General

Beer in the Bidon: Field Test Update


Initially, “Beer in the Bidon” was to be a single, definitive posting, an authoritative ranking of the single best variety of the single best and most important cycling performance beverage yet devised by the hand of man: beer. “Beer?” you ask. That’s right, beer (and say hello to your mother for me). Or, to put it another way, liquid guns. Packed full of easily accessible calories from simple carbohydrates (the simple starches of barley and wheat””and corn and rice, depending on what you are drinking””made simpler still by various degrees of malting, releasing the sugars), presented in readily available liquid form, recently vindicated as a recovery drink, a net hydrator in single servings, chalked full of testosterone and awesome, and oh-so-delicious, Our Heavenly Beverage turns out to be the ideal””in fact the ONLY”””sports drink” of choice for the hard-souled, hard-assed, hardman of our time.

But as it turns out, much as the cobbles of Paris-Roubaix require a vastly different set of skills and equipment than the slopes of the Tourmalet, so too do the variations and nuances of each ride””undertaken by a particular individual in unique conditions””explode the notion of a single, dominating mélange of malt and hops. Whereas this project’s failures have reflected poor beer choices””PBR, as you might imagine, served me poorly in the wallowing heat of Idaho’s desert foothills””its successes have come at the confluence of quality beverages and wise situational decision-making. There are certainly superior cycling beers””the GC contenders of the beverage world””but as with any day on any Grand Tour, any number of ales, lagers, and stouts have a good chance to take the day. Consequently, “Beer in the Bidon” has morphed from a single post into a series””a guidebook, if you will, for the careful application of all that is right and good in the world (beer) to all that is right and good in the world (cycling).

Taste in beer, of course, like preference of hood angle or pedal float, varies infinitely within a limited acceptable range, and far be it from me to set draconian rules for pairing your ride and your beer. But because your favorite beer may not always be the best beer for cycling domination, I have taken the liberty to provide a few guidelines for choosing a beverage that will put you at the top of your game on a given day and a given ride.

Begin by asking yourself: why am I drinking this beer? There is only one answer: domination. But there are many aspects to domination that must be balanced against each other. Physical domination, of course, is paramount. Here, there are three main things to consider:

  1. Calories. You want them. Beer has them. In general, beers with more calories will serve you better on the bike.
  2. Alcohol. Unfortunately, many high-calorie beers also have a high percentage ABV (alcohol by volume). Alcohol is not necessarily your enemy””anyone caught drinking Sharp’s on a bike must be beaten severely about the head and shoulders and ridiculed to the point of submission””but it bears remembering that alcohol and lactic acid are chemically and in some ways physiologically very similar. A little bit of alcohol can take just the tiniest edge off of the pain””either physically or mentally””but too much and you will first lose your desire to win, then your focus, and eventually your bike handling skills. The trick is to find a beer that balances high calories (150-200 per 12 oz) with relatively low ABV (4-5% is pretty ideal, but anything below 6% will usually do). Chimay, for all its meaning in the cycling world, is at 9% not for the bidon. Brown Ales and Amber Ales typically have the best calorie-to-ABV ratios, but at 209 calories and 5.6% ABV, it’s tough to beat Anchor Porter here. Each individual will have a different tolerance, however, and, of course, different tastes. Watch out for IPAs; they are tasty and refreshing but often too fruity and alcoholic to be effective as performance beverages.
  3. Awesomeness. Though highly subjective, it is important to drink a beer that makes you feel good. Heavily carbonated beers, while nice for sitting around the BBQ after dominating your morning metric century, generally suck on the bike. Nitrogenated beers like Guinness tend to go down easy and stay down easy, as often does witbier. One tip here is to pour your beer with a thick head a good 15 or 20 minutes before you get on the bike and leave the top of the bidon open so the beer can breathe a bit. It’ll be on your bike; I guarantee it won’t be flat.

