As surely as the sun rises in the east and sets in the west, if you ride a bicycle you can bet your ass against an apple that you are going to get a flat. Not if, but when. Death and taxes, and all that.

This could be Pierre or Antonio or Jean-Michel, most likely a name that rolls off the tongue with the same ease he rolled his dead tubular from the rim. The strokes of the pump as powerful and smooth as the strokes of his guns, as precise and clean as his socks, skin tanned and polished like the shoes on his feet, tough like the gloves on his hands.

This is an ambassador of Looking Fantastic; he would never contemplate turning his steed upside down, and surely this moment was an instigator of Rule #49. And you know that the shredded tub laying there will soon be wrapped around the shoulders in full Rule #77 compliance prior to resuming to Lay Down The V.

Pierre, Antonio, whatever be your name, we salute you for pioneering the Art of Awesome and being Compliant as Fuck in those tough days of yore.

Brett

Don't blame me

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  • @Gianni

    @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE...
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    or a section of old side-wall from binned tyre. I've never used them, someone smarter than I thought of that. Folded up currency works well.

    So does a cut up strip from a tyvek mailing envelope or a mylar candy bar wrapper.

    @Gianni

    His sock height is defining the upper limit of acceptability, and looking awesome as he does it.

    I think the fact that his short length is also on the upper limit of acceptability helps with the awesomeness.

  • @Buck Rogers

    That's not Hugo Koblet is it? He rode for the Fiorelli team in 1948.

    I'd be very surprised if it's Koblet. He had people to fix his flats because he was way too cool to do such a menial task himself. It might be a domestique fixing Koblet's tire. If so, Koblet will be sitting out of shot in a stance of superb casual deliberation combing his hair and chatting up a comely maiden.

  • @strathlubnaig

    @TBONE $6.50 for a tire boot ? I just carry a couple strips of old inner tube for such events.

    $6.50 for four. I'm down to three, had a blowout last week. They work like a charm, too.

    @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE...
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    Canada's smallest bill is $5. I save my 'Merican dollars for the strippers or for the vending machine at the Mt. Baker daylodge. Subway stopped doing the stamps in Canada years ago.

    My minipump can CO2 cartridges as well, you just thread it into the pump head. Very handy!

  • @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    That's not Hugo Koblet is it? He rode for the Fiorelli team in 1948.

    I'd be very surprised if it's Koblet. He had people to fix his flats because he was way too cool to do such a menial task himself. It might be a domestique fixing Koblet's tire. If so, Koblet will be sitting out of shot in a stance of superb casual deliberation combing his hair and chatting up a comely maiden.

    Yes!  Seems all the shots of him are either looking fabulous on the bike or combing his hair!  Turns out it's one Walter Diggelmann which @cw figured out and posted.  Great fun trying to figure it out, though.

  • @Buck Rogers

    @CanuckChuck

    @Buck Rogers I carry both CO2 and a minipump. I flatted on Saturday (going downhill at 45kph-thank godness it wasn't in a turn) and if I didn't have the CO2, I'd probably still be on the side of the road pumping up my tire. The minipump is a back-up to the CO2 (which is a finite resource).

    Oh come on now. It's not that hard to pump them up with a mini pump.

    I flat a few times every year and always only have my mini pump with me.

    Time to HTFU!

    But please do not go out of your way to make me flat on the Cogal in October as I really do not want to have to prove my point! Those tubs aren't cheap!

    Both elegant, both beautiful. I use the pump only these days because its lighter. When on clinchers, I use a latex tube in my pocket with a Lezyne patch kit. If I flat, I figure I have a few hail-marys' before I'm stuck.

    The minipump is definitely way slower than the CO2, but unless I'm racing, I don't really care. 99.9% of the time, I'm riding with the gear in my pocket, not fixing a flat, so I concentrate on having the baggage be as light as possible.

  • @AndroidG

    Wow, its like someone took a picture of me when I flatted last Friday night. The resemblance is uncanny. First there's the bike sans front wheel, then the discarded tyre. And then, well I guess the resemblance ends. Still, makes me feel better that it happens to the best of us.

    Ha!  That made me laugh.  Thanks for that!

  • @Fausto

    @strathlubnaig

    I equate folk who carry only CO2 cartridges and no pump with those numptys who insist on going up our mountains with only a GPS and no map & compass. I will help them, but find it hard to sympathsize.

    +1

    A mini pump is the gift that keeps on giving (don't overdo it though, you don't want too much muscle on those grimpeur's arms); CO2 will leave you looking foolish if you have a malcoordinated moment - I've seen it done!

    The worst for me was perfectly inflating in the rain, followed by astonishment as the core came out as I unscrewed the chuck - completely frozen together!

  • @cw

    @strathlubnaig & @TBONE...
    or a dollar bill or subway card (if you live in a subwayed area) both work very well.

    I've seen instances of sidewall tear where a dollar bill didn't work at all, but a tire boot (self-adhesive) was enough to get the rider back to the car. I've also used them myself after getting a bad screwhole in the tire. Won't go anywhere without at least one anymore.

  • @wiscot

    @Buck Rogers

    That's not Hugo Koblet is it? He rode for the Fiorelli team in 1948.

    I'd be very surprised if it's Koblet. He had people to fix his flats because he was way too cool to do such a menial task himself. It might be a domestique fixing Koblet's tire. If so, Koblet will be sitting out of shot in a stance of superb casual deliberation combing his hair and chatting up a comely maiden.

    Top marks. Also much too sensible about sock length to wear those monsters.

    [dmalbum: path="/velominati.com/wp-content/uploads/readers/frank/2013.08.19.12.24.29/1//"/]

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