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The Color White

Boonen in his final Paris-Roubaix

I saw the Black Crowes in concert some years ago, and as the band swung into their first number, Chris Robinson casually strolled onstage wearing head to toe white sequins. Later in the show, he remarked that nothing quite makes you feel like a virgin like wearing white.

The color white is indeed a bold statement. A white house declares to the neighborhood that the homeowners are committed to give nature the what-for and keep it pristine at all times. Similarly, the Cyclist who wears white declares that they are willing to take their chances against road grime, despite effectively turning themselves into a human mudflap.

White is like hanging a “Kick Me” sign on Nature.

I personally find it irresistible. White bar tape and socks, even on a bike I expect to get dirty, is a must. I do admit to going through phases where I’ll experiment with black or orange socks or bar tape like a temperamental tween experimenting with talking back to their parents. But I always find myself irrevocably drawn back to white.

When I was 13, I bought my first Selle San Marco Regal saddle in perforated white leather. (I promptly crashed on it). It matched my Scott Drop-Ins which were wrapped in white Benotto bar tape, as well as the white spatters on my early Nineties paintjob. It was many years later before I bought myself some White Ladies. And to be fair, as much as I love my Orange Damsels, there is nothing like a clean, white pair of socks matched to a clean, white pair of shoes. Just ask Tom Boonen.

White sunglasses are a must as well, and after a short foray from the path, I’m back on the white helmet program. White jerseys tend to look sharper than their dark counterparts (assuming your physical qualities don’t require the slimming effect of black.) I’m on a quest for a white bike, but people seem loathe to make me one, as they are apparently unlucky. (I’m going for the next best thing: silver sparkles.)

White is bold and requires a concerted effort to ensure one keeps it pristine, but it pays you back by Looking incomparably Fantastic. It seems the only place where white doesn’t look better is on bibshorts. Go figure.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

wiscot says:

Jun 9 2017 at 9:42 am

@Ron

Goddamn, how timely, as always! I recently made a commitment to keep the kit simple, as much as I like bright colors. All white shoes, all white socks, black bibs (of course) and simple jerseys, with a black or white helmet and black or white shades.

I was walking my dogs yesterday evening when someone pedaled by on a bike, covered in all sorts of garish gear. It reaffirmed my commitment to classy kit. I have been morbidly noticing all the boutique kit makers pop up on the internet with dopey gear. But, it suddenly seems like bike riders in the real world are now sporting this stuff. I’m seeing more and more people riding on open roads who could pass for a circus clown. This is stirring my inner curmudgeon.

I never understood people wearing Surf Style jackets in the 90s and I don’t understand people on bikes wearing a neon vomit massacre kit.

Amen brother. I go for the simple stuff. I'm not a member of a local club as so many of the jerseys are hideous. My last club (now defunct for many years) was the VC d'Or in Scotland. Our jersey was basically the Dutch national Champions jersey. Looked great and I still have a long-sleeved jersey from 1989 that sees regular use!
Buck Rogers says:

Jun 9 2017 at 12:10 pm

@Teocalli

@Buck Rogers

@Teocalli

@chuckp

@KogaLover

Just won an old, all black, Brancale Belgian hairnet off of the French ebay site for 45 euro. Looks to be in great shape and it was a large size. So hard to find them in large. Cannot wait to get it!

I think that we need to petition the Keepers to add a permanent Eroica thread/tab to the site as nothing screams old school Hardmen like Eroica to me. Talk about riding with ghosts and legends–nothing compares to the Eroica scene for that!

I’ll raise a glass and a mouse click to that suggestion.

I also just noticed that Eroica Limburg switched the ride to Saturday and have added an excursion on Sunday to Heri-Chapelle to see the TdF go by. Be interesting to see how many do that and whether the TV coverage picks up on a contingent in vintage gear cheering on the TdF.

Holy shit, Brother! Are you in for the full weekend??? That sounds amazing.
RobSandy says:

Jun 9 2017 at 1:06 pm

@Teocalli

@RobSandy

ELP

I wuz going to guess it was Greg Lake. I likes my prog, I do.
Teocalli says:

Jun 9 2017 at 1:12 pm

@Buck Rogers

Yup making a long weekend of it Thursday to Monday. Seems like it would be rude not to take up the Sunday opportunity - just need to break it with the VMW. "You know how we are going to have that weekend in NL and I was nipping out on one day for a wee ride, well...........".
Teocalli says:

Jun 9 2017 at 1:36 pm

@RobSandy

@Teocalli

@RobSandy

ELP

I wuz going to guess it was Greg Lake. I likes my prog, I do.

