Anatomy of a Photo: Rules Pioneer

As surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you ride a bicycle you can bet your ass against an apple that you are going to get a flat. Not if, but when. Death and taxes, and all that.

This could be Pierre or Antonio or Jean-Michel, most likely a name that rolls off the tongue with the same ease he rolled his dead tubular from the rim. The strokes of the pump as powerful and smooth as the strokes of his guns, as precise and clean as his socks, skin tanned and polished like the shoes on his feet, tough like the gloves on his hands.

This is an ambassador of Looking Fantastic; he would never contemplate turning his steed upside down, and surely this moment was an instigator of Rule #49. And you know that the shredded tub laying there will soon be wrapped around the shoulders in full Rule #77 compliance prior to resuming to Lay Down The V.

Pierre, Antonio, whatever be your name, we salute you for pioneering the Art of Awesome and being Compliant as Fuck in those tough days of yore.

Related Posts

119 Replies to “Anatomy of a Photo: Rules Pioneer”

  1. Are CO2 cartridges compliant with The Rules? Or must we always use pumps?

    Also, these things should be mandatory to carry as well. They’re enough to get you home in one piece without having to soft pedal too much.

  2. @TBONE

    Are CO2 cartridges compliant with The Rules? Or must we always use pumps?

    Also, these things should be mandatory to carry as well. They’re enough to get you home in one piece without having to soft pedal too much.

    Prefer to carry a pump thru winter. One tube. One lever. One pump.

  3. @TBONE

    Are CO2 cartridges compliant with The Rules? Or must we always use pumps?

    Also, these things should be mandatory to carry as well. They’re enough to get you home in one piece without having to soft pedal too much.

    A case can be made for them.

    But then you get times like I did last Thanksgiving, while I was out for a short ‘beer in the bidon’ ride before that evening’s gluttony, and I flatted two times and used all my CO2, then had to call my VHM for a broomwagen (first time that has ever happened). It can leave you stranded if you’re not careful.

  4. That’s not Hugo Koblet is it? He rode for the Fiorelli team in 1948.

  5. It also made me think of all the times I’ve been out riding towards the woods/mountains east of Portland, 30-40 miles from home, in areas with little to no cell reception, with only a single spare tube and two cartridges of co2. Lucky I never got proper fucked on one of those rides.

  6. I have never used co2 cartridges.  I hear that they are awesome but I just cannot do it. 

    Hell, I still mourn for my silca frame pump “securing nipple” that used to be on my seat tube just below the top tube to help hold the pump in place back “in the day”.

    These days I carry a mini-pump and two levers in my back pocket with the spare tub under the seat. 

    So far, so good.

    The cartridges just seem so anti-V and not historically correct to me.

  7. @Buck Rogers I carry both CO2 and a minipump. I flatted on Saturday (going downhill at 45kph–thank godness it wasn’t in a turn) and if I didn’t have the CO2, I’d probably still be on the side of the road pumping up my tire. The minipump is a back-up to the CO2 (which is a finite resource).

  8. @CanuckChuck

    @Buck Rogers I carry both CO2 and a minipump. I flatted on Saturday (going downhill at 45kph-thank godness it wasn’t in a turn) and if I didn’t have the CO2, I’d probably still be on the side of the road pumping up my tire. The minipump is a back-up to the CO2 (which is a finite resource).

    Oh come on now.  It’s not that hard to pump them up with a mini pump.

    I flat a few times every year and always only have my mini pump with me.

    Time to HTFU! 

    But please do not go out of your way to make me flat on the Cogal in October as I really do not want to have to prove my point!  Those tubs aren’t cheap!

  9. Just finished an early morning ride in the mountains, between the ride and seeing that photo it has set me up for an awesome day…  funny how things work

  10. @cw

    it is :
    Walter Diggelmann repairs a tyre during the Tour de Suisse, 1950. © Swiss National Museum
    via: http://www.musee-suisse.ch/e/zuerich/presse/medienmitteilungen.php?we_objectID=7377

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walter_Diggelmann

    Just awesome!  Too cool.  THAT is what I love about this site.

    Here’s a link with a little more info on Walter:

    http://www.cyclingarchives.com/coureurfiche.php?coureurid=8253

    Hell, at least I got the Swiss nationality right!

  11. @Buck Rogers

    Oh come on now. It’s not that hard to pump them up with a mini pump.
    I flat a few times every year and always only have my mini pump with me.

    Time to HTFU!

    We can replace the drunk roller’s contest with a tire minipump inflation contest!

  12. @CanuckChuck

    @Buck Rogers

    Oh come on now. It’s not that hard to pump them up with a mini pump.
    I flat a few times every year and always only have my mini pump with me.

    Time to HTFU!

    We can replace the drunk roller’s contest with a tire minipump inflation contest!

    Damn!  We’re not selling the Cogal very well here, are we?

  13. @Buck Rogers As long as you can order up the same perfect weather as we had last year, shouldn’t be problem. (Doesn’t the the army have a super secret weather control weapon you could request a test of that day?)

  14. I equate folk who carry only CO2 cartridges and no pump with those numptys who insist on going up our mountains with only a GPS and no map & compass. I will help them, but find it hard to sympathsize.

