Categories: General

Haleakala, Rematch: Some People Just Don’t Learn

Some of the elevation markers display a V at the center of the sun.

When Icarus flew too close to the sun, it was more than just the heat from the sun that caused his mighty fall; it was also the brilliance of his pride. As I contemplate my next ride up the Haleakala Highway and Crater Road which leads to the summit of Haleakala, I can’t help but wonder if the Road to the Sun together with my own pride won’t carry me too close to the sun as well.

It’s amazing how much of a climb is forgotten despite the fact that every meter is intimately experienced as we turn our pedals slowly up a grade; one gets the impression that each detail is forever burned into our memory. Riding parts of Haleakala in training, I am amazed at how inaccurate my memory of the climb is; sections I thought were short are many kilometers long; sections I thought were easy were in fact steep. Our memories are deeply distorted by our efforts and as such are not to be trusted.

This past Sunday, I did a reconnaissance ride from somewhere around 1,000′ to somewhere around 7,000′. As I rolled onto Crater Road to start the ascent along the shoulder to the crater itself, I was horrified to recognize how low the first switchback was where my body sent a palpable message to my brain to stop moving my legs during my January assault. It was at barely 3,700 feet – about a third of the way up the mountain. By 5,000 feet, I had completed the transition from suffering to death march. At 7,000 feet, with Gianni and my VMH becoming increasingly concerned I would climb in the car at any moment, the only thing keeping the pedals turning (albeit in squares) was the weight of my stubbornness.

The Trade Winds blow strongly on Maui in the summer, and the last thing I find myself craving is a headwind on the lower slopes, where the easier gradient is supposed to allow me to settle into a rhythm and ride into some sort of form. Based on weather reports, we have selected this Thursday, August 11 as the date for Frank vs. The Volcano, Part Deux. I have learned many lessons from both my previous effort and my reconnaissance. The only thing that remains to be done is to apply them, follow the plan, and pray to Merckx that I find good legs.

Last January, I rode the climb in four and a half hours. I hope to accomplish two things this time round: first, enjoy the climb a bit more (or at all) and second, improve on my time.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • How about: Do it in under 4 hours, or you will be banished to a barn in Kansas where the only thing to pedal is a Spin Cycle, with no music or other technology to take your mind off how bad it sucks. (No offense to folks with barns and Spin Cycles in Kansas)

  • For the antipodeans Cadelephant is making nice on Sky News right now. Airport media mugging going on.

  • Been lurking here for a few weeks now reading your nice site sir. I've enjoyed much of the tom foolery that takes place and have been trying to obey "the rules" paying particular attention to Rule #5.

    But of all the stories and reports here it was Frank vs. The Volcano part uno that I really enjoyed the most. I almost commented on that post to say outstanding fucking job!

    But I'm making my first comment here to wish you the best luck in bettering your time and kicking the volcano's ass this time around! And if you do do it under 4 hours this time I propose that we change Merckx to just Frank! No disrespect meant to the God of the Cog.

    Best of luck,
    fasthair

  • Best of luck to you frank. May your breathing be deep, your pedal strokes fluid and your suffering be minimal.
    Some other random noteworthy and perhaps inspiring events occuring on the same day in history (courtesy of Wiki)

    3114BC - The Mesoamerican Long Count Calendar begins
    355BC - Claudius Silvanus proclaims himself emperor against Constantine II
    1902 - Alfredo Binda was born - a worthy inspiration to you frank (and some further reverence?). The man trained Coppi and Bartali FFS!
    1929 - Babe Ruth became the first to hit 500 home runs
    1964 - Shinji Mikami - perhaps a reference to what awaits you on the volcano
    2011 - frank v volcano, part deux

  • Hey frank, it seems I've been reading this brilliant site for longer than I think. I remember reading about your first attack on this brute, which you say was in January! I've had to bite the bullet and register an account so I can share the hope of a sub 4 hour on this one. Good luck man.

  • @Cyclops @scaler911
    Or go sub-4 hours or be banished to Idaho?

    My advice: rip off the 39 ring. It's extra weight you won't even need. And I'm watching the video closely for those sticky bidons.

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