As surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you ride a bicycle you can bet your ass against an apple that you are going to get a flat. Not if, but when. Death and taxes, and all that.

This could be Pierre or Antonio or Jean-Michel, most likely a name that rolls off the tongue with the same ease he rolled his dead tubular from the rim. The strokes of the pump as powerful and smooth as the strokes of his guns, as precise and clean as his socks, skin tanned and polished like the shoes on his feet, tough like the gloves on his hands.

This is an ambassador of Looking Fantastic; he would never contemplate turning his steed upside down, and surely this moment was an instigator of Rule #49. And you know that the shredded tub laying there will soon be wrapped around the shoulders in full Rule #77 compliance prior to resuming to Lay Down The V.

Pierre, Antonio, whatever be your name, we salute you for pioneering the Art of Awesome and being Compliant as Fuck in those tough days of yore.

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • @Buck Rogers

    Oh come on now. It's not that hard to pump them up with a mini pump.
    I flat a few times every year and always only have my mini pump with me.

    Time to HTFU!

    We can replace the drunk roller's contest with a tire minipump inflation contest!

  • @CanuckChuck

    @Buck Rogers

    Oh come on now. It's not that hard to pump them up with a mini pump.
    I flat a few times every year and always only have my mini pump with me.

    Time to HTFU!

    We can replace the drunk roller's contest with a tire minipump inflation contest!

    Damn!  We're not selling the Cogal very well here, are we?

  • @Buck Rogers As long as you can order up the same perfect weather as we had last year, shouldn't be problem. (Doesn't the the army have a super secret weather control weapon you could request a test of that day?)

  • I equate folk who carry only CO2 cartridges and no pump with those numptys who insist on going up our mountains with only a GPS and no map & compass. I will help them, but find it hard to sympathsize.

  • @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE...
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    or a section of old side-wall from binned tyre. I've never used them, someone smarter than I thought of that. Folded up currency works well.

  • @strathlubnaig

    I equate folk who carry only CO2 cartridges and no pump with those numptys who insist on going up our mountains with only a GPS and no map & compass. I will help them, but find it hard to sympathsize.

    +1

    A mini pump is the gift that keeps on giving (don't overdo it though, you don't want too much muscle on those grimpeur's arms); CO2 will leave you looking foolish if you have a malcoordinated moment - I've seen it done!

  • Wow, its like someone took a picture of me when I flatted last Friday night. The resemblance is uncanny. First there's the bike sans front wheel, then the discarded tyre. And then, well I guess the resemblance ends. Still, makes me feel better that it happens to the best of us.

  • His sock height is defining the upper limit of acceptability, and looking awesome as he does it. Those shoes must have folded over the pedals. They would have killed for some carbon fiber soles.

  • Riding alone, it is pump and co2.  Riding in company i get them to take the pump on the agreement that the first two flats get to use my co2 regardless of which of us flats.

    in winter co2 is a godsend simply for speed of getting back on the bike and riding.  It is not a hardman who stands in freezing rain pump in hand......it is a man who wished he had a faster alternative.  Htfu applies to deploying your guns....not luddite foolishness.

    now if you happen to be attending strada bianchi in the italian sunshine with a cheeky chianti in your Bidon then be my guest and take your time....otherwise i highly recommend co2.

    big debate on this last year here and it was enough to convert me.

  • @Gianni

    His sock height is defining the upper limit of acceptability, and looking awesome as he does it. Those shoes must have folded over the pedals. They would have killed for some carbon fiber soles.

    Agreed, but one has to consider sock length to shorts length. Rider X can get away with the longer socks as his shorts are correspondingly shorter. This is not a Wiggo scenario where both shorts and socks are too long. It all about proportionality (if that's a word).

    Agreed too on the shoes. My first pair of cycling shoes were Rivat touring shoes. All leather. Flat sole and if I remember a very thin heel. About as stiff as flip flops they were.

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