Categories: General

Haleakala, Rematch: Some People Just Don’t Learn

Some of the elevation markers display a V at the center of the sun.

When Icarus flew too close to the sun, it was more than just the heat from the sun that caused his mighty fall; it was also the brilliance of his pride. As I contemplate my next ride up the Haleakala Highway and Crater Road which leads to the summit of Haleakala, I can’t help but wonder if the Road to the Sun together with my own pride won’t carry me too close to the sun as well.

It’s amazing how much of a climb is forgotten despite the fact that every meter is intimately experienced as we turn our pedals slowly up a grade; one gets the impression that each detail is forever burned into our memory. Riding parts of Haleakala in training, I am amazed at how inaccurate my memory of the climb is; sections I thought were short are many kilometers long; sections I thought were easy were in fact steep. Our memories are deeply distorted by our efforts and as such are not to be trusted.

This past Sunday, I did a reconnaissance ride from somewhere around 1,000′ to somewhere around 7,000′. As I rolled onto Crater Road to start the ascent along the shoulder to the crater itself, I was horrified to recognize how low the first switchback was where my body sent a palpable message to my brain to stop moving my legs during my January assault. It was at barely 3,700 feet – about a third of the way up the mountain. By 5,000 feet, I had completed the transition from suffering to death march. At 7,000 feet, with Gianni and my VMH becoming increasingly concerned I would climb in the car at any moment, the only thing keeping the pedals turning (albeit in squares) was the weight of my stubbornness.

The Trade Winds blow strongly on Maui in the summer, and the last thing I find myself craving is a headwind on the lower slopes, where the easier gradient is supposed to allow me to settle into a rhythm and ride into some sort of form. Based on weather reports, we have selected this Thursday, August 11 as the date for Frank vs. The Volcano, Part Deux. I have learned many lessons from both my previous effort and my reconnaissance. The only thing that remains to be done is to apply them, follow the plan, and pray to Merckx that I find good legs.

Last January, I rode the climb in four and a half hours. I hope to accomplish two things this time round: first, enjoy the climb a bit more (or at all) and second, improve on my time.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • @mauibike

    I'll paint some more "V"'s on the road for you this afternoon. Just remember, if all else fails, BREATH.

    Was that you, mate? I had planned to bring you some stensils, but my tiny brain made me forget. Those BREATHE reminders along the road are awesome. Very, very strong work. Do you ride or motor up to do all that work?

  • @Oli
    @Frank

    I am honoured to amonst the company of such creative, nay, iconoclsatic contributors to the semiotics of cycling.
    Go Frank. I have little doubt that the thinner, faster, younger you is going to prevail over the leviathan.
    Either that or the Volcano is going to kick you in the nuts, but ah, erm...
    Go Frank!

  • Should I feel like a dirty sicko for wanting Frank to suffer? the type of relentless desperate suffering that you remember 12 months later with sweaty palms and a lump in your throat?
    (shuffles off muttering to ring the bells...)
    I gues the suffeirng part is a given. Good luck Fronk, enjoy the ride!

  • Being perpetually "two weeks away from climbing weight", I can only imagine the satisfaction you will feel when you summit that beast. Best of luck Frank. Can't wait to read the post ride post.

  • @frank

    @mauibike


    I'll paint some more "V"'s on the road for you this afternoon. Just remember, if all else fails, BREATH.

    Was that you, mate? I had planned to bring you some stensils, but my tiny brain made me forget. Those BREATHE reminders along the road are awesome. Very, very strong work. Do you ride or motor up to do all that work?

    @mauibike Even if you motor up, the only possible answer here is that you ride. Preferably on a unicycle.

  • I hope you suffer like a dog. Anything less than a spew on the roadside and I will be disappointed.

  • I hope you take your Garmin Frank ;-)

    Seriously... great to read a report and see the video but I'd quite like to see it on screen. As you say, the mind forgets but there's no arguing with your VAM.

    And we can see if you become the first person in history to rate Epic on the Strava Suffer score.

  • volcano with a small v - show that volcano what proper V is - and don't forget to chin one or two of the spectators on the way up, now the bar has been raised

    3 hrs 59 mins and 615 secs is still under 4 hours in my book...

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