Categories: Anatomy of a PhotoFolkloreThe Hardmen

Anatomy of a Photo: I Will Eat You Where You Stand.

You talkin' to me? Photo: Stephan Vanfleteren

If ever there was a photo that illustrated why anyone would be given the monicker, “The Canibal”, this is it.

I devoted a full seventeen seconds to ‘finding out the history’ of this picture, and came up empty. G’Phant sent this my way with a short but clear note, “This photo looks like it was taken at the moment Merckx was told Moser beat his Hour record; I look forward to learning the true history.” His email went on to imply Merckx threatened to eat Moser’s entire family and that he followed through with the threat.

That’s exactly the kind of hyperbolae the Velominati try to stay away from; everyone knows Fancesco Moser is still alive – Merckx couldn’t possibly have eaten everyone in his family. The only plausible explanation would be that it was a sinister endeavor in which Moser alone was left alive to wallow in the agony of his singular survival. It is a widely accepted fact, however, that Merckx gained a lot of weight after this photo was taken. I’ll let you draw your own conclusions in this matter.

With no legitimate evidence to counter it – and as an unaccredited and completely untrustworthy member of the media, it only seems natural to assume the thesis of Geof’s email – that this is the very moment in which he was informed of the new Hour Record – is correct. (When I say ‘natural’, I actually mean ‘easy’.) While in principle I agree that Merckx’s comment was uncharacteristic in it’s lack of class, I urge you to consider that, based on the look on the Cannibal’s face, his official comment, “For the first time in the history of the Hour record a weaker man has beaten a stronger man” was not one of an uncharacteristic quip but one of self-constraint. What he meant to say was, “I am the Cannibal. I will eat you where you stand.”

If you feel Merckx owes Moser an apology, I suggest that you tell him.

Thanks to G’Phant and Buck Rogers for the inspiration to this article.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

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View Comments

ChrisO says:

Sep 27 2011 at 8:35 am

@roadslave

What awesome stories we have been treated to today :-)

And Oli... you were right, but I like Roadslave's version more.
northern hardman says:

Oct 18 2011 at 2:55 pm

I think this is the kind of look "THE GREAT HE" might have given Steve Leek at Eastway in 1981 in the Worlds,when he reportedly rode alongside Leeky in the bunch grabbed his leg just above the knee and said "strong boy" shook his head and rode off.
JACD214 says:

Jun 20 2013 at 4:03 am

I will post a life-size print of this picture to greet me after every ride. If this does not say "Not enough V, Pedalwan", nothing does.

I need to ride more.
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