Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”
Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at themselves. Ourselves. We could do a lot better in the public relations sphere if we took more care to use our playgrounds, ie the roads, as road users rather than pseudo-racers. And we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves every time we kit up and head out the door for a ride. Because what you see in the mirror is what others see also, and we should present ourselves as smart, tidy and sensible, rather than walking fluoro billboards or wannabe Pros.
The mirror is one of the most overlooked pieces of a Cyclist’s kit, and one that needs to be looked into a whole lot more than I suspect it is, going by the rolling messes I see out on the roads on every ride. Of course I’m not endorsing a Rule #66 violation, no sir. Offensive attire isn’t exclusive to the slovenly who go shopping in their tracky pants and Crocs, or the mostly smartly-dressed professionals who top off their neat-pressed pants or skirts with a fucking sleeping bag. You’re not George Costanza, so don’t bother.
It shouldn’t be necessary to tell you how to dress for the ride; you should know that yourself. That’s why The Rules were forged; to educate, yet sometimes to berate is necessary. If you are too clueless to put a helmet on your head level, to wear clean and matching kit, or to buy a pair of socks that don’t expose your fucking ankles, you’re either a hopelessly sloppy individual or a completely lost cause. These are the type of people who go out to dinner with their partner or take long haul flights while wearing rolled-up denim shorts, boat shoes and a t-shirt. Even if you have such little respect for yourself, you, as a member of society, should at least show some for those who have to encounter you.
Let’s smarten things up people. I know for the main part I’m preaching to the converted here, but it’s our duty to spread the knowledge and help ourselves by helping others within our ranks. It’s easy. Pick and choose kit carefully, pre-plan well in advance so you don’t end up just throwing whatever isn’t dirty on, and make sure it’s all adjusted properly. And if you’re in with a show of winning a Monument, straighten up that goddamn helmet!
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Well obviously someone figured out the +1 badge, and again I am honored. I love that photo (shot by Frank, and that's me on the right) and I can't stop thinking about that wonderful day.
I've just noticed the rider second in line behind @ChrissyOne, adjusting his Oakley's for the photo. Good job you didn't feather your brakes Chrissy.
@cyclebrarian You were doing so well until you got to the bit about your mum still making you wear an underhsirt under your dress shirt. Does she still iron your underwear?
My grandad was a bricklayer
@Mike_P
Indeed not, but I don't think (and certainly didn't intend) that V kit falls in either of those camps .
By perfectly matched expensive kit I mean the rider who is in a complete Assos system designed for whatever micro-climate is forecast that day or a head to toe Rapha-Paul Smith limited edition collabo.
And I deliberately mentioned pro-team kit, not team kit which is how I would classify the V kit.
Carry on as you were...
@Mike_P
I know it's difficult to tell, as we're all looking so casually deliberate, but we're moving along at a healthy clip here - a good 30 kmh at least. Panic braking would have been certain disaster.
@Ron
Where's Professor Steampunk's opinion on this? I suspect it's the same. A few years ago I was at the Art Institute of Chicago in February. It was insanely cold with the wind chill being dangerous. A woman at the AIC was wearing strappy summer-type sandal shoes. Really? You thought "Hey, it's only 1 degree and the wind chill is -15, I'd better wear something substantial instead of flipflops cos it's cold out there." I guess what pisses me off is that the innate stupidity of these people often requires sensible ones to have to go out of their way to save the dumbasses from the error of their ways.
@Mike_P
I know it's difficult to tell, as we're all looking so casually deliberate, but we're moving along at a healthy clip here - a good 30 kmh at least. Panic braking would have meant certain disaster.
@Chris
Not sure what happened there...
my granddad was a bricklayer and he always wore a tweed jacket to work.
@ChrisO
Goddamn, a lot of wisdom right here! Yep, the more everything is in order, the easier it is to find that tranquilness. Exactly!
I like bowties but I am holding out on wearing one until I finish my degree. Then, anchors away! Also, I taught around 40 dudes on my uni sports team how to properly tie a necktie. Most of those bastards would tie it once, very poorly, and then just do the loosen/retighten waltz the rest of the season. That pissed me off. I also told some fuckers that dress shirts, neckties and a blazer are not complimented, but ruined, but cargo pants. I can't even imagine thinking it would be a good idea to put cargo pants on with a tie.
@Ron Cargo pants? Don't get me started on those!I had to wear a tie in 1st grade. I was 4 years old. I learned how to tie it back then. And the guys who wear cargo pants with a jacket and tie? The jacket is at least a couple of sizes too big as is the collar of the shirt. I've had to keep my mouth shut in stores as I see a wife/girlfriend give "sizing advice" to her man. "Oh yes dear, the cuff of the jacket should extend past your knuckles when your arms are straight so that it pulls back when you bend your arm. Yes, a 46" jacket is just right for your 5' 6"155lb frame." Maybe some people should stick to sweats . . .