The Rules are a living thing; a set of truths that have been captured but which do not represent a comprehensive record. They speak to whole larger than any of us and thus will never be complete. Indeed, we will always need to read between the lines of – to feel – The Rules in our pursuit of them.
Take, for example, Rule #57: No stickers. Simple, logical. Obviously, this is aimed at stickers applied after-market by a consumer attempting to self-identify with a group of some kind. Frame decals and safety stickers applied by the manufacturer are obviously not in violation, while, on the other hand, if one were to put a label on your handlebars that reminded you how what the various levers do when shifting, that probably falls into the “Maybe Not” category and should never need to be recorded in the Canon.
When plodding around town, my eye always seeks out bicycles and I make quick, almost subconscious assessments of how compliant the various bikes are with The Rules. When I find sufficiently egregious violations, I generally snap a picture of it, just in case I need it in the future for court hearings and such.
This particular violation was seen while a Velominati Scouting Team (consisting of Jim, John, myself and various friends and family) were out doing a test-ride of equipment prior to our Big Ride on Saturday. I took these photos for the bike’s violation of Rule #44, Rule #45, Rule #48, Rule #49, Rule #57, and Rule #61. Surprisingly, there was adherence to one of the more subtle Rules, Rule #40, but I’m guessing that was by some sort of freak accident, since the owner of this bike can not possibly have been attuned to it.
Upon closer inspection of the handlebars lurked a perfect example of why The Rules will never be a comprehensive Study Guide to cycling’s canon of etiquette, for this violation should never need to be explicitly documented within it’s texts, a Velominatus should “feel” it:
These particular stickers prod at the psychology of the bike’s owner: Thumb Hard, Finger Easy. (There might also be a moral lesson hidden within the meaning of those stickers, but I’m not smart enough to grasp it.) I’m almost impressed by the fact that both stickers have it right despite the insistence of those damn Italian developers of the Campy Ergo levers to make both levers work the opposite way. I can only imagine how many iterations it took to get the labels right. Further, the bold, white font does nothing to the label’s subtlety; this is the work of an individual making a public declaration of their inability to absorb the workings of a simple mechanical device.
The only explanation I can come up with is that this bike belongs to a compulsive labeler; I can only imagine what other stickers this person has surrounded himself with to clarify the obvious.
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Looking again, more carefully, we also have a Rule 35 breach, too. It's hard to notice unless you look at the shadow, but that definitely looks like a visor on the helmet.
@Steampunk What's this? A comrade calling me out? I'm just training properly, my mind completely focused on maintaining the most awesome pace for three hours. Are you sure you know how to train properly?
@david
More or less distracting than stopping to argue with people?
I've never had anyone get upset with me. Or maybe they have but I didn't notice because I Train Properly and am Nearly Peaking and left them in my carbon dust! Suckers!
@Steampunk
Don't worry mate, it's a hammer-type dinger!
@frank No, seriously, there's a large number of cyclists out there who think failing to say "on your left" is a grave breach of cycling etiquette and get highly pissed. And, it's not limited to my big, fat, well used bike trail. I've seen it in different regions. Of course, you have to stop when you hear the mumbling and grumbing after you go buy, or else you won't be able to appreciate their pain. I've also had these conversations when I'm stopped at a red light, and they come back up to me. I haven't pinned down the psychosis yet. (i) Some of them are just startled, and they don't like it. I say, "I was startled too when I first started driving and someone blew by me at 90 mph. But, I got over it quickly." That reply doesn't go over so well. (ii) Some of them are into rules. They start cycling and they learn that you are supposed to do that. They think, I believe, "How courteous and respectful we cyclists are to each other, unlike the rest of the a-holes in the world. We have a code, an ordered system of behavior, and I'm so proud to partake in it." And, then, when you violate their expectations, they panic, perhaps. Obey the rules! Or else the world will fall apart. Or, maybe unconsciously their pride in adhering to the rules is threatened by willful breaches of the code. (iii) There is the general ire that most feel when you perceive someone is making an exception for himself by violating the standard rules and conventions. "Who do you think you are? Do you think you are so special you don't have to follow the rules everyone else does?" I get this when the person has an attitude to racers. (iv) Some of them mask a deeper psychosis by convincing themselves that the reason you do it is because it's the safe thing to do. It's dangerous to not say on your left as you pass. This one is easy to counter. I hit on this one two months ago. I say, "Well, in your case, I saw you were holding your line and riding smoothly, There was no danger." This leaves them with no reply at all. "But I'm not a skilled cyclist, really! I'm a dangerous rider!" Hehe.
I'm still working on the diagnosis. It's a curiosity of mine, as a student of human behavior.
@brett Yes, the hammer-type dinger is the one. That's the same model I had, I believe. And, you can really flip that bad boy up and down quickly and make huge, obnoxious racket with it. (This is useful when confronting drunks on bikes.)
@brett
Okay. It was just the way you wrote "ding-a-ling," which had me worried. I have my same bell on the right, though. I'm not sure this is more or less correct (I know, I know: it really doesn't matter).
@Steampunk
You must have read that with his Aussie accent turned on. "Ding-a-ling" is Australian for "Beer".
@brett
I think that bell looks absolutely awesome mounted like that. I did a similar rig with a little flasher light on my stem for my rain bike. Radness. Well done, mate.
@Steampunk That is true Velominati eagle eye shit there!! Much impressed!
As this is clearly a commuter bike, the fenders, rack, helmet visor and flat pedals shouldn't be considered in violation of any Rules. The stack height, well that's probably a bit extreme no matter what the bike is. The stickers though, pure anathema.
But Frank, excusing safety stickers on a frame? Sacrilege! They should be the first thing to go on any new bike...