As surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you ride a bicycle you can bet your ass against an apple that you are going to get a flat. Not if, but when. Death and taxes, and all that.

This could be Pierre or Antonio or Jean-Michel, most likely a name that rolls off the tongue with the same ease he rolled his dead tubular from the rim. The strokes of the pump as powerful and smooth as the strokes of his guns, as precise and clean as his socks, skin tanned and polished like the shoes on his feet, tough like the gloves on his hands.

This is an ambassador of Looking Fantastic; he would never contemplate turning his steed upside down, and surely this moment was an instigator of Rule #49. And you know that the shredded tub laying there will soon be wrapped around the shoulders in full Rule #77 compliance prior to resuming to Lay Down The V.

Pierre, Antonio, whatever be your name, we salute you for pioneering the Art of Awesome and being Compliant as Fuck in those tough days of yore.

Brett

Don't blame me

View Comments

  • @Rob

    @johnthughes

    @Gianni

    @johnthughes

    After moving to Belgium, I was informed that a mini-pump is considered superior to CO2 on the basis that if one is serious about one's ride, then one needs a way to maintain a high heart rate while changing a flat. Of course that was translated roughly from Vlaams to English by a third party(I am only just yet learning the mother-tongue). It was a rough translation to my understanding, but I was told it was "close enough" by a smirking hardman in the rain.

    Do keep us informed on the conversion to a Belgian life. Vlaams seems like a tough one to pick up. Keep us posted with more "smirking hardman" anecdotes.

    The language is both easy(Lots of words that are the same or very similar) and hard(words and sounds that don't exist in US english; 'd's that sound like 't's, 'b's that sound like 'p's, 't's that sound like 'c's except for "sometimes")...and it is a challenge. Necessary though. Everyone in my club can speak english...except when we are riding, then it is all Vlaams. To be honest, I have been here for 2.5 years and am just now working on the language with any seriousness(I am a bit ashamed about that). As for conversion....I have been sold since my arrival here. I love the US, but I am not coming back permanently if I have any choice. I plan to live and die in Belgium. Cycling is such a different thing here(possibly an obvious statement). From the worst of it; solo canal work in a headwind that will strip every layer of ego you didn't know you had; but still awesome. To the best of it; a house in the Ardennes for a week, riding the roads around Houffalize, La Roche-en-Ardennes, and up to Signal Botrange and Baraque Michelle. Or still amazing, if not less majestic, just the Wednesday night ride with the club, tucked into a peloton of 30 riders, just one of 3-5 groups from my club(a small one) out on the canals with many many other clubs, as if it were some kind of giant stage race involving the whole country. Winter is a whole other story....still filled with cycling. Never have I looked outside on a sunday morning just above freezing and thought "Just 30 more minutes and its time meet the group and go ride, I can't wait!", but here....here it is like a drug. I have headed out into the worst of weather, and not once ever regretted it after. For me a long ride was 50 miles, and 100 miles was a mystery to worry about. Here, there is no trepidation. Ride with the club to the sea and back with a pasta lunch in between(230km)? Sure! The LvdK(Lady van de Kempen) says "Lets just ride to Malmedey(from Antwerp) and back this weekend. It's just 190km each way. And we get to ride up and over the highest point in Belgium[admitedly not saying much]. We can stay at the youth hostel and drink the local beers." and I reply "Of course, lets go!". I am not sure why I just wrote all this. I guess I should have just wrote "I'll do my best to report back any quotes I can." I'll try to keep it more terse next time.

    Cheers

    Another convert here, 3.5 years long in the most beautiful world of cycling as well. I recently bought a house in Ottignies just outside of Brussels having had enough of the city and I'm so glad I did. The 30km, 400m elevation commute that I try to sneak in 2-3 times a week is absolute heaven. Even better when I can sneak out of Brussels through rolling flemish countryside (Leefdaal/Vossem) to add another couple hundred meters of elevation and double the length of the ride. In just two months of doing this I no longer shy away from the 16% maximum gradients, but instead put my head down, spinning my way to the top, fully aware that my day will not get better than this moment. I feel a certain sense of pride being on a Flemish Compact (53/39) but must admit to running a 12-30 rear necessitated by a recent trip to the Stelvio, Gavia, and other hallowed climbs in the Italian/Swiss Alps. I hope one day I can be worthy of this country so full of 60+ year old men who can climb those same 16% grades on a 53/25 and still make it look smooth.

