2012 Anti-V Moment of the Year: Bullies are really just pussies
As referenced in the 2012 V-Moment of the year article and ensuing discussion, it was a most Vawesome year for cycling. It’s been hypothesized here and on cycling sites with more integrity that the fantastic racing of 2012 may be, at least in part, attributed to a cleaner peloton. Unless you watched the Tour de France you’d think the days of foregone conclusions and three week coronations are quickly becoming a thing of the past. It is in this vein we bring to you the Anti-V Moment of 2012: Lance Armstrong’s ceasing to fight the charges against him.
Now usually, we try our best not to delve into the seedy side of cycling. There is just way too much cool about our sport to focus our collective energy and attention on asshats. Besides, we’ve got bikes to ride. But the COTHO’s public announcement that he would no longer fight, er, defend himself against allegations of systematic doping, money laundering, blackmail, intimidation, and international douchebaggery has to be the biggest Anti-V moment of the year, if not in the history of pro cycling.
The COTHO could have feasibly taken one of three tacks as the winds of pressure, evidence, and public opinion continued to blow against his house of cards. Tack one would have been to continue lying, bribing, and digging an ever deepening hole as he steadfastly proclaimed his innocence. This obviously hadn’t been working for the past 10-odd years but at least it allowed him to maintain his base of supporters. Even as it became more difficult for him to maintain the façade he still had a sizable group of survivors, apologists, journalists, and mis-guided cycling fans who believed.
Tack two would have been to come clean (pardon the pun) and admit to the whole sordid mess he created but he didn’t have the ball to do this either. Who knows what his reasons are for not being honest? Best guesses are he’s rationalizing a set of excuses ranging from mitigating his financial liability, evading criminal implications, and blaming the corruptness of the sport. Maybe he’s trying to save face in some twisted way. But for as cliché as Tyler Hamilton even admitted in his tell-all; the truth will set you free. The COTHO could have stood in front of those microphones and cameras and said “Hey, you know what, I doped. I made some poor choices and lied to everybody and for that I’m deeply sorry.” Had he done so his detractors would probably still be his detractors and he would have given his supporters a legitimate reason to continue supporting him but at least everybody could say he fessed up and there is some integrity in doing that.
Alas, he took the Anti-V tack. He stopped defending himself, er, lying without admitting to anything and seems to be hoping to just fade into the background. In essence, he’s taking his toys and going home. What’s striking about this is that it is contrary to what we’ve come to understand about the guy. If anything, we’ve come to know him as a fighter, both in life and on the road. But this latest, and hopefully last maneuver was just plain weak. (Notice I’ve added the categories of “Evanescent Riders” and “In Memoriam” to this article in addition to “Awards”. The first two are much more fitting.)
Perhaps it belies the true nature of the man. A nature that involves intimidation, serial emotional and physical aggression and even violence. A nature that includes socially isolating his victims, arguing them into submission, and propagating rumors, gossip, and lies about them to sway public opinion in his favor. A nature that involves amplifying the mistakes of others in order to strengthen his own self-image. A nature whereby there are many innocent bystanders who are too fearful of repercussions to come forward themselves. The nature of a man who may be trying to compensate for his own insecurities and feed his own narcissism and megalomania. The nature of a simple bully who ultimately shows himself to be a big pussy.
@Buck Rogers
Ha, yeah – classic – basically what Brett and I did.
The big dispute of the day was Bretto and I broke away and then took a wrong turn some time after Hem. We rode into Roubaix after @ChrisO and @roadslave525. But then they never finished the full 1.5 laps of the track which means they never finished – so I wound up being the first to complete the entire route, with Bretto rolling in a bit later after I lost him by cutting traffic and risking my life.
Brett and I claimed we were the rightful victors as Chris never actually crossed the finish, and Chris claimed he was. It was all in good fun, and in reality, we were just arguing over who was less idiotic in their failure.
The debate raged on until @ChrisO left, at which @Brett and I won, obviously.
But seriously, @ChrisO – the sidewalk? You missed possibly the best cobbles of the whole ride!
I know our dear leader is keen on a bit of historical revisionism* so just to clarify some facts here…
1. I didn’t ride the whole Arenberg at the side. I only rode the first part, about a third, because our ride guide said to and I have a terrible habit of listening to people who know what they’re talking about. I thought it was just going to be like the narrow gutter at the side of the other sectors. The only reason I even did that much on it was that they had put up the barriers for the sportive so I couldn’t get back in the middle until there was a gap.