There is a second type of domination to consider when choosing your beer, however, and that is mental domination. Here there are two types:

  1. Self-domination (sometimes known as Rule #5). This has as much to do with when to put beer in your bidon as it does with which beer to choose. A Velominatus””even an unorthodox one””does not drink beer with every ride. Quite the contrary, only certain particularly challenging, unpleasant, or important rides, be they training rides, group rides, or races, merit the unleashing of the liquid guns. Your beer should not make your ride casual; rather, it should demonstrate your confidence that you are a fucking badass who is not afraid to put a little bit of depressant in his body while tackling Mont Ventoux in the rain. When you feel the hurt, your beer will help you hurt the hurt back. As a general rule, beer should not accompany rides under an hour unless they are uphill time trials, in which case they should be shotgunned at the starting line, the empties handed nonchalantly to the starter when he begins his countdown. Heartier beers tend to support harder men, but again, conditions, tolerance, and taste affect these decisions.
  2. Dominating others. Sipping on a Stove Pipe Porter while mashing the big ring sends a very clear message that a Bud Light simply does not send. No showboating here; this should be subtle and nonchalant, and is typically best accomplished with a darker beer in a clear bidon.

Within the rubrics of physical and mental domination, there are also a few things to consider when it comes time to actually choose your beer on the day of your ride. Again, these are guidelines, built from experience, not hard and fast rules.

  1. Weather. For a wide variety of reasons, the best time to drink beer is when you are riding in bad weather. In general, the colder it is, the darker your beer should be. My best pairing so far has been the Sierra Nevada Porter in 40º rain on the Tour de Blast. Hefty, dark, high calorie beer is often served between 40º and 50º, and cool temperatures make it possible to take in your liquid guns slowly over time, which is most effective. As it gets warmer, so too should your beer get somewhat lighter and your drinking of it get faster. Below 55º, consider primarily stouts and porters. Between 55º and 70º, look to your brown and amber ales, and then move into lagers (if you like them), summer ales (Deschutes Twighlight is a good choice here), and some pale ales for temperatures between 70º and 85º. When it is over 85º, consider leaving the beer at home. Otherwise, I suggest either a pilsner, consumed quickly early in the ride, or, most effective in the heat, a witbier, brought dangerously close to freezing and removed from the ice box as the last thing you do before you get on your bike. Beltian White from Harvest Moon Brewery in Belt, Montana (also known as Montana Cream Soda) is the new boss for me in the heat.
  2. The ride. So many factors are in play here, but there are really only two that matter: road conditions and elevation change. Road conditions involve both safety and your beer’s performance. If the road is going to be pretty rough, consider a nitrogenated beer that won’t foam as violently. If it is wet, gravelly, bumpy, steep, or otherwise treacherous, bear in mind the effects of even a moderate amount of alcohol on your bike handling skills and go for a low ABV. As for climbing, think about where the climb is on the ride. If you have 5K at 7% in the first 10K on a warm day, you’re going to want to make sure you have a beer that sits well in the stomach. If you have 50K before your first big hill, well then it’s not an issue now, is it?
  3. What do I feel like drinking today? If you don’t ask this question when choosing your beer, you have missed the point, douchenozzle.

And with that, here is the report from the first round of testing. May your bidons flow with the nectar of the gods and your guns rejoice in their lubrication with Voigtian feats of strength.

Field Test Update, 8/15/10

I am happy to report that after a few missteps the field testing is going very well. It began inauspiciously on a San Francisco Twin Peaks double with a Guinness in a mason jar jammed into my downtube cage back in April. The Guinness was the right choice””it’s the obvious choice to begin such an experiment with””but with the chatter from my ill-conceived titanium cyclocross fork on the urban descent inching the half-empty glass container toward my handlebars, I had visions of the whole project ending quite suddenly in a tragic, bloody, beery mess of glass shards, bent Zondas and broken bones. Happily, I am a superior bicycle handler, true Velominatus, and lucky sonofabitch not afraid to run a few of my former city’s well-intended stop signs, and I was able to reach down and snag the wayward vessel before it tumbled while ignoring other sensible actions, like braking. So we are up and running.

Beer: Guinness Stout (126 Calories [per 12oz]; ~4.2% ABV]; 10g Carbohydrates)

Ride: San Francisco Twin Peaks Double (30K, ~400m vertical)

Weather: Foggy, Windy, 50 degrees. Fucking San Francisco.

