It is so deeply entangled at this point, I can no longer tell the threads from one another. The strands once ran cleanly from one bicycle to the next, linking a discrete sequence of events, considerations, wants, and desires. But then, 15 years ago, a strong force entered my life and I was forced to find alternate means of justifying the acquisition of new machines and kit.
Finding a partner to spend your life with is an incredible experience; to discover the half of you that was missing and feel it join to its mate to become whole is something that defies description. But it doesn’t make buying another bike any easier. If your partner isn’t a Cyclist, there will be endless debating over ancillary details like explaining why already having a bike doesn’t preclude needing the machine in question, or why the existing stable can’t fulfill the purposes of the proposed new steed. Then – should the case have been made and the principle of the purchase agreed to – there will come the maddening discussions of budget and the prioritization of food or clothing over the bike. Suffice to say, being in a relationship with your life’s partner is worth it, but only just.
Partnering with a Cyclist is messier still. While food and clothing are quickly rank ordered at the bottom of the priority stack, there is the introduction of quantities of bicycles on the already-stretched budget. As the VMH happily supports and participates enthusiastically in the selection of wheels and kit, the knowledge will be creeping in that this acquisition only emboldens her for her own Rule #12 endeavors; n + 1 slips to n + 2.
It happened smoothly, without me noticing. Happy to have justified and gained budget approval for my original Bianchi EV2, I scoured the farthest reaches of the primordial Interwebs to stretch my budget to the maximum. I emerged from the other side with a full Dura-Ace 9-speed equipped racing machine, at which point I had no alternative but to accept that her steel Bianchi needed more than fresh bar tape in order to stand up against my lovely new steed.
She approved her own budget (I hold a seat on the finance committee but do not have a controlling vote) and emerged from a much shorter process with a Camapa Record 10spd equipped EV4. That’s two EV’s more than mine. Her superior machine meant that I had room to make upgrades while flying unnoticed under the radar; lighter wheels, better pedals, saddles, and stems flowed on and off my prized EV2 for several years until finally she had to admit I was due for a more substantial upgrade.
I have found, through this process, that the secret to a happy partnership is to keep the VMH in a slightly better bike than mine at all times. My upgrades stay one step behind, which gives me room to fiddle with my kit while her machines jump in leaps and bounds. Should I find myself unable to justify my own new upgrades, I approach the Committee with the suggestion that she requires an upgrade – a proposal which is approved without exception or opposition. She always lays claim to the best and lightest machines and I get to build and kit out twice as many nice bikes.
I know I’m not the only one taking this approach; Gianni’s VMH got a full Carbone climbing rig and months later he was throwing a leg over his own new steed. My mom recently acquired a 6.5 kilo Redline gravel machine which I’m sure will precede my dad’s next bike. Keeper Jim kitted his wife Jess out with a beautiful carbone rig only to Twitter his way into his own a short time later. All the more reason to marry a Cyclist.
Oh, the web we weave. And if any of you even mentions the word “tandem”, I’m banning you for a week.
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Is that a 160mm stem on the Burgundy Bianchi? Merckx.
@Nate
She's a, um, dare I say it, a "keeper" of your cog then !
@Gianni
We need to find a reason to put this in the lexicon.
@kixsand
You're fucked, too, if you think you will outlast your 105. Most durable ever group. The set I have I bought in 7th Grade and its still functional and still serving time on an active bike. Its only shortcoming is its weight; if you're looking for a performance improvement only out of Ultegra or DA, you won't find it. They are quite a bit lighter though, so until you care enough about that, don't sweat it. Getting a MTB may well serve you better until you're clinical like the rest of us.
@G'rilla
I was going to be funny and post a photos of hotdogs on a grill (phalanx of Franks). But I know I'd be opening myself for ridicule the entire winter.
Last summer I sold my 26" hard tail. Not because I didn't like it, I just never got out on it. So we were camping last weekend, and almost everyone up there had one kind of MTB or another. I I expressed my regret of the sale to the Mrs, and she says "well you should just get another one then". What I should have done was get up from beside the campfire, driven 160K back to town, walked into the LBS and handed over the card. Momentary lapses in sanity are rare.
But I got to thinking, do I get a MTB or a 'cross rig that would satisfy more of my off road wants? And there's a TT rig that's been eyeballing me all summer.
If the Mrs was a VMH, we'd be living in a trailer. Our rock climbing racks are the same (lot's a $$ there), top end ski n snow board gear (she was sponsored). I'm not sure which is the better option.
@scaler911 http://www.ebay.com/itm/NINER-AIR-9-Scandium-Large-SRAM-X-9-AVID-Elixir-/161096048131?pt=US_Bicycles_Frames&hash=item2582129e03
@G'rilla
"Echelon of franks" might be even better.
You lucky sonsofbitches married to cyclists. My wife is a runner. I have no objection to her fitness drug of choice, but the $ parallels aren't the same. She does 3 road marathons a year, so that equates to 3 pair of shoes per year, bare minimum. Add then trail marathons @ 2 per year, but due to of the nature of the beast, that equate to 4 pairs of shoes-2 for each training session and a pair a piece for each trail event. Not to mention the 5k's, 10k's, and Half marathons interspersed throughout the year, club breakfasts, beer parties/cookouts and award banquets. Now her total costs, including the airfare, car rentals, hotel rooms, club dues, road/trail shoe/clothing budget, entry fees, medical bills and all other costs too numerous to mention when gathered together would equate a real sweet race machine, a decent 'cross bike, an open budget on finishing my single-speed build up, and keep me swaddled in Rapha and Assos, and shod in Sidi for half a decade, no shit. But fuck me, if she sees the sticker on a new wheel set, I'd better be wearing an armored codpiece and sleeping with one eye open for a good while. The $300 I spent on the KG 181 nearly cost me my balls, and to boot, I've been repainting the living room and kitchen since 1000 this morning.....
@scaler911 I spent a lot of time in Marin County this weekend, on bike and off. I saw too many tri bikes out, and I have to say, TT rigs risk easy confusion with tri rigs, even if you don't put the bidons in the wrong places. In which case, I suppose, they would no longer be properly called bidons at all, but "hydration systems." Which brings me around to my point, which is get a cross bike or MTB.
@Gianni
i sent him an email telling him resend "the old man on the island who loves hideous mansacks" the details again
is there another roger on here? i dont think i ever had an avatar...let alone know how to add one...oh gianni, you are starting to worry me