2. The reason we didn’t complete the 1.5 laps was that there was a fucking barrier across the track. I believe it is not traditional for the P-R winner to have to unclip and waddle through a jersey barrier before completing the final half lap. We crossed the line and stopped at the barrier as you guys entered the velodrome. Frankly given your sense of direction it was probably in the interests of safety that we remained well behind some solid objects while you worked it out.
3. Your breakaway was doomed anyway. We were catching you as you turned off, and we didn’t even break any traffic rules.
4. The first rule of racing is Never Do Anything You Don’t Have To. Some of us are just naturally a bit more pro I guess…
Never mind, you’ll get another chance in 2013, and I won’t be there to defend. Maybe then you’ll all get over it.
Happy New Year ;-)
*WTF is Historical Revisionism ? I know what the words mean but when I was setting up parental controls on one of our kids’ laptops the other day it had a long list of things you could block or unblock, like Profanity, Dating, Adult sites and Historical Revisionism . Presumably it has a specific context not just people debating whether the British Empire was a positive influence or the Causes of the Civil War.
@ChrisO
Batshite crazy white supremacists, holocaust deniers and conspiracy theorists of all stripes. Most of these “groups” really only exist on-line these days and are rarely spotted outside of cyberspace until one of them blows up a federal building or something.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming:
While I’m in full agreement with everything Marko has written above, the COTHO’s misdeeds have spanned more than a decade now and clearly deserve their own special category of recognition. My nomination for anti-V moment of 2012 goes to the still-unknown arsehole, or arseholes, who threw carpet tacks on the road during Stage 14. Those who can, do. Those who can’t often seek to ruin everyone else’s good time.
@frank Ahh, comforting to know that I am in good company!
Nothing like being completely lost in a country that you have no hope of speaking the language having not only hit the wall around an hour prior but mostly buried under it, just willing the day to end so that the large taint blister that you’ve had for the last two hours can get some fresh air and a shower (un-fuckin’-beliavably painful by the way) and then realizing that you are completely fucking lost in Hem! Not my favorite memory of the day for sure!
@ChrisO
You know ChrisO, the length of the excuse is usually inversely proportional to it’s validity. Just saying.
@Spun Up Exactly. Facts are facts. Take Little Bighorn for example. It’s indisputable that a bunch of people died. Read a history book and get one perspective, talk to the Lakota and get another.
Taking one’s self too seriously on the other hand when we’re just having a bit of fun talking about one of the best rides of the year…
Good point about the tack incident as well.
@Marko
J’Accuse! J’Accuse! Le petite frommage…
@Marko
wee bitty embarrasisng, non ?
but not as bad as my spelling…
@ChrisO
There is the online group of wingnuts that goes out and purposely suffers on bikes then posts how fun it was.
@Marko
Ha, that picture totally supports me. That’s William at the side – I was wearing white V-kit.
Clearly I had already gone back on by then. And it also shows the barriers. Ha, again.
I thought that may have been William. I wasn’t paying attention to what people were wearing that day but vaguely remember his gilet as we were all riding behind it most of the time. It’s a great pic in either case. I suppose it’s no matter to William as he rides the trench 10 times a year or something like that.
@ChrisO
No, Chris, you finished on the sidewalk. I know this because I turned around and saw you on it. You then complained that the barriers kept you from coming back onto the pavé.
This photo was taken by Jesse, which means the group had barely started the 3km section, as you can see by how long it goes on in the shot. There were plenty of other openings in the barrier, and you obviously jumped across later.
I would think you’d at least be able to keep the facts of your own ride straight before you started worrying about other people’s ride. And a general “wow” on how seriously you’re taking this. Lighten up, Francis. No one but you gives a shit.
I like Kimmage but this could be an early 2013 Anti-V moment in the making…
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/kimmage-unconvinced-by-sky-and-wiggins
Or a recent quote from the 2012 TdF winner: “I never saw myself as a ‘Sir’.” Yabbut, you easily saw others as fucking cunts.
Knights of the realm have such fucking potty mouths.
“he didn’t have the ball to do this either.” When I read that I just about spit my $7 coffee all over my computer screen. Good on you.
There’s this snippet from an d article i read erlier.
http://www.pelotonmagazine.com/Feedzone/content/6/2026/Armstrong-to-Confess
Can COTHO guy (annoying seinfeld inlection) BE any more selfish?
