The Rules are a living thing; a set of truths that have been captured but which do not represent a comprehensive record. They speak to whole larger than any of us and thus will never be complete. Indeed, we will always need to read between the lines of – to feel – The Rules in our pursuit of them.
Take, for example, Rule #57: No stickers. Simple, logical. Obviously, this is aimed at stickers applied after-market by a consumer attempting to self-identify with a group of some kind. Frame decals and safety stickers applied by the manufacturer are obviously not in violation, while, on the other hand, if one were to put a label on your handlebars that reminded you how what the various levers do when shifting, that probably falls into the “Maybe Not” category and should never need to be recorded in the Canon.
When plodding around town, my eye always seeks out bicycles and I make quick, almost subconscious assessments of how compliant the various bikes are with The Rules. When I find sufficiently egregious violations, I generally snap a picture of it, just in case I need it in the future for court hearings and such.
This particular violation was seen while a Velominati Scouting Team (consisting of Jim, John, myself and various friends and family) were out doing a test-ride of equipment prior to our Big Ride on Saturday. I took these photos for the bike’s violation of Rule #44, Rule #45, Rule #48, Rule #49, Rule #57, and Rule #61. Surprisingly, there was adherence to one of the more subtle Rules, Rule #40, but I’m guessing that was by some sort of freak accident, since the owner of this bike can not possibly have been attuned to it.
Upon closer inspection of the handlebars lurked a perfect example of why The Rules will never be a comprehensive Study Guide to cycling’s canon of etiquette, for this violation should never need to be explicitly documented within it’s texts, a Velominatus should “feel” it:
These particular stickers prod at the psychology of the bike’s owner: Thumb Hard, Finger Easy. (There might also be a moral lesson hidden within the meaning of those stickers, but I’m not smart enough to grasp it.) I’m almost impressed by the fact that both stickers have it right despite the insistence of those damn Italian developers of the Campy Ergo levers to make both levers work the opposite way. I can only imagine how many iterations it took to get the labels right. Further, the bold, white font does nothing to the label’s subtlety; this is the work of an individual making a public declaration of their inability to absorb the workings of a simple mechanical device.
The only explanation I can come up with is that this bike belongs to a compulsive labeler; I can only imagine what other stickers this person has surrounded himself with to clarify the obvious.
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View Comments
@crossy
Are we sure they are secondary brake levers? A little hard to tell, but it looks like they are the ONLY levers. (Note, also, that they seem to be set up non-euro style - right-front, left-back. Presumably the reason that there are no labels for that is that they only ever get pulled together.)
Two additional issues:
- I thought thhere was a rule against carriers. Is there? If not, shouldn't there be?
- On my way back to my office just now I passed a commuter bike proudly festooned ("equipped" would imply utility) with a bar-mounted bell. Shouldn't there be a rule against that, too? I mean, if you feel you may need to signal your presence at short notice, a cute little tinkle hardly screams "get the fuck outta my way" like, say, screaming "get the fuck otta my way" does. In fact, in the CBD it doesn't scream very much of anything. (Brett, did you sell this person their bell?)
A+1. Guess what's just been added to my list of weekend tasks.
@Geof
Be sure to include "magic" and "more magic." I've lost count of the number of long drive conversations that involved my telling the kids why I couldn't tell them what they did and what they meant.
It's actually the law to have a bar-mounted bell on your bike around these parts. Lord knows I don't have one on my road bike, but I do have one on my mountain bike, which also doubles as my commuter. Handy on trails; I find "on your left" typically means that pedestrians start to drift to their left, which isn't particularly helpful. A bell from further away works better. Of course, "get the fuck outta my way" at the top of my lungs works fine, too.
@Steampunk
All fair points. Perhaps it's just an aesthetic thing. And a Rule 5 thing.
@Geof
Oh, fair enough. Mind you, I gripe endlessly about cyclists not following the rules of the road and that we're our own worst enemy in terms of having cars take us seriously. There are so many idiots on bikes out there (probably more than auto drivers) that I felt I should have at least one bike that (almost) adhered to the rules of the road.
@Steampunk
Sorry - Rule 5 failure allegation was not directed at your compliance with The Law, but at the Wellingtonian bell user (bells not being legaly required down this way). I agree wholeheartedly with the "Obey the Law" concept. Cyclists who shoot red lights when cars are coming through, who switch lanes in traffic without warning, who jump up onto pavements expecting little old ladies and small children to dodge them, etc, pose a serious danger to themselves (which I don't care at all about), pose some danger to drivers and pedestrians (which I do care about when the drivers and pedestrians are me and my friends and family) and pose a material danger to me and other cyclists by increasing the likelihood of drivers tarring all of us with the same brush (which I also care about). Maybe there should be another Rule -"Don't be a wanker"...
Amen to that. Blowing through stop signs, riding on sidewalks, and riding on the wrong side of the road are the ones that get me. I've less and less patience for lidless cyclists, too.
Geof, actually bells and reflectors are required by law. We have to fit them to bikes we sell.
I also run a bell on my commuter bike, it's much better to give a ding-a-ling when coming up behind them in Mt Vic tunnel than yelling out "rider" 6 times and have them spin around startled and fall into you path. Maybe if they had mirrors this wouldn't happen...
Oh yeah, you'll love this... my bell mounts on the pivot bolt on my, wait for it, secondary brake levers! Ok, it's a Tricross SS, so cross bikes are allowed to run them... really, they are!