Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”
Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at themselves. Ourselves. We could do a lot better in the public relations sphere if we took more care to use our playgrounds, ie the roads, as road users rather than pseudo-racers. And we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves every time we kit up and head out the door for a ride. Because what you see in the mirror is what others see also, and we should present ourselves as smart, tidy and sensible, rather than walking fluoro billboards or wannabe Pros.
The mirror is one of the most overlooked pieces of a Cyclist’s kit, and one that needs to be looked into a whole lot more than I suspect it is, going by the rolling messes I see out on the roads on every ride. Of course I’m not endorsing a Rule #66 violation, no sir. Offensive attire isn’t exclusive to the slovenly who go shopping in their tracky pants and Crocs, or the mostly smartly-dressed professionals who top off their neat-pressed pants or skirts with a fucking sleeping bag. You’re not George Costanza, so don’t bother.
It shouldn’t be necessary to tell you how to dress for the ride; you should know that yourself. That’s why The Rules were forged; to educate, yet sometimes to berate is necessary. If you are too clueless to put a helmet on your head level, to wear clean and matching kit, or to buy a pair of socks that don’t expose your fucking ankles, you’re either a hopelessly sloppy individual or a completely lost cause. These are the type of people who go out to dinner with their partner or take long haul flights while wearing rolled-up denim shorts, boat shoes and a t-shirt. Even if you have such little respect for yourself, you, as a member of society, should at least show some for those who have to encounter you.
Let’s smarten things up people. I know for the main part I’m preaching to the converted here, but it’s our duty to spread the knowledge and help ourselves by helping others within our ranks. It’s easy. Pick and choose kit carefully, pre-plan well in advance so you don’t end up just throwing whatever isn’t dirty on, and make sure it’s all adjusted properly. And if you’re in with a show of winning a Monument, straighten up that goddamn helmet!
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Lounge pants? What is the Mercan definition of these please? Is it what we would call track-suit pants or trackie bottoms?
No need for pictures, we can do this by words I hope.
In the UK a number of schools have recently had to send notes to parents asking them not to drop off children wearing pyjamas, dressing gowns and other sleepwear. In my view this serves a higher purpose by identifying people you just want nothing to do with.
@Marko
This is all true but where do the keepers stand on the use of graveurs/cross bikes on rides that stick to paved surfaces and pave? Especially when ridden by someone who should no better having ridden their road bikes across the pave of northern France and the kassien of Flanders.
Mark Rickshaw straightened his helmet during the sprint and paid a high price for maintaining his Look Fantastic.
@ChrisO Pajamas were also banned from Tescos a couple of years ago.
I blame Minion, Marcus and their ilk for the introduction of Ugg boots. It all went downhill from there.
@wiscot
I'm as big a Packer fan as anyone, but I refuse to wear Packers gear year-round. It is reserved for Sunday afternoons between September and January/February.
@ChrisO
So herein lies a quandary, cos you've just suggested that all of us who ride in V Kit are douches. But I'm fairly confident that's not quite what you were getting at, I hope.
@Chris
Probably best to err on the side of all that's good and decent here, so no. Not sure how much we've talked about this. You know as well as I do that regular road bikes are the way to go on the stones. I could see riding a cross rig on a muddy version of Roubaix though I suppose, can't you? But not these dusty ones.
@Ron
There aren't enough +1 badges to go around. I will, and have, soundly berated students during class for this. Of course when I did, they all showed up the next time wearing their pajamas. I love my stoodents.
@Marko
I can certainly see the point of a cross big on a muddy Roubaix but I'm not sure it'd be right and might best be left as something the Pros do like frame pumps and EPMSs.
I know that if I do a muddy Roubaix it'll be on a road bike on Vittoria Paves or FMB Roubaixs. Because that is the way it was done.
@wiscot
I know, I know. It's unreal. I remember when my gf graduated from college. Her Dad (who's a biker and I do like) and brother both wore jeans - the latter finishing it off with a visor. Ugh. I wore a suit. I'm sure they both think I'm snobby or what ever, but it's not about that - it's about how I present myself to the world (I do the same thing when I write something, speak, and also ride my bike). I realize that her Dad and brother are 'blue collar' guys, but so was my Dad who would NEVER show up to formal events (weddings, funerals, graduations, etc.) in anything but a suit. Oh, and then there are men (even professionals) who don't wear an undershirt under their dress shirt...another one of my pet peeves. My mother would KILL me with her bare hands if I ever tried to get away with that!