    I've been recently trying to add distance, muscle, and lose weight (down to 72.8kg) in an effort to take this cultural conversion a bit more seriously. This last weekend I did a tour of Wallonia exploring some of the Ravel network (thousands of kilometers of rail conversion paved trails) and the Canal paths between Ottignies-Nivelles-Charleroi and back home. It involved 135km with 20km head winds, constant heavy rain, and 3 flats but even in this my new home country was quite loving and gentle with me. She gave me the three flats in the very beginning of the ride, when it hadn't started raining yet, and while I could still taste the pre ride espresso, enjoy the company of some grazing cattle, and watch the sunrise come up over the predawn valley. Anyone who commutes in Belgium knows not to complain when flats occur with such fortitude, lest they anger the cycling gods on their commute in less favorable conditions. Even the later headwind and rain was just the country gently reminding me as to the nature of Belgian cycling. We have had 2 months of perfect weather, and it was time to be reminded that winter is already on its way. I struggled to stay dry this past winter as I cycled no matter what the weather. When I asked a flemish hardman for his advice on the topic his response was not some secret and costly piece of gear, rather, to just Rule #5 & 9 and get used to enjoying the weather. I know it was just 135km, and was still a balmy 18 degrees, but I've never enjoyed such a ride in such weather so thoroughly. Next weekend I'll be trying this and fully expect to meet the man with the hammer.

    http://www.velomediane.com/

    I am American, Texan even, and miss my family and occasionally my country and language, but I too can't ever see going back. I've got the house, found my fiancée/VMH, have a second family now, speak more French each month, am just hours away from motoring heaven in Germany, and while the Alps might have the true claim on cycling heaven, Belgium is certainly the front yard. The only thing left to do is cycle more, enjoy, and be polite and brush up on my Vlaams.

    VLVV

    @Rob good to hear another kindred spirit. If you get a free day or two let me recommend catching a train to Mastricht and then riding over the mountain to Malmedy and staying at the youth hostel. First quarter is rolling foothills(passing through the American Cemetary in Henri-Chapelle; somber but very beautiful), middle half is unending climb, first through a forest, and then up Baraque Michel(dont' forget to take the 5km detour to visit Signal Botrange), then the last 1/4 is at first a super beautiful straight decent that turns into a beautiful twisty rollercoaster ride. The hostel is clean, cheap, and has a bar that has a very nice selection of local beers, and to be honest was more adulty than youthy.

    Here is a map

    technically the map is my(and the LvdK's) route from Antwerpen, but can be followed from Mastricht, which is passes through. It is much faster on the return trip....oh, the decent on the way back!!! Something close to 20km of decent. The payout is definitely on the return.

  • I always prefer giving it a good long pumping myself, just blowing up there in one short burst just never feels right.

    And I certainly never turn it over, always lay it on its side.

    Have I misread the mood here??

  • @the Engine

    @unversio

    Reverence for the 36 hole wheel too.

    That I still run on both my road bikes...

    Took 36h GP4s out on a mountain road race (French Broad Cycling Classic -- Marshall NC) 2 years ago. Need to finish up 36h Victory Stradas w/ Silver Record or Chorus hubs. Need a 9 or 10 speed rear hub at the moment. Front wheel is already built w/ Chorus. I want to start riding these more often next year.

  • @Pedale.Forchetta

    This photo is just beautiful.

    Yes it is.  The almost square aspect ratio makes me think of a Rolleiflex.  The shallow depth of field and composition work together to create a very 3 dimensional rendering.  The visual elements pull you deeper and deeper into the image...tube, cyclist, bike, roadway, curve in the distance.  Superb detail and contrast - look at the cycling shorts - they are inky black and yet you can still pick out the detail in the fabric. 

    The quality of images posted on this site are very good and are one of the things that drew me to you. 

    Awesome stuff!

  • When I first got my bike I foolishly inverted it to clean.  Chain degreaser managed to make it's way back to the saddle and has now forever discoloured a portion of it.  There is also a small scuff on the stem that will serve as reminder. 

    I have since purchased a Park Tools Race Stand - a life changing acquisition for me!  What a delight to use.  Your bike locks in at a nice workable hight and can be adjusted up or down to preference and spun around for easy access to whatever it is that you're doing. 

  • @kixsand

    When I first got my bike I foolishly inverted it to clean. Chain degreaser managed to make it's way back to the saddle and has now forever discoloured a portion of it. There is also a small scuff on the stem that will serve as reminder.

    I have since purchased a Park Tools Race Stand - a life changing acquisition for me! What a delight to use. Your bike locks in at a nice workable hight and can be adjusted up or down to preference and spun around for easy access to whatever it is that you're doing.

    Aha i have been eyeing up one of these for imminent purchase...it is that or the pcs-10 more traditional workstand...any views from the community?

  • God I love this site. Where else could anyone find such an amazing photograph which is critiqued and analysed from so many viewpoints (even a more than educated estimation of the aspect ratio). Add to this inspiring, evocative, off the cuff essays about living and cycling in Belgium. Tomorrow, I will ride - whatever.

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