  15. @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    or a section of old side-wall from binned tyre. I’ve never used them, someone smarter than I thought of that. Folded up currency works well.

  16. @strathlubnaig

    I equate folk who carry only CO2 cartridges and no pump with those numptys who insist on going up our mountains with only a GPS and no map & compass. I will help them, but find it hard to sympathsize.

    +1

    A mini pump is the gift that keeps on giving (don’t overdo it though, you don’t want too much muscle on those grimpeur’s arms); CO2 will leave you looking foolish if you have a malcoordinated moment – I’ve seen it done!

  17. Wow, its like someone took a picture of me when I flatted last Friday night. The resemblance is uncanny. First there’s the bike sans front wheel, then the discarded tyre. And then, well I guess the resemblance ends. Still, makes me feel better that it happens to the best of us.

  18. His sock height is defining the upper limit of acceptability, and looking awesome as he does it. Those shoes must have folded over the pedals. They would have killed for some carbon fiber soles.

  19. Riding alone, it is pump and co2.  Riding in company i get them to take the pump on the agreement that the first two flats get to use my co2 regardless of which of us flats.

    in winter co2 is a godsend simply for speed of getting back on the bike and riding.  It is not a hardman who stands in freezing rain pump in hand……it is a man who wished he had a faster alternative.  Htfu applies to deploying your guns….not luddite foolishness.

    now if you happen to be attending strada bianchi in the italian sunshine with a cheeky chianti in your Bidon then be my guest and take your time….otherwise i highly recommend co2.

    big debate on this last year here and it was enough to convert me.

  20. @Gianni

    His sock height is defining the upper limit of acceptability, and looking awesome as he does it. Those shoes must have folded over the pedals. They would have killed for some carbon fiber soles.

    Agreed, but one has to consider sock length to shorts length. Rider X can get away with the longer socks as his shorts are correspondingly shorter. This is not a Wiggo scenario where both shorts and socks are too long. It all about proportionality (if that’s a word).

    Agreed too on the shoes. My first pair of cycling shoes were Rivat touring shoes. All leather. Flat sole and if I remember a very thin heel. About as stiff as flip flops they were.

  21. @Gianni

    @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    or a section of old side-wall from binned tyre. I’ve never used them, someone smarter than I thought of that. Folded up currency works well.

    So does a cut up strip from a tyvek mailing envelope or a mylar candy bar wrapper.

    @Gianni

    His sock height is defining the upper limit of acceptability, and looking awesome as he does it.

    I think the fact that his short length is also on the upper limit of acceptability helps with the awesomeness.

  22. @Buck Rogers

    That’s not Hugo Koblet is it? He rode for the Fiorelli team in 1948.

    I’d be very surprised if it’s Koblet. He had people to fix his flats because he was way too cool to do such a menial task himself. It might be a domestique fixing Koblet’s tire. If so, Koblet will be sitting out of shot in a stance of superb casual deliberation combing his hair and chatting up a comely maiden.

  23. @strathlubnaig

    @TBONE $6.50 for a tire boot ? I just carry a couple strips of old inner tube for such events.

    $6.50 for four. I’m down to three, had a blowout last week. They work like a charm, too.

    @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    Canada’s smallest bill is $5. I save my ‘Merican dollars for the strippers or for the vending machine at the Mt. Baker daylodge. Subway stopped doing the stamps in Canada years ago.

    My minipump can CO2 cartridges as well, you just thread it into the pump head. Very handy!

  24. @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    That’s not Hugo Koblet is it? He rode for the Fiorelli team in 1948.

    I’d be very surprised if it’s Koblet. He had people to fix his flats because he was way too cool to do such a menial task himself. It might be a domestique fixing Koblet’s tire. If so, Koblet will be sitting out of shot in a stance of superb casual deliberation combing his hair and chatting up a comely maiden.

    Yes!  Seems all the shots of him are either looking fabulous on the bike or combing his hair!  Turns out it’s one Walter Diggelmann which @cw figured out and posted.  Great fun trying to figure it out, though.

  25. @Buck Rogers

    @CanuckChuck

    @Buck Rogers I carry both CO2 and a minipump. I flatted on Saturday (going downhill at 45kph-thank godness it wasn’t in a turn) and if I didn’t have the CO2, I’d probably still be on the side of the road pumping up my tire. The minipump is a back-up to the CO2 (which is a finite resource).

    Oh come on now. It’s not that hard to pump them up with a mini pump.

    I flat a few times every year and always only have my mini pump with me.

    Time to HTFU!

    But please do not go out of your way to make me flat on the Cogal in October as I really do not want to have to prove my point! Those tubs aren’t cheap!

    Both elegant, both beautiful. I use the pump only these days because its lighter. When on clinchers, I use a latex tube in my pocket with a Lezyne patch kit. If I flat, I figure I have a few hail-marys’ before I’m stuck.

    The minipump is definitely way slower than the CO2, but unless I’m racing, I don’t really care. 99.9% of the time, I’m riding with the gear in my pocket, not fixing a flat, so I concentrate on having the baggage be as light as possible.

