I saw the Black Crowes in concert some years ago, and as the band swung into their first number, Chris Robinson casually strolled onstage wearing head to toe white sequins. Later in the show, he remarked that nothing quite makes you feel like a virgin like wearing white.

The color white is indeed a bold statement. A white house declares to the neighborhood that the homeowners are committed to give nature the what-for and keep it pristine at all times. Similarly, the Cyclist who wears white declares that they are willing to take their chances against road grime, despite effectively turning themselves into a human mudflap.

White is like hanging a “Kick Me” sign on Nature.

I personally find it irresistible. White bar tape and socks, even on a bike I expect to get dirty, is a must. I do admit to going through phases where I’ll experiment with black or orange socks or bar tape like a temperamental tween experimenting with talking back to their parents. But I always find myself irrevocably drawn back to white.

When I was 13, I bought my first Selle San Marco Regal saddle in perforated white leather. (I promptly crashed on it). It matched my Scott Drop-Ins which were wrapped in white Benotto bar tape, as well as the white spatters on my early Nineties paintjob. It was many years later before I bought myself some White Ladies. And to be fair, as much as I love my Orange Damsels, there is nothing like a clean, white pair of socks matched to a clean, white pair of shoes. Just ask Tom Boonen.

White sunglasses are a must as well, and after a short foray from the path, I’m back on the white helmet program. White jerseys tend to look sharper than their dark counterparts (assuming your physical qualities don’t require the slimming effect of black.) I’m on a quest for a white bike, but people seem loathe to make me one, as they are apparently unlucky. (I’m going for the next best thing: silver sparkles.)

White is bold and requires a concerted effort to ensure one keeps it pristine, but it pays you back by Looking incomparably Fantastic. It seems the only place where white doesn’t look better is on bibshorts. Go figure.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @chuckp

    @wiscot

    I’ll agree with you that having a SO who rides is a wonderful thing Chuck, but is that a Mellow Johnny’s jersey she’s wearing?

    Yes, it is. Bought on a visit to Austin many, many moons ago well before the Lance fell from grace. I was never a big Lance fan, but my wife and daughter were. My wife no longer is (and my daughter was crushed), but for whatever reason she likes to wear the jersey. Presumably because it’s comfortable. Like I said … WAGs who ride are allowed to do whatever they want. Far be it from me to give her shit about it.

    Hmmmmm . . . I'd gently suggest she move it to the winter wardrobe - the kind of thing to wear on the turbo or the rollers indoors. OTOH, I well understand one has to pick one's battles and this might be best one to let go . . .

  • The 90's style bidon cages are mint, too. The finishing tape on the bar wrap, however, blows balls.

  • @frank

    The 90’s style bidon cages are mint, too. The finishing tape on the bar wrap, however, blows balls.

    0

    Yeah, have to agree with the Ciussi cages being rad.  @chuckp - you can find the full-width white electrical tape everywhere and the narrower multi-color packs have the deep royal blue that would work well with your downtube accent.  I haven't seen orange tape though... if I see some I'll message you.  BTW... I cut a narrow strip of that same dark blue tape to use as a height marker on my seat tube, and it's perfect.  Subtle, but if/when you do see it, at least it matches your color scheme.

  • @chuckp

    So the Hollands is just dripping class. And the Felt, you just know, has to be a sweet ride. So... which one is getting the most miles ? The modern C or the classic lugged steel ? I have a good buddy with a collection of classic Italian steel but it's his C Merckx that gets the miles.

    @litvi

    Wow ! When I get big I'm gonna get me something in Celeste. And if not a bike, then it'll be a Fender in Sea-foam Green. That's a sweet bike.

    @MangoDave

    And did you start this whole thread of awesome bikes ?!?

    @DoctorNurse

    I love black bikes. And have more than a few. That collection ? Makes me want a white one !  Well…not really. But I sure appreciate that room full of beauties for sure.

    Cheers all

     

  • @Randy C

     

    @litvi

    Wow ! When I get big I’m gonna get me something in Celeste. And if not a bike, then it’ll be a Fender in Sea-foam Green. That’s a sweet bike.

     

    0

    Thanks.  Back in the day it had a Selle Italia Flite like everyone was running, but I'm glad I eventually replaced it with that gorgeous tribute to Rule #61.  It's definitely a classic -- even more so with that Brooks -- and it rides like a dream.  I get a kick out of all the recent comments about "I almost broke 50 MPH once and I almost died" we've been seeing lately.  Hell, 80 km/Hr is just about where this thing finds the rails.  Getting past that shaky spell at 75 km/Hr and feeling this guy settle right in at 80, then riding that groove through 85-90 km/Hr descents? Talk about some fun shit.  Unfortunately I don't have any nearby descents long enough to hit 100, but I'll let y'all know if I ever earn my white silk scarf.*

    *A friend once told me to wear a white scarf on your motorcycle you have to earn it by breaking 100 MPH.  That could be a thing, or it could be bullshit; it sounds too good not to be true, so let's run with it.  Obviously for our purposes, we will need a threshold of 100 km/Hr instead. (Note: this is strictly because Rule #24 is insuperable; some boring math that demonstrates I will eventually stop going faster sounds dangerously like "science" or "fact" and as such it has no place here.)

  • @Phillip Mercer

    The only time I’ve dared to put white bar tape on the bike…

    0

    I'm with you.  I feel so pretentious putting white tape on my bike.  Of course, I am the de facto leader of my "Team of One" but still does not feel like I have perhaps earned the right to ride white tape.

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