In the roughly six months since launching the Velominati, we have gradually moved from covering races, rumors, and doping to pouring over the very essence of what makes ours such a special sport – its history, culture, legends, traditions, races, and its physical and cultural challenges – and how those threads fit into cycling’s colorful fabric. It binds us and penetrates us, much like the Force, but for bike weenies.
This is what has, over time, become the Velominati’s raison d’être. Brett gave it a name in September when he wrote about the dilemma of handlebar/saddle color selection in a post entitled with the phrase that would become the most important term in the Velominati lexicon. Since then, we have been informally maintaining the canon of cycling’s sacred text: The Rules.
This document has finally reached a stage where it presents a foundation upon which to build and we, the Keepers, have decided the time has come to make it public. This is a living document and will grow and evolve as our sport does. Read it often. Consult it often. Consume it. Worship it. We are the Velominati, the Keepers of the Cog, and it is within our trust that we keep this sacred text. And also to be awesome.
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Heheheehehe. That is genius stuff right there. Back to the leg shaving for a moment. I very much like riding with shaved legs. I don't enjoy the actual shaving part. Too much real estate, awkward to see and work on, I can barely keep my face shaved enough but for some reason, riding all shaved and fit is the best. Hairy legs are rubbish. There.
It does add some performance pressure, you can't afford to suck when all shaved up but if you are going to suck you will look so much better on the bike whilst sucking. It's just hair. Sure it brings up the awkward moments wearing shorts sitting next to your father-in-law but those are golden moments in life. Own your guns.
@Marko
Seriously. And, the chick on the right with her helmet (or hat) tipped back. WTF? How can you question why they are not SNELL-certified?
@john
Own your guns indeed. That needs to be its own post right there. Or at least a Rule.
I really see this as a package deal with your tan lines. Aside from shaving my legs and doing my best to casually drop that fact during business meetings I also make a point of always wearing the elastic of all my shorts at exactly the same place to ensure a razor-like tan line. I also never go the beach or let the upper part of my thigh see the light of day under any circumstances. I've been doing this so long, my tan line stays all through winter. It's as if from mid-thigh downwards, my legs have been genetically altered. It's probably skin cancer, but whatever it is, it makes me look 'core.
Which brings me back to my point: my goal is to have my legs look so ridiculous to non-cyclists that the fact that I shave them becomes a non-issue. I had some chick in Vegas ask me once if I'm a truck driver because of the tan line on my arm. That was probably the proudest day of my life.
@john
The only issue I see with referring to your legs as your "guns" is that it makes the "wanna see a gun show" joke a little awkward when you kiss you guns. But its probably a non-issue after they see the tan line and the razor burn.
For those of you who haven't followed the link...here's the picture Marko and I are referring to:
@all
Okay, enough already. I hereby publicly proclaim and commit to the Velominati that next season I will begin to shave my legs. I've always been shavecurious anyway as I've reaped the benefits to my nether regions for years now.
And since we seem to have a quorum, I'd like to make a motion for a new rule.
26. Quick release angle on the front skewer shall be an upward angle which tightens just aft of the fork and the rear quick release shall tighten at an angle that falls equidistant from the seat and chain stays.
@Marko
Excellent work on both counts, Brother Marko. Your rule needs to be discussed just a bit, though. You're dead on with the front skewer. The rear is more complicated, however, and needs further discussion. We also agree, I think, that the rear should under no circumstances be pointing downward or, heaven forbid, down and forward. I submit, however, that the rear should point up, as closely as the frame permits, and should come to rest just aft of the rear chain stay.
@frank
Though I can see your point, I need to look no further than one of the true hard men for my guidance. Perhaps he wasn't pointing at his knee at all and was, in actuallity, demonstrating the proper position of the rear quick release.
@Marko
Interesting. His skewer is definitely positioned as you describe. You can't argue with the Lion. I also went downstairs to consult The Stable and I realize that, although I never make any egregious violations, my rear skewer positioning is haphazard at best.
I believe the rule should state that, when the frame construction permits, it should bisect the angle but it is acceptable to have it come up along the seat stay when the dropouts don't allow preferred positioning. (For example, the beefy dropouts on the R3s don't allow for it.)
@frank
Thus, I move to adopt rule number 32 and it shall read:
32. Quick release angle on the front skewer shall be an upward angle which tightens just aft of the fork and the rear quick release shall tighten at an angle that bisects, equidistantly, the seat and chain stays. But it is acceptable to have the rear quick release tighten upward, just aft of the seat stay, when the construction of the frame or its dropouts will not allow the preferred positioning.
Do I have a second?