Of the millions of reasons his PR team could cook up, they went with this??
@roger Also in the Telegraph this morning.
A proper confession would be great but I can’t see it being anything other than some weasley words with no real admitting of guilt. A return to competitive sport would be a disaster for the anti doping bodies and cycling in general. Cunt.
@Chris I doubt he’d give a full confession. He’s too much of a twat to admit he’s been lying all these years. I can’t even imagine them reinstating him. Disastrous, indeed.
We’re finally starting to get trough to him though.
@frank
Frank that’s rubbish.
And until you effectively accused me of lying I wasn’t actually taking it seriously.
I even included an emoticon in one reply to make sure it wasn’t mistaken. Handy things. And apart from that I thought it would be obvious that the use of words like “Ha” signifies a light-hearted response. I don’t think any objective reading would suggest otherwise.
I’m not the one who keeps bringing it up – which is odd, since apparently nobody but me gives a shit – but I took it to be a bit of banter in the OP, if somewhat worn through over-use by now. I haven’t even been looking at the thread for days, which is how much I care.
If anyone is taking it the wrong way it’s you. The comments were between me and Marko, and I don’t see why you feel the need to get involved in such an aggressive way. Lighten your self first mate.
@roger
God, I hope he confesses and they (UCI, WADA, USADA, IOC whomever) carve the ban in stone and apply it to any sport, anywhere.
“he is considering admitting publicly that he used blood transfusions and banned drugs during his cycling career in an effort to restore his credibility”
What credibility??
@wiscot
I love this…the fucktard is stuck between a rock and a hard place. He is desperate to still be in the public eye and is probably driving himself round the twist with his own company. Trouble is, even if he wants to fess up and go all contrite on us, the legal beagles with tear him to pieces with law suit after law suit….you watch and see if he does not try to cut a deal to get him out of a potential perjury case if he ever admits it publicly.
This guys is a megalomaniac, I am just enjoying watching him squirm, the question for him is: Which is worse…law suits, loss of money and possible gaol and ignominy…..or…..being out of the headlines and noone giving you a second thought anymore?
I am not normally a vindictive person but I am prepared to make an exception in this case.
Or, maybe he brings McQueef and the corruption of the UCI down with him leading to the sport really starting with a clean slate.
@Marko
Spot fucking on.
If you’re LA, you’re the rider with the most to lose. It stands to reason that you dig your heels in the most.
But we know the UCI is complicit. No way will COTHO go down without taking the whole shit house with him.
He’s just waiting for the stage to clear. Let the Hamiltons and Millars play their bit parts (as usual) then when you can attract maximum attention and inflict the deepest wounds (TdF week one?) you sing!
Just waiting to see who gets the movie rights. (Tom Cruise is perfect for the Huevo role).
@Harminator No way it’ll be Tom Cruise now that he’s 6′ 5″ and 250 pounds.
A well written sensible article for once….I feel the breath of Voldemort on the back of our collective necks as he desperately tries to make his way back from despair….
http://www.cyclingweekly.co.uk/news/latest/536246/comment-don-t-get-too-excited-about-an-armstrong-confession.html
Quote of the week though..” There are four subjects that are guaranteed to cause a storm in the cycling community: Mandatory helmet use, riders not waving back once they’ve been waved at, the cost of Rapha clothing, and Lance Armstrong. “
Armstrong to address doping scandal on Oprah
….wonder if he’ll jump up and down on the couch, “I’m in love, I’m in love!” In love with __________?
@sthilzy
I would be stunned if he told us anything concrete at all, the lawyers will be all over him before hand. I suspect this is a publicity stunt to keep him in the limelight. With a bit of luck nuclear war will occur before the screening and we will all be saved from some self-aggrandizing followed by the whole “I am a victim” bit. The off button will be firmly deployed here, I will catch on it later, I am washing my hair that night!
Geez! Gotta watch what goes in your coffee!
EPO – Coffee 250g Espresso Grind
@sthilzy
I see COTHO sitting on the sofa in Texas and sipping a nice espresso saying “why yes, Oprah, I did ingest EPO, in fact I still do” then whipping out a bag of this coffee to fulfill his sponsor contract.
