Have you ever been told to take a good look at yourself? Usually it infers that you need to smarten up your ideas, get your shit together, shape up or ship out. If Viagra eyedrops had an advertising campaign, (or indeed existed), their tagline would be: “Take a long, hard look at yourself.”
Most Cyclists need to take a long hard look at themselves. Ourselves. We could do a lot better in the public relations sphere if we took more care to use our playgrounds, ie the roads, as road users rather than pseudo-racers. And we need to take a long, hard look at ourselves every time we kit up and head out the door for a ride. Because what you see in the mirror is what others see also, and we should present ourselves as smart, tidy and sensible, rather than walking fluoro billboards or wannabe Pros.
The mirror is one of the most overlooked pieces of a Cyclist’s kit, and one that needs to be looked into a whole lot more than I suspect it is, going by the rolling messes I see out on the roads on every ride. Of course I’m not endorsing a Rule #66 violation, no sir. Offensive attire isn’t exclusive to the slovenly who go shopping in their tracky pants and Crocs, or the mostly smartly-dressed professionals who top off their neat-pressed pants or skirts with a fucking sleeping bag. You’re not George Costanza, so don’t bother.
It shouldn’t be necessary to tell you how to dress for the ride; you should know that yourself. That’s why The Rules were forged; to educate, yet sometimes to berate is necessary. If you are too clueless to put a helmet on your head level, to wear clean and matching kit, or to buy a pair of socks that don’t expose your fucking ankles, you’re either a hopelessly sloppy individual or a completely lost cause. These are the type of people who go out to dinner with their partner or take long haul flights while wearing rolled-up denim shorts, boat shoes and a t-shirt. Even if you have such little respect for yourself, you, as a member of society, should at least show some for those who have to encounter you.
Let’s smarten things up people. I know for the main part I’m preaching to the converted here, but it’s our duty to spread the knowledge and help ourselves by helping others within our ranks. It’s easy. Pick and choose kit carefully, pre-plan well in advance so you don’t end up just throwing whatever isn’t dirty on, and make sure it’s all adjusted properly. And if you’re in with a show of winning a Monument, straighten up that goddamn helmet!
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@ChrisO Damn...now I have to sell my Rapha shit. I loved that stuff until today.
@scaler911
Thank the sweet baby Jeebus for Scaler. After wandering dangerously through the minefields of bowties, trackie dackies and cargo trousers, the Velominati decided to commit mass - satorial - hari - kari by string singlet. And then, BOOM Scaler does us all proud. No-one gives a shit about what labels, brands, the mud, whatever, it's the combination of all the right components in just the right way. It's the ineffable elements of style that we're trying to find but by definition can't grasp.
@Geraint
For me it's "too much". Gilding the lily is the phrase that comes to mind.
Part of that "too much" is the colour I think. One of those pieces might work if the rest was all black, or white but the totality is just horrific.
There's another dimension which is I just don't think the individual can carry it off. Like the difference between the guy in front of his garage door in the zebra suit compared to Cipollini.
@Geraint
Even Rapha on their website hasn't managed to photograph anyone actually looking good all in hot pink. Black with pink highlights, yes, but not like this. Chartreuse is just a fancy name for hi-viz fluoro yellow and isn't any better. This is just ostentatiously loud. As Nik wrote, if he can ride everyone off his wheel like Cipo on a good day, great, but he doesn't have Cipo's lion-like presence to carry it off vaguely well even then.
It sort of fits one of my theories about Germans. They don't like change much, but if they decide to get into (or out of) something, they will do it to the absolute nth degree. Cheesy pop music? They have the cheesiest. Declining interest in bike racing following doping scandals? It's like a media black-out. Quality control for breweries? World's oldest still-valid purity law. Matching bike kit? See above. I think it's what makes them stereotypically good engineers.
Anyway, time for an espresso and a bike ride.
@unversio I'm really sorry, I try to be level when I post, but seriously What The Fuck!
@Mike_P
Yeah, I've seen that dude pull a no hands track stand at a traffic light. Bit of a real deal right there.
A long weekend in the hills meant I missed this one. Perfect sentiments. This photo pretty much captures it all....and not a team or brand name in sight!
@andrew
Aussie owner of North Side wheelers I believe