Pair Rating: 7

Pros: NO2 instead of CO2; easy to accommodate the recommended serving temperature; cache as a hearty beer; taste; awesomeness

Cons: Relatively low calories; it was in a fucking mason jar

Comments: To me, Guinness was the obvious beer to start the testing. Billed as a beer “for strength” and “for health,” it has often been touted as liquid bread. In my opinion, its relatively low alcohol content is a benefit, as is its smooth taste both warm and cold. I was surprised to discover that Guinness has relatively few calories compared to some other brews (including Bud Heavy, although that beer is not for bikes). The mason jar presented a problem both in that it nearly chattered out of my cage and killed me and in that it prevented a slow, sipping intake. Fortunately””and here is where Guinness really shines as a riding beverage””as a nitrogenated beer rather than a carbonated one, Guinness is much easier on the stomach and thus a very good beer for a rough and tumble urban ride with steep climbs, lots of stop and go, and in this case large gulps from a mason jar. Overall, it is a solid all-around beer for all types of cool to warm weather riding.

Beer: Newcastle (150 Calories; 4.7% ABV; 15g Carbohydrates)

Ride: Truckee to Tahoe City and back (56K, rolling, at around 6,000 feet above sea level)

Weather: Sunny, 55º

Pair Rating: 8

Pros: Smooth, nutty flavor; historic brewery with ties to the English working class

Cons: Imported in clear bottles; does not wear warm weather well; distributed in the U.S. by Heineken

Comments: A classic example of a great beer not necessarily holding up as a perfect cycling beer, although between the quality of the ride and my love of “the dog,” things did go pretty well. The snow banks lining the road kept me and the beer at a reasonable temperature, so the warm Newcastle problem was really not a problem (though it could be). There was the slight hint of skunk that often accompanies clear bottles, but nothing I couldn’t mask by turning the screws a little bit up to 35kph and breathing through my mouth. The only drawback really was that I realized on the ride that two California beers””the Boont Amber and one of my new favorites, Lagunitas Censored Copper Ale””could have complemented the ride better.

Beer: Sierra Nevada Porter (194 Calories; 5.6% ABV; 18g Carbohydrates…plus bacon)

Ride: Tour de Blast

Weather: Shitty. 50º and raining at the bottom; 38º and raining at the top.

Pair Rating: 10 (though I’m pretty sure the bacon pushed it up to 11)

Pros: Hefty, hearty, smoky, and fantastic; high calories and very high carbs; just made for bad weather

Cons: As a porter with 40 IBU (international bitterness units), this beer would not warm well at all. Sort of a Good Cadel/Bad Cadel kind of beer. I caught it a Good Cadel day. It’s also on the high end of ABV, so drinking it fast or without other fluid/food intake might not be the best plan.

Comments: Beer. Bacon. 1000m of climbing in the fucking rain. This was a winner. When I Schlecked my chain crossing a bridge and had to dig into some Rule #5 to catch Marko and Jim on the next section of the climb, the Sierra Nevada Porter was right there in my legs to get the job done. Bye Jim. Bye Marko.

Beer: Pabst Blue Ribbon (153 Calories; 5% ABV; 12g Carbs)

Ride: Bogus Basin Hill Climb (60K out and back; ~1300m vertical)

Weather: Oddly Humid, 75º-95º, just before a storm

Pair Rating: 3 (with a fair amount of charity)

Pros: It’s cheap; surprisingly good calorie to alcohol ratio (though I suspect there isn’t much good stuff in it); affiliation with working class American; cache with the hipsters

Cons: Well, it’s just not that good. It warms badly and is heavily carbonated. Also, it has cache with the hipsters.

Comments: Fail. I don’t necessarily have anything against PBR except that it has somehow gained a reputation as better than other cheap beers, which it is not. And to be fair, this was perhaps a day when I should have left the beer at home. But still, fail.

Addendum, 9/5/10

Beer: Deschutes Organic Green Lakes Amber Ale (145 Calories; 5.2%ABV; 45IBU)

Ride: Beartooth Pass (23k w/4,600+ft of climbing, at altitude)

Weather: Sunny and 50º at the start; sunny and 35º with a vicious wind at the finish

Pair Rating: 6 (could be higher with a fresh bottle)

Pros: A good beer, brewed organically in a part of the country where they brew good beer and hard men.

Cons: This particular bottle had gone through much distress (heating and cooling); at 45IBU, it’s a little bitter and doesn’t warm very well.

Comments: My friend’s girlfriend accidentally spilled half of it before the start of the time trial, which on any other ride would have been a problem, but I sucked wind so hard for so long that I would have had a hard time finishing the whole thing anyway.  No beer in the world could have protected me from the Beartooth.

