The Rules are a living thing; a set of truths that have been captured but which do not represent a comprehensive record. They speak to whole larger than any of us and thus will never be complete. Indeed, we will always need to read between the lines of – to feel – The Rules in our pursuit of them.
Take, for example, Rule #57: No stickers. Simple, logical. Obviously, this is aimed at stickers applied after-market by a consumer attempting to self-identify with a group of some kind. Frame decals and safety stickers applied by the manufacturer are obviously not in violation, while, on the other hand, if one were to put a label on your handlebars that reminded you how what the various levers do when shifting, that probably falls into the “Maybe Not” category and should never need to be recorded in the Canon.
When plodding around town, my eye always seeks out bicycles and I make quick, almost subconscious assessments of how compliant the various bikes are with The Rules. When I find sufficiently egregious violations, I generally snap a picture of it, just in case I need it in the future for court hearings and such.
This particular violation was seen while a Velominati Scouting Team (consisting of Jim, John, myself and various friends and family) were out doing a test-ride of equipment prior to our Big Ride on Saturday. I took these photos for the bike’s violation of Rule #44, Rule #45, Rule #48, Rule #49, Rule #57, and Rule #61. Surprisingly, there was adherence to one of the more subtle Rules, Rule #40, but I’m guessing that was by some sort of freak accident, since the owner of this bike can not possibly have been attuned to it.
Upon closer inspection of the handlebars lurked a perfect example of why The Rules will never be a comprehensive Study Guide to cycling’s canon of etiquette, for this violation should never need to be explicitly documented within it’s texts, a Velominatus should “feel” it:
These particular stickers prod at the psychology of the bike’s owner: Thumb Hard, Finger Easy. (There might also be a moral lesson hidden within the meaning of those stickers, but I’m not smart enough to grasp it.) I’m almost impressed by the fact that both stickers have it right despite the insistence of those damn Italian developers of the Campy Ergo levers to make both levers work the opposite way. I can only imagine how many iterations it took to get the labels right. Further, the bold, white font does nothing to the label’s subtlety; this is the work of an individual making a public declaration of their inability to absorb the workings of a simple mechanical device.
The only explanation I can come up with is that this bike belongs to a compulsive labeler; I can only imagine what other stickers this person has surrounded himself with to clarify the obvious.
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@brett
@frank
Here we go. Trying to set up Rules, which primarily have their source in the history and traditions of European road racing, for all of cyclists, is ridiculous. Any sane commuter should violate many Rules with no compunction whatsover. Come on, which is it? Rules for all cyclists? That would be a boring list. Or, Rules for racers? There's a good deal of confusion amongst the Velominati about this, exemplified rather plainly by the tension between frank and brett on this strange bike. A commuter should have a saddlebag, frame-mounted pump of whatever brand best fits the frame, yellow vest of authority, etc., and a helmet visor, fendors, rack, and stack height of whatever height best suits him, if they work for the commuter. Honestly, what norms or standards should apply to commuters??? The Rules???
And +1 to what David says above.
It is 2 different worlds and personally I try not to mix them, no team kit on the commuter, no bells on the racing machine. There does have to be some overlap if you are a hard man on a budget i.e. the winter commute bike can be the winter training bike.
Although I have real respect for the day in day out commuter (my best friend has commuted for 30 years on shit heavy bikes) commuting, bike paths and bells should only be mentioned in brief on these pages.
Come to think of it I am not sure why David is being such a passive aggressive because he is jeopardizing his hard man status by training on a bike path - it is the rare bike path that will have the right conditions (no peds/commuters) to do proper training?
@david
The Rules do NOT "primarily have their source in the history and traditions of European road racing". They were made up in my garage, posted about here, then grew into what they are now. They have nothing to do with racing, they were brought about from me and my friend Johnny Klink having a basic sense of good taste and aesthetics when it came to our, and our friends', bikes. Road and mountain. Probably more mountain, to be honest. That some of them can be applied to racing (or training, or just riding, which is what we do the most) is more coincidence than consideration. If you are looking for Euro Pro-wannabe type rules, look at this list (which is not taking itself fully seriously, either).
The Rules, this blog, riding bikes, they are all about one thing; fun. Me and Klink didn't really care that our mates' bike was covered in string and tape, we still rode with him (and had fun ribbing him about it). I don't care that Geof has a helmet mirror, I'll still ride with him and have fun (while still ribbing him about it). I don't care if Frank rides a fucking Cervelo, I look forward to riding with him, having a drink with him, and having a lot of fun. Coz he gets it.
Don't lose sight of why we ride.
And for your consideration, my commuter bike, in all its' sadlle-bagged, belled, fendered, flashing lighted glory...
Brett, that is a grand machine, love the set up - fixed or single?
I have to think about the last 3 posts, Davids, mine and your reply, which you sent after. Being a newbie and not seeing the development of the Rules I see them as representing a more race oriented direction (with tongue firmly in cheek). More later as I am late for the morning ride.
@Rob
It has fixed and freewheel, currently running freewheel as I commute home through a section of a former World Cup XC course (on Mt Victoria here in Welly, where Cadel took his first major win). I'll be riding it a a 'cross race in a couple of weeks, and more than likely at the SSWC in October (unless sense prevails and I opt for my SS MTB...)