I still don’t see him fessing up as that’ll cost him shed loads of $$:: SCA, Sunday Times, lawsuits from slandered folks, Federal whistleblower investigation, etc, etc. Who’s he going to blame? Johan? Everyone knows he was top dog and ruled the team with an iron first and I really don’t see him playing a very convincing victim. I mean, can you see COTHO saying “I was a duped, misled, made a fool of for 10 years by Mr X” Will he throw Ferrari under the bus? “I just took what my doctor proscribed and he told me it was legit.” Lance playing a victim is as convincing as the Pope saying he’s Musliim.
@Deakus COTHO does not need a publicity stunt to keep him in the limelight. I think this is pretty brilliant when you start thinking about it. Who has more blind followers than Cotho? Oprah. If Lance can pull out all the stops and get Oprah and her flock of sheep all teary-eyed and forgiving – those Livestrong bracelets will rocket out of the discount bins.
@Tobin
Exactly my point…he does need them…not for the money… for the adoration…the man is a megolomaniac. He probably needs to make some small change out of it just show he can still rock up to A list shows but in actual fact he is different from most Oprah guests who have something to promote….Pharmy has fuck all to promote…except livestrong which will as you say rakes in the dollars for him. He stepped down as Chairman but he is still a director. More importantly it I am not sure why anyone still thinks he is worth interviewing….?
@Deakus I am torn on his interview. On one hand – he gets airtime and a chance to sway public opinion and on the other hand I think a lot of us want to hear him say he doped. For a lot of us I think it will be a no win situation. Ideally, it would be great if he crashed and burned and took down Pat and Hein with him and we could finally put this chapter to bed and focus on the cycling again. I sure wish these questions were asked instead of the prescripted fluff we will most likely see.
What a scumbag. Of course it’s only to sway public opinion. It’s not like Orca’s audience is a bunch of cycling fanatics.
Last seen he was riding a blacked out specialized and running in a pair if Asics.
@Tobin
Handing out these;
I’ve had the strangest thought lately… who is(are) the only person(s) that could possibly come out looking worse than Lance in this whole thing? McQuaid, Verbruggen, WADA and the UCI…that’s who. Could Lance come clean and drop the bomb on them and actually spin it to make it seem that he felt compelled or coerced to use PED’s to continue his success? That he had to continue to do it to keep up the rise in popularity of the sport (especially in the U.S.) that was tied to his comeback from cancer? That he had to do it to continue to raise the millions and millions of dollars to help those being assisted by Livestrong?
Think about it… so many people would be ready and willing to forgive and forget (at least forgive) and he could actually bring down all of the corruption at the very top of the sport and (dare I say) become cycling’s savior in the eyes of the non cycling or even the recreational cycling public?
It’s a scary scenario…
I hope it doesn’t happen, because if it did I think Lemartyr would have a stroke.
@LA Dave
I doubt it. This would be suicide, even if he wanted to get back at WADA and the UCI it would seem crazy to admit to lieing under oath in a federal investigation, which is what he has already done once. The problem is that unless they can get him back on the stand and make him do it again, they can’t really prove it beyond doubt. Much more likely that this will be a sickly poor lance interview..
Nikki Cooke has a few things to add about the Anti-V moment of the year:
http://www.cyclingnews.com/news/nicole-cooke-retires-from-cycling
“Tyler Hamilton will make more money from a book describing how he cheated than I will make in all my years of honest labour.”
Gonna miss looking at her tits on the pages of Velonews.
And Nikki’s tirade about a lack of title IX in the UK notwithstanding, and the rather brash assumption that there actually is a market for women’s pro cycling (a debatable topic. Not sure that there is a market for, say, professional women’s synchronised diving either…) she really picked a great time to let both barrels fly today. Good on her.
http://nicolecooke.com/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=130:nicoles-retirement-statement&catid=1:latest-news&Itemid=18
@eightzero
It’ll never happen but putting Cooke in charge of the UCI might not be a bad thing. Great farewell speech. More than most, he told it like it was/is. Respect.
@Deakus Lastest I’ve heard is, “LA is to go on Piers Morgan to deny that he was on Oprah.”
@LA Dave I think this is a real possibility. The best form of defence is attack, and it should mean that he leaves a monumental legacy, and proven that one man is bigger than the company/team. I can’t use emoticons, but as I am English, the “leaves a monumental legacy” drips with cynicism.
@getsetchris
Nice.
It make sense. He wants to stay in the limelight and in lesser forms of competition and out of jail and/or bankruptcy, so he agrees to make a partial confession that implicates bureaucrats and money men. And he does it with Oprah. I’m gagging, here, but it makes a nauseating kind of sense.
Breaking news in Canada tonight…
@Tobin