Saw ELP on the original Tarcus tour and the following year for Trilogy in the old Odeon in Newcastle on Tyne.
frank says:

Jun 9 2017 at 1:40 pm

@wiscot

@chuckp

@frank

Is your wife wearing a sleeveless jersey? Two demerits.

Rule #99 – WAGs who ride get to do whatever they please because you should be so fortunate to have a significant other who doesn’t resent that you ride.

That said, here’s a pic of my wife from a coffee ride we did a few weekends ago.

I’ll agree with you that having a SO who rides is a wonderful thing Chuck, but is that a Mellow Johnny’s jersey she’s wearing?

In my Cyclist column, someone once asked me if there were different Rules for women, or if they were exempt from some. (It was a woman who asked the questions.)

Like what Rules? Rule #5? No, the answer is no. WAG or otherwise, everyone is held to the same standard, @chuckp, you sexist pig. I judge everyone with the same disdain, irrespective of their gender thankyouverymuch.
frank says:

Jun 9 2017 at 1:43 pm

@Ron

Goddamn, how timely, as always! I recently made a commitment to keep the kit simple, as much as I like bright colors. All white shoes, all white socks, black bibs (of course) and simple jerseys, with a black or white helmet and black or white shades.

I was walking my dogs yesterday evening when someone pedaled by on a bike, covered in all sorts of garish gear. It reaffirmed my commitment to classy kit. I have been morbidly noticing all the boutique kit makers pop up on the internet with dopey gear. But, it suddenly seems like bike riders in the real world are now sporting this stuff. I’m seeing more and more people riding on open roads who could pass for a circus clown. This is stirring my inner curmudgeon.

I never understood people wearing Surf Style jackets in the 90s and I don’t understand people on bikes wearing a neon vomit massacre kit.

Your INNER curmudgeon? Jesus, based on the curmudgeon that you let out of the cage, I'm terrified to know what the locked-up one is like, Mr. Hyde.
Buck Rogers says:

Jun 9 2017 at 1:49 pm

@Teocalli

@Buck Rogers

Yup making a long weekend of it Thursday to Monday. Seems like it would be rude not to take up the Sunday opportunity – just need to break it with the VMW. “You know how we are going to have that weekend in NL and I was nipping out on one day for a wee ride, well………..”.

I'm not seeing the part about heading down on Sunday to see Le Tour go by. This sounds amazing, if true!

http://www.eroicalimburg.com/the-ride-1
Buck Rogers says:

Jun 9 2017 at 1:53 pm

@Teocalli

@Buck Rogers

Yup making a long weekend of it Thursday to Monday. Seems like it would be rude not to take up the Sunday opportunity – just need to break it with the VMW. “You know how we are going to have that weekend in NL and I was nipping out on one day for a wee ride, well………..”.

You don't happen to have a second 1987 or earlier bike in a 56-58 cm size laying around do you???
Teocalli says:

Jun 9 2017 at 2:00 pm

@Buck Rogers

@Teocalli

@Buck Rogers

Yup making a long weekend of it Thursday to Monday. Seems like it would be rude not to take up the Sunday opportunity – just need to break it with the VMW. “You know how we are going to have that weekend in NL and I was nipping out on one day for a wee ride, well………..”.

I’m not seeing the part about heading down on Sunday to see Le Tour go by. This sounds amazing, if true!

http://www.eroicalimburg.com/the-ride-1

Look on the News page http://www.eroicalimburg.com/news/eroica-limburg-on-tour-1

I booked early bird and it was not on then so have emailed them on how to add it. In fact in their write up they say..."Riders from over 16 nationalities will be starting their ride through the cross border region of Limburg. Riders from England and Germany deliver the top 2 of participants." My registration turned out to be 0002 - so that's me! Complete fluke that it must have opened just on the day I checked.

I'm a bit of a midget 53/54. Though The Butler might stretch out with a longer stem and seat post ...........