Along the lines of what Bruce Dickinson famously decreed while espousing the medical benefits of cowbell in the remedy of rare types of influenza, I put my shoes on one at a time – just like you. But after I’ve got my shoes on, I ooze fluidly harmonic articulation.
As Cyclists, we wield the mighty power of The V, yet lay victim to the nagging whispers of Doubt, from which the Anti-V draws its strength. We train our bodies, keep our machines in perfect order, and maintain a variety of kit for every type of weather, only to waver as this poison bleeds into our minds. We counter by seeking to control the uncontrollable through a strict adherence to ritual prior to and following each of our rides.
The ritual surrounding the ride is unique to each of us, and evolves over time, and perpetuates those actions which yielded better-then-usual rides. For instance, despite being right-handed, I slip into my shoes left first, and moving through a systematic process of buckling them up prior to each bike. I sit down on the front steps, pause for a moment to draw in a breath, slip out of my Adilettes, and slip into my shoes.
I start by arranging the tongue of first the left shoe, then the right. Then I secure the front velcro strap on the left before moving to do the same on the right. Once I’m satisfied that both straps are of precisely equal tension, I will move to tighten the left buckle, then the right until similarly satisfied of tension equality. Changing this process in any way, I’m convinced, would yield utter chaos.
Ritual goes far beyond how we put our shoes on; it reaches into the maintenance of our machines as well as their preparation for a ride as well as preparation of bidons and our kit. Bits of my ritual change based on whether I am riding from home or some other location, whether the ride is a big one or just a daily jaunt, or whether it is a formal event for which I have prepared carefully. Other things, however, remain fixed.
I always inflate the rear tire first, never the front. I’ll pull on the front and rear brakes to make sure the cables didn’t fall out overnight, and run through all the gears – listening for silence – even though I’ll have tuned it after arriving home last time if any tuning was required. When I pull on my kit, bibs go on first, socks second, under-vest third. Only at this point do I consider other elements such as whether I’m wearing arm and/or knee warmers, or which jersey to put on. Lastly, I’ll carefully inspect my toolkit prior to tucking it into my middle rear pocket.
I suppose that at the center of this lies a simple belief: in a world wherein much lies out of my control, I represent but a simple cell of a larger organism. I cannot say what influence these actions have, but if the past is any indication of the future, these actions have helped keep me happily pedaling my bike. To stop would be to tempt Fate itself.
Therefor, I wrap myself in ritual to control the uncontrollable. Vive la Vie Velominatus.
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@Cyclops Great stuff...it is amazing how the skills with a camera vary from celeb to celeb!
@graham d.m.
My wife is also from Iowa. From Beaman in the middle of Iowa. Explains why we are planning our summer holidays on heading back from London to do RAGBRAI next year.
@Cyclops
I think this is great and I suspect the "celebs" likely get a kick out of it because your buddy's not asking for a photo with them (that'll end up god knows where) but putting a twist on what must be a rather tiresome aspect of their lives.
@zeitzmar
Welcome to the fold! I think some new pedals, a new saddle and bar tape and a wee bit of fitting advice and you'll be in very good shape. The bike looks great and in good nick for its age. It's not what you've got, but what you do with it that counts.
I'm much like G'Phant in that my nickname should be Captain F' Around. My friends have other names for me which aren't neArly as cool. Due to the lack of any true ritual or method for getting ready, I am a hot mess trying to get on the road. if I'm doing a Special ride I may pull out a certain kit the night before but usually it's grabbing stuff out of a drawer in the dark and maybe looking like I was dressed by a color blind soigneur which requires that I have to repeatedly go back to said drawer and probably wake up the Velomama (it's early- she'll go back to sleep).GPS & phone charged? ... maybe. grab some breakfast and put a snack in my pocket for the road.... or did I leave it on the counter again? Once I make out of the house & to the bike room all bets are off as to when I will leave. Carefully pump each tire to proper pressure ,give each wheel a spin to make sure my wheels haven't somehow out of true overnight, check for any tire damage then squeeze each brake lever few times. ready yet? I may decide to do some quick (relatively) adjustment or wipe down my frame if deemed too dirty. A quick look at the time and I'm pretty sure I can catch the group if I really haul ass... and if I dont catch them it will still be a great day because I'm on my bike. VLVV!
I find all of this quite comforting, I'm not drifting into some sort of age/drink related dementia/OCD hybrid. I've never really given this much thought before whilst there is a definite pattern to my preparation, it's based in a natural order of doing things (and the improved chance of leaving the house with everything that organisation ensures) rather than a need to religiously follow a process fearing the consequences of not doing so.
My bike is always in the same place in my study (much to Mrs Chris' annoyance) as is my pump so I always approach my bike from the same direction to get it ready. Most of my rides are early in the morning before the family are up so I don't want to be banging around at that end of the house getting ready but the neighbours walk their dogs early and can see into the kitchen so a certain level of decorum is called for.
If for some reason the process is interrupted and the order is changed, it doesn't screw with my mind and niggle for the rest of the ride.
Most of my group rides start at the same time work ends, so my pre-ride ritual is to frantically stuff food into my mouth while pulling on my cycling gear in precisely the wrong order, and finally sprinting out the door without remembering some critical item (water, usually).
I think that I need a job that interferes less with my cycling.
@ChrisO
I agree with this for myself as well. I have specific spots in the house where I keep all my gear and generally go through getting ready in the same order each ride just because it makes sense, but nothing that "has" to be done in any specific way, such as one shoes before the other or whatever.
The only thing I do exactly the same each ride is which jersey pockets all my gear goes into. Left pocket is for food, middle pocket is for repair kit, right pocket is for phone and some kleenex. Always the same order for this.
@ChrisO, @Chris, @mcsqueak
Same here. Especially because, like Chris, I ride early a lot when the rest of the house is asleep. If I have everything cued up properly, I can get dressed, have coffee & a small breakfast, fill my pockets, check tires and be off in about 25 minutes, and be quiet doing it. In other words, I get all the fucking around done the night before, when it's evening and I can enjoy the process with a beer in hand.
@Ron
When I was racing skis, I got incredibly ritualistic about how I prep'd my skis - counting how many times I scraped, brushed and polished the bases. Also superstitious - making sure never to touch the bases with my skin and so forth.
When it came time to racing; all important races were done only in one set of lenses and gloves - the others were all cursed. And, of course, the prep ritual at the start gate was key. All very Casually Deliberate, but all very focussed on left foot right foot, tap the poles together, arrange shades, make sure hat is on right...