@brett
This bike in many ways represents the perfect ride. It's roots are clearly apparent, surely one not familiar with the rules or cycling in general would look at it and say 'road bike' even though it's technically not. This bike has a wonderful mating of form and function, form certainly following function with a certain elegance. The asthete of this bike is undeniable. This bike has utility and can be used to still put the hurt on some peeps.
This is one of those bikes where if you have one or one like it in your stable and someone puts the proverbial gun to your head and says "pick one and give me the rest or else" you'd probably put this one near the top of the list.
@Rob Well, I definitely don't claim hardman status. I've achieved it on a bike rarely and briefly and never for any significant wins. In the made up world of the Cognoscenti and Rule Holists, created by men drinking beer, I do represent sometimes seriously and sometimes with tongue in cheek loyalty to Rule 5 before worrying about Rules about what coffee one can and cannot drink after a ride.
The trail I ride is big and wide with divided lanes, and ProTour teams ride on it when they're in town for the ToC. During the week, you can train on it as fast as you like. On the weekends in the spring and summer, you can't. It's too crowded.
@brett Like I said, mixed messages. I came on this site, oh at about the end of April. Hardman this, Hardman that, all of them road racers. Article after article on European road racing in one way or another. And, I loved it. Virtually nothing on mountain biking, let alone mountain bike competition, nor any other school or tribe of cycling. Super Prestige: a road racing prediction game. On and on. Further, the rules are definitely road-racer centric. Arguably, 10, 14, 15, 17, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 40, 42, 50, 54, 61, 67, 70, and 75, if not others, derive from the particular style and etiquette of road racers. And, it turns out that road racers actually follow virtually all of the rules. Non-road racers do not, and in fact the vast majority of them have no idea there is an informal style and etiquette out there. We usually call them Freds.
I mean, really, you have a rule, Rule 33, requiring shaved legs!! Shaving one's legs is a tribal ritual for road racers. Well, for amateur road racers it is simply a bizarre tribal ritual, while at least for the pro road racer there is a point to it. It makes messages easier for the soigner and for the rider.
So, whatever the original source of the Rules, they and this site definitely come across as catering to the interests of road racers. Of course that's fine with me.
Given some of your remarks, brett, it seems I obviously do not have control of the impression my writing gives about me. Sometimes I play at being harsh and serious as part of my role as a founder of Rule 5 fundamentalism, a role I was given by the way. I take this site to be about fun. But for it to be fun, it has to be taken seriously at least in a facetious kind of way. You can't have fun with a set of Rules which deign to express the truths of the etiquette of the sport of cycling if at some level you don't take them seriously. That may just be in conversation posting while drinking beer or in actual riding. To be fun, one should at least feel there is something at stake in adopting a rule or not. I think so at any rate. Maybe I'm wrong.
Y'all can move the site in the direction you wish. It's your site. I'll not make a fuss about it. But, as a site devoted to the interests of road racers, and with a set of fun Rules that attempt to mark out the style and etiquette of a road racing culture, informed by the history and traditions of the sport, the site is fun and unique. If we took the Rules to just state the tastes of two guys in a garage, or four Keepers for that matter, then, I offer, the Rules would just be boring.
So, here's my two cents on the site. Don't let it slip into a site on a general cycling culture or style. There just is no general cycling culture or style distinct enough or interesting enough to set up Rules for and have fun arguing about them.
At any rate, brett, some of your articles on the history of road cycling I've enjoyed the most. You know more about that history than I do. Please don't start writing about mountain bike races or the proper Embrocations a cyclist should employ after an enjoyable ride around the park.
"The Rules, this blog, riding bikes, they are all about one thing; fun."
The Rules are about fun, the site is about fun. I get that. But, no, cycling is not about one thing: fun. That's lame, man. Harden the fuck up. You're a Keeper for Christ's sake.
And, sometimes I actually do seriously consult the Rules on style.
Oh, for crying out loud: HTFU!
@david
I agree totally with pretty much everything you've said there, it seems you do get it.
Of course the site is primarily road based, and a lot of it racing and its traditions. There have been MTB posts too, and some stuff on fixie culture and commuting. We take our cycling seriously for sure, we consult and employ most of The Rules, but we also know that when it all comes down to it, we just like riding bikes. I think we'll all agree on that.
This site won't, and I don't think it is, slip into mediocrity or 'general cycling culture', if by that you mean a YJA/Critical Mass/recumbent-riding tome. But we will cover the odd MTB topic, or anything we deem fit to grace this site that is interesting and entertaining. For Christ's sake, this is the 50th comment on a post about a commuter bike with stickers on the bars, many more than my post on Ugrumov, which I'm sure sits more easily with your ideals of what the site is about. So that proves that our readers have a wide and varied interest in cycling, and are entertained by aspects other than racing, tradition and rules.
Stick with us mate, we'll continue to serve up plenty of hardmen, lots of cobbles, leg-searing alpine climbs and vials full of EPO. Because we love all of that shit, and we have fun seeing you guys disect every last word to the nth degree.