As surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you ride a bicycle you can bet your ass against an apple that you are going to get a flat. Not if, but when. Death and taxes, and all that.
This could be Pierre or Antonio or Jean-Michel, most likely a name that rolls off the tongue with the same ease he rolled his dead tubular from the rim. The strokes of the pump as powerful and smooth as the strokes of his guns, as precise and clean as his socks, skin tanned and polished like the shoes on his feet, tough like the gloves on his hands.
This is an ambassador of Looking Fantastic; he would never contemplate turning his steed upside down, and surely this moment was an instigator of Rule #49. And you know that the shredded tub laying there will soon be wrapped around the shoulders in full Rule #77 compliance prior to resuming to Lay Down The V.
Pierre, Antonio, whatever be your name, we salute you for pioneering the Art of Awesome and being Compliant as Fuck in those tough days of yore.
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@Andrew Crinson
Do convicts get an hour off for lunch?
Really? You are the only cyclist/sledge hammerer I know. Usually cyclists are too frail and wimpy to actually do manual labor for anywhere close to one hour a day. Chapeau.
@johnthughes
Do keep us informed on the conversion to a Belgian life. Vlaams seems like a tough one to pick up. Keep us posted with more "smirking hardman" anecdotes.
Want to see the after pic - hoping he wrapped the spent tube around his shoulders as he completed the task at hand and carried on in a casually deliberative fashion to crush the others to the summit of the climb. With the shoe/sock combo, victory was assured.
@James - love charging for the use of the pump. 1 coffee isn't going to cut it though. I'm thinking 1 coffee or beer, a little extra time in the wind plus a full ration of shit for the next 5 rides will teach the lesson that even my 5-year old knows.
I make it a policy to be able to fix at least two punctures whilst out on a ride. When I'm riding tubs, this means a spare under the saddle and a can of Pit Stop in the pocket (plus a mini pump). Which I use first is dependant on the size/nature of the puncture. Short of carrying a needle and thread, or a second tub, I'm unaware of another way to achieve this redundancy.
@cw
Here in big 'ol Oz we have plastic money. No, not credit cards, ok we have them too but cash, is plastic. A $5 note is then perfect to wrap a tube in to protect it against a damaged tyre. Since I also happen to carry my spare tube/multitool/ co2 canister in a "zip lock bag" that too can be used if subjected to a second.
@Buck Rogers C02 is compulsory on bunch rides. Standing around waiting for the limp wristed to inflate with a pump is less time at the cafe.
@Buck Rogers
A few times a year? WTF? Was it @Frank mentioning a month or so ago that he had only a couple of flats in his entire riding career! (No wonder he can afford to roll on tubs).
How often do you guys ride? 15kms once a quarter?? I am onto flat number 28 this year! These days I am fed up with damaging nice expensive tyres so I now run Maxxis Re-fuse for training. Thankfully, since I roll on only the best tubs in races I have yet to hole a tub yet but they only get out for about 100kms a month. Don't go getting on your high horse and tell me I need to pay more attention to avoiding road debris, check inflation before each ride or spend time after each ride checking the tyres for stuff embeded. Trust me, do all that!
@Puffy buck has ridden 2 or 3 times this year. so, that statement could be entirely accurate. sad, but accurate.
@Xyverz
ha ha I've been told that as with many things in cycling the more expensive better, therefore you should only use $100 bills to boot your tire.
Oh Merckx, not the pump vs. CO2 bitchfest again.
The jury is still out on my road tubeless conversion. 1500 miles, no flats. Yes, I know what my saying this means. But I plan to replace the tyres at 2000 miles, hell or high water. And I now carry a AAA WA membership. 2x CO2 only, extra latex, and fingers crossed. And no more fucking tubes.
I will make a nod to @frank's assertion the micro pump is lighter than 2x CO2. Possible, and worth considering.