits.

Rule #99 – WAGs who ride get to do whatever they please because you should be so fortunate to have a significant other who doesn’t resent that you ride.

That said, here’s a pic of my wife from a coffee ride we did a few weekends ago.

I guess we should be balanced and non sexist and also have HABs?
chuckp says:

Jun 9 2017 at 5:27 am

@Teocalli

I guess we should be balanced and non sexist and also have HABs?

I'm fine with that. I have friends who have those too.
wiscot says:

Jun 9 2017 at 5:39 am

@chuckp

@frank

Is your wife wearing a sleeveless jersey? Two demerits.

Rule #99 – WAGs who ride get to do whatever they please because you should be so fortunate to have a significant other who doesn’t resent that you ride.

That said, here’s a pic of my wife from a coffee ride we did a few weekends ago.

I'll agree with you that having a SO who rides is a wonderful thing Chuck, but is that a Mellow Johnny's jersey she's wearing?
chuckp says:

Jun 9 2017 at 5:51 am

@wiscot

I’ll agree with you that having a SO who rides is a wonderful thing Chuck, but is that a Mellow Johnny’s jersey she’s wearing?

Yes, it is. Bought on a visit to Austin many, many moons ago well before the Lance fell from grace. I was never a big Lance fan, but my wife and daughter were. My wife no longer is (and my daughter was crushed), but for whatever reason she likes to wear the jersey. Presumably because it's comfortable. Like I said ... WAGs who ride are allowed to do whatever they want. Far be it from me to give her shit about it.
Ron says:

Jun 9 2017 at 7:14 am

Goddamn, how timely, as always! I recently made a commitment to keep the kit simple, as much as I like bright colors. All white shoes, all white socks, black bibs (of course) and simple jerseys, with a black or white helmet and black or white shades.

I was walking my dogs yesterday evening when someone pedaled by on a bike, covered in all sorts of garish gear. It reaffirmed my commitment to classy kit. I have been morbidly noticing all the boutique kit makers pop up on the internet with dopey gear. But, it suddenly seems like bike riders in the real world are now sporting this stuff. I'm seeing more and more people riding on open roads who could pass for a circus clown. This is stirring my inner curmudgeon.

I never understood people wearing Surf Style jackets in the 90s and I don't understand people on bikes wearing a neon vomit massacre kit.
Ron says:

Jun 9 2017 at 7:20 am

As for music, first time I saw TOOL live, Maynard performed in black body paint and a black speedo, looking like a character out of their early videos. Bald head, covered in black paint, as was every bit of his skin.

I then saw him a few months later with A Perfect Circle. He performed behind a white sheet and "had" hair to his waist. He's one talented, oddball dude.
Teocalli says:

Jun 9 2017 at 7:32 am

Well I did see this chap in white and his partners live......
RobSandy says:

Jun 9 2017 at 8:04 am

@Teocalli

Well I did see this chap in white and his partners live……

Nope, don't know. Cool outfit though.
Teocalli says:

Jun 9 2017 at 9:31 am

@RobSandy

ELP