Winner on the road, loser in the mirror. Photo: Gian Mattia D’Alberto

Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”

Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at themselves. Ourselves. We could do a lot better in the public relations sphere if we took more care to use our playgrounds, ie the roads, as road users rather than pseudo-racers. And we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves every time we kit up and head out the door for a ride. Because what you see in the mirror is what others see also, and we should present ourselves as smart, tidy and sensible, rather than walking fluoro billboards or wannabe Pros.

The mirror is one of the most overlooked pieces of a Cyclist’s kit, and one that needs to be looked into a whole lot more than I suspect it is, going by the rolling messes I see out on the roads on every ride. Of course I’m not endorsing a Rule #66 violation, no sir. Offensive attire isn’t exclusive to the slovenly who go shopping in their tracky pants and Crocs, or the mostly smartly-dressed professionals who top off their neat-pressed pants or skirts with a fucking sleeping bag. You’re not George Costanza, so don’t bother.

It shouldn’t be necessary to tell you how to dress for the ride; you should know that yourself. That’s why The Rules were forged; to educate, yet sometimes to berate is necessary. If you are too clueless to put a helmet on your head level, to wear clean and matching kit, or to buy a pair of socks that don’t expose your fucking ankles, you’re either a hopelessly sloppy individual or a completely lost cause. These are the type of people who go out to dinner with their partner or take long haul flights while wearing rolled-up denim shorts, boat shoes and a t-shirt. Even if you have such little respect for yourself, you, as a member of society, should at least show some for those who have to encounter you.

Let’s smarten things up people. I know for the main part I’m preaching to the converted here, but it’s our duty to spread the knowledge and help ourselves by helping others within our ranks. It’s easy. Pick and choose kit carefully, pre-plan well in advance so you don’t end up just throwing whatever isn’t dirty on, and make sure it’s all adjusted properly. And if you’re in with a show of winning a Monument, straighten up that goddamn helmet!

 

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • @sthilzy

    I think it's impossble for a cyclist not to go past shop/office windows, especially mirror tinted ones, without checking yourself out. Or if riding with one or more others, keep the head straight and turn your eyeballs to "the mirror" for modest vanity.

    Agreed. And this goes for any cycle I ride. I've been known to pull the YMCA up onto the sidewalk  or ride along side a polished sheet-metal lorry to get a better look and make sure my leathers are still crisp. Looking good may or may not make you faster, but looking a dreadful mess will certainly make you slower.

  • Helmet and cap appear ok but sadly it looks like I'm dry humping the top tube. Note to self, there's always a camera somewhere lurking! As for the resident ex pro - the stance appears ok

  • @wiscot "Checking my reflection in windows? You bet I do"

    Strong work,  Isnt that what windows are for, they arent for looking out of from the inside, most definately designed for us / me to check the style points count whilst riding past.

    The true art is in looking at yourself without actually looking at yourself.

  • @Barracuda

    The true art is in looking at yourself without actually looking at yourself.

    Mirrored shades are the clear advantage here.

  • @ChrissyOne

    @Barracuda

    The true art is in looking at yourself without actually looking at yourself.

    Mirrored shades are the clear advantage here.

    I prefer to make use the reflective rear windows of whatever urban tractor (think Range Rover) I end up behind at the traffic lights. One up side to the cars being so big & having a flat rear end is you get a near perfect mirror.

  • Good stuff!  When I lived in Michigan, we road great country roads ala de ronde. It was cut-throat, dod-eat-dog racing. But whenever we would roll through a little town with a supermarket, we would yell "form check!!", everyone would check their bike position/kit with a momentary break in the hostilities, and then resume action. Riding well is only gratifying if you look well too. When I saw the finale of MSR, my first thought was, " god, that cost Giro some helmet sales". I sold my air attack the next day and bought a Louis Garneau Course.

  • @Mikael Liddy

    Mirrored shades are the clear advantage here.

    I prefer to make use the reflective rear windows of whatever urban tractor (think Range Rover) I end up behind at the traffic lights. One up side to the cars being so big & having a flat rear end is you get a near perfect mirror.

    Strong work indeed, and especially effective here in 'Murica where the big beasts abound.
    In my local territory, however, I have the great fortune of passing an empty strip mall on my way out of the house. The lights are always out within, making for a strong, clean reflection in those 12' tall panes. Passersby no doubt assume I'm scoping the space for a real estate deal or a future failed business.

  • There is something to be said for maintaining appearances on the podium as well.

  • I do get a laugh sometimes with earnestness shown by many on this site around the importance of The Rules. Trust me Brett, no one in their car thinks about what we cyclists wear beyond "lyrca" and the last thing that Kristoff should be thinking about during a sprint finish for a Monument is whether his helmet or any other part of his kit is up to Velominati standards. Lighten up and ride more. The ride is always greater than the kit.

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