As surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you ride a bicycle you can bet your ass against an apple that you are going to get a flat. Not if, but when. Death and taxes, and all that.
This could be Pierre or Antonio or Jean-Michel, most likely a name that rolls off the tongue with the same ease he rolled his dead tubular from the rim. The strokes of the pump as powerful and smooth as the strokes of his guns, as precise and clean as his socks, skin tanned and polished like the shoes on his feet, tough like the gloves on his hands.
This is an ambassador of Looking Fantastic; he would never contemplate turning his steed upside down, and surely this moment was an instigator of Rule #49. And you know that the shredded tub laying there will soon be wrapped around the shoulders in full Rule #77 compliance prior to resuming to Lay Down The V.
Pierre, Antonio, whatever be your name, we salute you for pioneering the Art of Awesome and being Compliant as Fuck in those tough days of yore.
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@Gianni
I work labor as well, this week I get to cut and move around 100lb sections of stainless steel!
@Puffy
I haven't flatted all year. Had tire liners in until summer when the casing broke through the tread. Since then I have been running Veloflex, one slow leak that took 2-3 days to leak out. Racing nd training on the same tires.
@eightzero
Yeah FFS, just meditate on the Awesome of Walter will ya's?
@Puffy
It just depends on where you live and ride, then, doesn't it? I can ride 200 miles a week and flat two or three times a year, but that's because I'm a lucky bitch.
@Puffy
I don't know what it is but something is seriously wrong to have that many flats in that time.
How many kms are you doing ?
@brett
Nipple lube!
@Puffy
I'm with @ChrisO. 28 flats for this year? That seems really high. I think I'm around 5 or 6 flats for the year, putting me around 2000km/flat with plenty of those miles on chip-sealed, pot-holed Michigan roads.
What tires do you run? GP4000s have been pretty resilient and Gatorskins up the ante even further. Cheap tires increase the likelihood of flats. I've found if I take my bike out with the cheap tires I use for the rollers, I get a flat almost every ride.
Seeing as its come up, what is the issue behind placing your bicycle upside down? Apart from looking ungainly, it would seem to be the most practical way of getting at your wheels or drivetrain while effecting roadside repairs on your own.
Or am I missing something?
Is it just like the sunglasses over the helmet straps issue?
Signed,
Confused.
@PT
Dear Confused,
1. Besides being disrespectful, it's a surefire way to scratch or soil your saddle, stem, bars, tape and/or hoods. It's also pretty much guaranteed that your bike will fall over in the two seconds you turn around to grab your multitool.
2. In the days before aero cabling, it could also put a kink in the housings where they exited the brake levers.
3. They're called dropouts for a reason.
Best regards,
Abigail Van Pistard
@PT
Pistard has covered it admirably but I would also suggest that the premise of your question is wrong.
It's easier to access and replace the wheel when the bike is in an upright position and you're more likely to get the wheel back in sitting square and neat in the dropouts.
@pistard
Dear Abigail,
Thankyou for the speedy and forthright advice.
While I comprehend (certainly on the unsuitability or inverting ones steed when dealing with older generations of brake hoods), I must beg to differ. The Campy shifter tips are rubber and the Fizik seat is also some leather-like product under which I carefully place a suitable item (like a cap) to minimize scratches. Dropouts are, indeed, drop-outs, I will grant you that.
Nevertheless, I cannot foresee compliant behavior from me in regard to this particular rule. Which is unusual as I manage to follow most others.
Sincerely,
The Disrespectful Recidivist