The Rules are a living thing; a set of truths that have been captured but which do not represent a comprehensive record. They speak to whole larger than any of us and thus will never be complete. Indeed, we will always need to read between the lines of – to feel – The Rules in our pursuit of them.
Take, for example, Rule #57: No stickers. Simple, logical. Obviously, this is aimed at stickers applied after-market by a consumer attempting to self-identify with a group of some kind. Frame decals and safety stickers applied by the manufacturer are obviously not in violation, while, on the other hand, if one were to put a label on your handlebars that reminded you how what the various levers do when shifting, that probably falls into the “Maybe Not” category and should never need to be recorded in the Canon.
When plodding around town, my eye always seeks out bicycles and I make quick, almost subconscious assessments of how compliant the various bikes are with The Rules. When I find sufficiently egregious violations, I generally snap a picture of it, just in case I need it in the future for court hearings and such.
This particular violation was seen while a Velominati Scouting Team (consisting of Jim, John, myself and various friends and family) were out doing a test-ride of equipment prior to our Big Ride on Saturday. I took these photos for the bike’s violation of Rule #44, Rule #45, Rule #48, Rule #49, Rule #57, and Rule #61. Surprisingly, there was adherence to one of the more subtle Rules, Rule #40, but I’m guessing that was by some sort of freak accident, since the owner of this bike can not possibly have been attuned to it.
Upon closer inspection of the handlebars lurked a perfect example of why The Rules will never be a comprehensive Study Guide to cycling’s canon of etiquette, for this violation should never need to be explicitly documented within it’s texts, a Velominatus should “feel” it:
These particular stickers prod at the psychology of the bike’s owner: Thumb Hard, Finger Easy. (There might also be a moral lesson hidden within the meaning of those stickers, but I’m not smart enough to grasp it.) I’m almost impressed by the fact that both stickers have it right despite the insistence of those damn Italian developers of the Campy Ergo levers to make both levers work the opposite way. I can only imagine how many iterations it took to get the labels right. Further, the bold, white font does nothing to the label’s subtlety; this is the work of an individual making a public declaration of their inability to absorb the workings of a simple mechanical device.
The only explanation I can come up with is that this bike belongs to a compulsive labeler; I can only imagine what other stickers this person has surrounded himself with to clarify the obvious.
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@brett
Spot on, mate. On everything.
@david
I hear you, man. The site is about cycling. And if there's anything that doesn't need Rules, it's mountain bike, commuting, etc. But it's fucking fun to tease some stranger's bike for putting stickers on his bars in order to make riding his bike more sensible to him/her. Of course, tongue firmly in cheek.
The Rules are about road cycling because that's where the history is. That's where the culture is. It exists no where else but in the world of road racing and riding.
My heart and my focus will never leave the road, whether I'm writing about Dutch Bikes, drinking beer, or watching the US take a heartbreaking defeat in the World Cup. Of course, that last one won't grace these pages.
Don't worry, mate. We've got your back.
Just so I'm not misunderstood. About every serious road cyclist I know is interested in other aspects of cycling. Reports on good rides. Mountain bike stuff. Cross stuff. Nonroad equipment--well, maybe not that. Scratch that one. One of the most interesting articles I've come across is Frank's piece on the super-stylized fixie bikes.
@frank
@david
So I'm reading Frank's reply, the part about cycling culture existing and being steeped in road cycling, and the first thing that pops into my head is "yeah but fixie culture is picking up steam quick man" and then I read david's response. That's why I like it here. There are things that tie us all together and others where we might find ourselves parting company. But in the end, and I think I speak for most everyone here, the true passion comes down do throwing your sac over the top tube of your finest road steed, growing out your side burns (okay that's maybe just me), and going down the road as hard as you can with images of RdV (insert favorite classic rider of your own if you wish) in your head.
@david
Comment #48: Amen
and as a footnote. In amongst plumbing/fitting out the re-built workshop and waiting/preparing for my kids to arrive I'm trying to be constructive. Time will tell if I have enough time to succeed.
All - Good one.
Who would think that wanking little stickers would lead to this love fest?
@Rob
And therein lies (or is it lays, Beth, because I have no fucking clue) the gift that the thumb hard, finger easy rider gave the Velominati eventhough this anonymous cyclist was the butt of some ridicule. Thanks thumb hard finger easy guy/gal, whomever you be.
From what I've seen, Marko is right. The fixie culture is spreading like, . . . cancer? gentle ivy? It's going on what, 8 or 10 years in cities like NY and SF? I'm still not sure what to make of them, whether to be hostile or embrace them as cyclists.
@david
Probably dangerous to over-generalize. Again: the rider not the ride. Riding a fixie is an excellent way to work on one's stroke, after all. I don't have one, and it's way, way down on any priority/budget list, but a few around here have caught my eye.
I agree with that. Track bikes, after all, are fixed gear bikes. (No mention of track racing on this site? I love it. Always want to do it. But, no near velodrome.) Fixie's though, are riders with a certain style on highly stylized fixed gear bikes. It's them I am unsure, ambivalent about.
Me thinks they don't give a toss about us and good on them for that. There is a whole new culture of fixie skidder skate board trick bike tattoo folks who are urban cool kids and a velominatus is just part of the corporate oiled machine. They might be the future?