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90 Replies to “Beer in the Bidon: Field Test Update”

  2. Outstanding. A perfect matching of rigorous scientific method with flair and artistry.

  3. Spot on! That right there is literary and beererary gold. I think google should point every query to http://www.velominati.com because all the deep answers to all things can be found within. If it ain’t, it ain’t important.

    One thing that was overlooked, however, is what I would call “virtual domination”. Drink enough of even an inappropriate pairing and you will dominate everyone no matter what anyone tells you. “I kicked all yer sonzabitches assesesess. I don’t care if I rode my ditch in the bike. Sod off.”

    “Never trust a beer you can see through.”

  5. Would someone please email the link for this article to Heinrich Haussler?

  10. I’m going to have to prescribe that Josh remove the crank set from the bike, tear the little ring off with his teeth, and then – as penance – set the stop on the derailleur such that it will only accomodate the big ring for a minimum of three (3) months.

    That notwithstanding, the article offers some interesting ideas which will require some testing of my own.

    @Marcus
    Don’t you ever fucking do that again, suggesting that I might ride a tripple. My big ring is a 56, and my small ring is a 54 which I use on cobbled climbs only.

  11. @all
    I’ve been thinking about this some more, and I think we may have missed the satirical genius of the composition of the photo.

    First of all, the bidon is from Bike Nut in San Francisco – a very high-end if snobish shop which represents the “roadie douche bag” mentality to the fullest. Those guys have disappeared completely up their own asses.

    Second, the article clearly states the fact that Chimay (a Belgain trapist which makes a “trippel”, or thrice-fermeted ale) is not suitable for riding.

    Third, a triple crankset in Belgium, if they weren’t illegal, would likely be referred to as the “trippel”.

    Both the Trippel and the Tripple Crankset have no place in cycling.

    And it was all right there, in front of us, all along.

    I think we all missed the genius

  12. @frank
    Wow! I don’t know if I’m more impressed with Joshua or with Frank on this one. Are there any rules about rides before noon? Or is it never too early for a “tipple”?

  13. @frank
    Glad you noticed the Bitch Nut touch in this one, Le Frank. That was intentional, and it is in fact my ironic beer bidon.

    Meanwhile, you may remember a precept (perhaps not a rule) from our Tres Cime ride: it is poor form to heckle a rider with a triple while they pull away from you while not using the triple. In my defense, you might also take stalk of the 11-24 I have on the back.

    All of that said, I tend to agree with the Rule #5 heckle here, and you’ll notice from that on the Beartooth I was reduced to pedaling slow, painful squares…in the triple. Mia culpa.

  15. Josh, that is a great post, I’m glad to see getting a PhD has instilled a need for good data in a cycling writer.
    PBR has no place in cycling, unless you want to chug one before starting a fight with a spindly climber. And speaking of chugging:

    As a general rule, beer should not accompany rides under an hour unless they are uphill time trials, in which case they should be shotgunned at the starting line, the empties handed nonchalantly to the starter when he begins his countdown.

    I believe that was my exact advice to Le Frank before his uphill TT. He did not heed my advice.
    And douchenozzle…thank god someone has re-acquainted me with that word. Chapeau all around for this post.

  16. I will admit to drinking a FREE PBR at the bottom of the descent of the TdB that a huge local lumber jack handed me, seemed like the thing to do at the time. I dare say it worked too. Jim and I seemed to hammer the flats on the way back to the car.

  17. @Marko
    Point taken Marko. Free PBR proffered by surly lumberjack after near-death descent is OK. But it’s not something you want to put in a bidon thinking this sweet PBR is going to kill in a hour, when it is warm.

    For you non-American readers, PBR Pabst Blue Ribbon is a typically terrible American beer, less nauseating than Bud and Miller but along those lines. The tragically hip twenty-somethings in the USA have latched on to it and kept the company in business. A insane business model that only works here. In summation it’s piss, only enjoyed by smokers, alcoholics, lumberjacks and any combination of that group you can come up with.

  18. @Joshua

    No, no, no! Repeat 35 times.

    An 11-24 is your excuse? Should be an 11-21 tops if you really must run a triple. Which you mustn’t. Shit, it’s hard enough dealing with crap from the likes of Jarvis for running a 36/50 compact.

    And are those mountain bike pedals on there? Look like 1st generation SPD’s to me…

    Being drunk while speccing your bike is really no excuse for these breaches.