  26. @AndroidG

    Wow, its like someone took a picture of me when I flatted last Friday night. The resemblance is uncanny. First there’s the bike sans front wheel, then the discarded tyre. And then, well I guess the resemblance ends. Still, makes me feel better that it happens to the best of us.

    Ha!  That made me laugh.  Thanks for that!

  27. @Fausto

    @strathlubnaig

    I equate folk who carry only CO2 cartridges and no pump with those numptys who insist on going up our mountains with only a GPS and no map & compass. I will help them, but find it hard to sympathsize.

    +1

    A mini pump is the gift that keeps on giving (don’t overdo it though, you don’t want too much muscle on those grimpeur’s arms); CO2 will leave you looking foolish if you have a malcoordinated moment – I’ve seen it done!

    The worst for me was perfectly inflating in the rain, followed by astonishment as the core came out as I unscrewed the chuck – completely frozen together!

  28. Actually thinking about it now…..anyone tried the co2 mini pump combos…?

  29. @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    I’ve seen instances of sidewall tear where a dollar bill didn’t work at all, but a tire boot (self-adhesive) was enough to get the rider back to the car. I’ve also used them myself after getting a bad screwhole in the tire. Won’t go anywhere without at least one anymore.

  30. @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    That’s not Hugo Koblet is it? He rode for the Fiorelli team in 1948.

    I’d be very surprised if it’s Koblet. He had people to fix his flats because he was way too cool to do such a menial task himself. It might be a domestique fixing Koblet’s tire. If so, Koblet will be sitting out of shot in a stance of superb casual deliberation combing his hair and chatting up a comely maiden.

    Top marks. Also much too sensible about sock length to wear those monsters.

    [dmalbum: path=”/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/frank/2013.08.19.12.24.29/1//”/]

  31. @Xyverz

    @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    I’ve seen instances of sidewall tear where a dollar bill didn’t work at all, but a tire boot (self-adhesive) was enough to get the rider back to the car. I’ve also used them myself after getting a bad screwhole in the tire. Won’t go anywhere without at least one anymore.

    These are stonkingly good….the instruction card even has a peelable back and acts as n adhesive tyre boot!  Once the boot has been used i replace it with a parktools one cut in half….voila!

  32. @Xyverz

    @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    I’ve seen instances of sidewall tear where a dollar bill didn’t work at all, but a tire boot (self-adhesive) was enough to get the rider back to the car. I’ve also used them myself after getting a bad screwhole in the tire. Won’t go anywhere without at least one anymore.

    The US Dollar is not what it once was………

  33. @TBONE

    @VeloVita

    @Gianni

    @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    or a section of old side-wall from binned tyre. I’ve never used them, someone smarter than I thought of that. Folded up currency works well.

    So does a cut up strip from a tyvek mailing envelope or a mylar candy bar wrapper.

    @Gianni

    His sock height is defining the upper limit of acceptability, and looking awesome as he does it.

    I think the fact that his short length is also on the upper limit of acceptability helps with the awesomeness.

    Blow out/Gash liners come wrapped around every delicious Meli Waffle. Why would you buy any other kind?

  34. After moving to Belgium, I was informed that a mini-pump is considered superior to CO2 on the basis that if one is serious about one’s ride, then one needs a way to maintain a high heart rate while changing a flat. Of course that was translated roughly from Vlaams to English by a third party(I am only just yet learning the mother-tongue). It was a rough translation to my understanding, but I was told it was “close enough” by a smirking hardman in the rain.

  35. Perhaps not quite suitable for AOP this is an absolute gem. One can only hope that it will find its way to #PeterSagan as an example of how to please the press, the tifosi and the podium girl without demeaning anyone.

  36. @Deakus

    in winter co2 is a godsend simply for speed of getting back on the bike and riding. It is not a hardman who stands in freezing rain pump in hand……it is a man who wished he had a faster alternative. Htfu applies to deploying your guns….not luddite foolishness.

    …and you’re out riding your bike rather than driving in a heated car, because why?

    I’m a convert to the pump. Of course, shoes should be black and socks white, too.

  37. @Teocalli

    @Xyverz

    @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    I’ve seen instances of sidewall tear where a dollar bill didn’t work at all, but a tire boot (self-adhesive) was enough to get the rider back to the car. I’ve also used them myself after getting a bad screwhole in the tire. Won’t go anywhere without at least one anymore.

    The US Dollar is not what it once was………

    Sadly, this is true. I was told that to do the work that $1 USD did back in “the day” you have to at least use a $20 bill now. ;-)

  38. @TBONE I think to use CO2 bottles is soft.  A good pump (I like Lezyne and quality, useability and style) is far more practical.  When your mate, who lacks V has his second puncture and has no more CO2, what will you charge for the use of your pump?  1 coffee or 2?

  39. Sorry, tipped over the edge into homoeroticism and weird OCDness. I’ve earned my living by swinging a sledge hammer for eight hours. When you’ve done the “it hurts but it’s paying the rent equation” this kind of bollocks really is not acceptable… Tears, use the sandpaper out of your puncture repair kit and when it fails carry the fucker home… Jesus wept….

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.