  19. Damn, you guys spot everything. Nothing gets by the Velominati photo police. On the use of a triple… not even many mtn. bikers are rolling triples anymore (unless they are starting menopause).

  20. @Brett
    Those are indeed mountain pedals, my friend. Take a closer look at the Beartooth pic and you’ll notice something odd…it’s not a road bike. It’s a cyclocross bike, currently set up with the Zondas to kick your ass on the road. This will all become clear to you in time.

    Pakrat, you leave my hot flashes out of this.

  23. @Marko
    As you may remember, Marco, there is in fact one way for a cyclist to drink PBR appropriately on a ride (and only when free): shotgunned through a 10mm wide hexagonal hole in the lower reaches of the side of the can, slightly left of center.

  24. @frank
    got to pull you up there fella, a Trappist Trippel does have it’s place in cycling and that is as a post-ride cafe drink.

    Triples, on the other hand, belong with compacts in the scrap metal bin.

  25. You have hit it on the head Joshua! PBR may just be the best shotgunning beer out there, though the Natty Light and Hamms connoisseur may beg to differ.

  26. there is only something worse than a road bike with a triple.

    and that is a cyclocross bike with a triple.

    cyclocrossers do know how to HTFU

  27. @Salsa_Lover CX with a trippel? Yeesh.

    Speaking of cross – one of my favorite during-the-ride drinks is Belgian-style ales handed to me mid-race. The contrast between the 34° beer and the 20° weather is oddly… warming. And while I enjoy a bourbon HUP! when spectating, the bourbon hand-up does not go down well…

    FYCX!

  28. I don’t think Bjarne Riis would agree with this article, but at least Andy Schleck and Stu O’Grady have been reading.

  29. @Mitch

    I don’t think Bjarne Riis would agree with this article, but at least Andy Schleck and Stu O’Grady have been reading.

    It’s not the first time Andy has been led astray by this site. Read more here.

  31. @Cyclops
    Obviously these would not be suitable for our road machines for the various obvious Rule violations, but I am putting you in charge of sourcing V-branded version of these.

  32. Holy fuck boys, this article is awesome! Ha, I have been doing this since I started doing long road rides – stopping midway on a 2-5 hour ride and getting some beer but I’ve been too scared to ever mention it to other roadies, for fear of being seen as drunk and cast away from the flock. Quite happy to read this! I wouldn’t suggest drinking and riding to just anyone, but if you are already a hardman and ride year-round in all conditions, fuck it, having some beer just makes your body a bit calmer and makes it easier to suffer. I love it

  33. @ron
    Welcome, Ron! You are obviously one of us. When Josh first rolled up to me with a bid on full of beer, I have to admit that my first reaction was, “Those are my bidons. They’re not going to come back from that.”

    Josh’s response was simply, “Come back from? Most bidons never live up to that.”

    Many more nuggets of wisdom around here at the Velominati!

  34. This is the greatest article ever. I am not a roadie (I know) XC guy. One of the greatest days on the bike were after finding a broken spoke in my back wheel the night before a XC race that would have trashed the wheel if I rode it like that. I was so pissed about the timing I went and got pissed. So pissed that I don’t even remember what beer it was. Stayed up until 3 am. Out of bed at 7am and said “fuck it”, got it fixed and flew around the course. Drink up!!! I have yet to try the beer mid event however, after this read I shall.

  35. @The Viking
    Welcome! This is a mighty tale, and one worthy of such a handle as yours, I might add.

    We here at the Velominati have nothing against XC-ers or crossers or anything involving bicycles and skill or love of the bike. In fact, we venture off road quite a bit, and revered Keeper of the Cog, Brett, is primarily an off-roader. You’re in good company here.

    It just so happens that The Rules are rather roadie-slanted, even if there are the odd Rules in there for other disciplines. After all, if any sport in the world doesn’t merit having Rules, it would be mountain biking, no?

  36. I rode 80km with a 30km climb Saturday on one Hammer Gel and a 1/4 bottle of water (w/Heed). I wonder if the Samuel Smith Oatmeal Stout the night before had anything to do with it?

  37. @Cyclops
    The night before? Really? Listen, beer in the belly the night before is certainly not mutually exclusive with beer in the bidon or with dominance–in fact, it is almost unequivocally a good thing–but have I taught you nothing? Next time, ditch the Heed and go for the Oatmeal Stout.

    Good choice on the Sam Smith’s, however; it’s in the field test queue right alongside Deschuttes Black Butte Porter.

  38. You guys are truly elevating the art here. At the same time it conjurs up memories of my first beer-bidon, honestly, not the experience I was hoping for. My buddy who was really working me and mid way through a 2500m day we stopped at a cafe. We had the good fortune of being offered a free beer, a Calanda Brau I recall. All hell was about to break loose with the weather and we were pushing pretty hard. With the risk of being relegated to a “Level 5”, I will admit that 200m from the summit I had a “reversal of fortune”. The only saving grace in this whole event was that I never got off the bike, and in the sideways rain I was pretty much cleaned up by time we reached the summit.

    In retrospect, too much carbonation. Which brings me to the real brilliance of this article, thanks to Joshua’s research I can’t wait to try a nitro stout. Cheers

  39. @Bob
    Bob, I am delighted that what you took from this experience was not that “beer and riding don’t mix”, but rather that you had selected the wrong beer.

    I personally have yet to try this out, but I will do so. We do a ride here in Seattle which is a brute which we call the Seattle Tre Chime. It’s name is in reverence to the climb where Eddy Merckx first made his name in the Giro, the Tre Chime di Lavaredo – The Three Chimneys of Lavaredo. Since our route hits Phinney Ridge, Queen Anne, and Magnolia, we call it the Three Chimneys of Seattle, although now I realize that it should be the Tre Chime di Seattle, but whatever.

    In any case, Josh masterminded the idea of the Seattle Tre Chimey, which is obviously a terrible idea. We haven’t done it yet, but when he returns here for an ill-fated visit, I’m sure we’ll try it.

    I can only hope there is a driving sideways rain.

  40. The benefit of beer for cycling performance is also used in the pro peloton, although sparingly. Two experiences leap to mind.

    I was in the QuickStep Team bus after the TTT opener for the Giro in Venice 09′. Not a happy bus, not a sad bus, but it wasn’t really what QS was at the Giro for and they were still reeling from news of their Big Guy. Anyway, long transfer and after an hour the bus pulled up to a restaurant where they had made reservations (there were still a couple hours to the next hotel.

    As the riders and staff are all settling down, I see team doctor Manuel whispering something to a waiter as he gestured an “all around” signal directed at the table. You shoulda’ seen the eyes pop wide when large bottles of Moretti where placed on the table. The first one appropriately in front of Al Davis. Even the directors raised their eyebrows. Beers were quaffed toute d’suite, and another round showed up. Now despite this being a Belgian team, it really freaked everybody out, but it certainly lifted their spirits and it made the following 2 hours on the bus more pleasant. Oh yeah, the Saxo team came in after the second round had been delivered and had the adjacent super-long table next to ours, there were a lot of longing looks at the empties.

    More recently, at this years Vuelta, again after the TTT opener (see a pattern here?) I was at the poolside bar of the hotel and who should slide up to the bar next to me but the aforementioned Aussie mighty-mite. We shared a couple, and when I said that I was headed up to bed and that he should do the same he basically told me to follow Rule #5. I declined as documentarians have considerably longer days than cyclists at the grand tours. He then proceeded to take his beer to a chaise lounge where he said he was just gonna relax for a bit. I made him promise not to close his eyes lest he find himself there in the morning. Well, he had a decent Vuelta after that, and who can deny that it undoubtedly led up to his podium in Geelong?

    -Kaffeine

  42. @Cyclops
    What I don’t get is how you’re going to fit all that piss-water (because it ain’t beer) into your musette.

  43. It ain’t me bro. My bidon would only have Samuel Smith’s Oatmeal Stout in it (or maybe Black Butte Porter).

  47. His tan lines aren’t crisp although they are low enough to indicate he may be a cyclist.

  48. Oh come on – there are violations everywhere. Hat does not accord with the three point principle; socks are definitely NOT Goldilocks; tan lines are very poor; shorts are WAY too short; multiple arm cockrings; inappropriate eyewear; wrong choice of bidon beer … need I go on? It is an outrage. The only saving grace is that his arse says Rock Racing – which pretty much sums both him and RR up. (If he was wearing, say, Garmin togs we’d have to hunt him down …)

  50. Um, while you are all looking at some semi-naked dude, Kaffiene just told a hell of a story…

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