Categories: General

Haleakala, Rematch: Some People Just Don’t Learn

Some of the elevation markers display a V at the center of the sun.

When Icarus flew too close to the sun, it was more than just the heat from the sun that caused his mighty fall; it was also the brilliance of his pride. As I contemplate my next ride up the Haleakala Highway and Crater Road which leads to the summit of Haleakala, I can’t help but wonder if the Road to the Sun together with my own pride won’t carry me too close to the sun as well.

It’s amazing how much of a climb is forgotten despite the fact that every meter is intimately experienced as we turn our pedals slowly up a grade; one gets the impression that each detail is forever burned into our memory. Riding parts of Haleakala in training, I am amazed at how inaccurate my memory of the climb is; sections I thought were short are many kilometers long; sections I thought were easy were in fact steep. Our memories are deeply distorted by our efforts and as such are not to be trusted.

This past Sunday, I did a reconnaissance ride from somewhere around 1,000′ to somewhere around 7,000′. As I rolled onto Crater Road to start the ascent along the shoulder to the crater itself, I was horrified to recognize how low the first switchback was where my body sent a palpable message to my brain to stop moving my legs during my January assault. It was at barely 3,700 feet – about a third of the way up the mountain. By 5,000 feet, I had completed the transition from suffering to death march. At 7,000 feet, with Gianni and my VMH becoming increasingly concerned I would climb in the car at any moment, the only thing keeping the pedals turning (albeit in squares) was the weight of my stubbornness.

The Trade Winds blow strongly on Maui in the summer, and the last thing I find myself craving is a headwind on the lower slopes, where the easier gradient is supposed to allow me to settle into a rhythm and ride into some sort of form. Based on weather reports, we have selected this Thursday, August 11 as the date for Frank vs. The Volcano, Part Deux. I have learned many lessons from both my previous effort and my reconnaissance. The only thing that remains to be done is to apply them, follow the plan, and pray to Merckx that I find good legs.

Last January, I rode the climb in four and a half hours. I hope to accomplish two things this time round: first, enjoy the climb a bit more (or at all) and second, improve on my time.

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

View Comments

  • Don't worry about a map - you wil get hopelessly lost with or without one. Mur du Grammont (geraardsbergen) /kapelmuur is another classic. But there are gazillions and they are everywhere/ nowhere.

    If u r a sprinter then surely the kemmelburg must be ridden over more than once followed by a sprint into Wevelgem. Wear shoe covers to channel your inner Hincapie.

    Just make sure you are adept at clicking out whilst at a standstill on a wet 18% climb. It may be a technique that comes in handy.

    Late October? Bring your wellingtons to wevelgem!

  • @Marcus

    Don't worry about a map - you wil get hopelessly lost with or without one. Mur du Grammont (geraardsbergen) /kapelmuur is another classic. But there are gazillions and they are everywhere/ nowhere.

    Just make sure you are adept at clicking out whilst at a standstill on a wet 18% climb. It may be a technique that comes in handy

    perfect, this is just the sort of advice I need - I can head off into the yonder with a free spirit of adventure now, free from the anxiety that there might be a better way of doing it!

  • @ChrisO

    I hope you take your Garmin Frank ;-)
    Seriously... great to read a report and see the video but I'd quite like to see it on screen. As you say, the mind forgets but there's no arguing with your VAM.
    And we can see if you become the first person in history to rate Epic on the Strava Suffer score.

    It's all about the ride and the experience. The fact that it's maleable is what keeps us coming back.

  • @Dr C

    @Marcus

    Don't worry about a map - you wil get hopelessly lost with or without one. Mur du Grammont (geraardsbergen) /kapelmuur is another classic. But there are gazillions and they are everywhere/ nowhere.
    Just make sure you are adept at clicking out whilst at a standstill on a wet 18% climb. It may be a technique that comes in handy

    perfect, this is just the sort of advice I need - I can head off into the yonder with a free spirit of adventure now, free from the anxiety that there might be a better way of doing it!

    Indeed, the best rides will be the ones where you're lost. EPIC. Anything on the Leige Route back from Bastogne will be great; in fact, just follow the race route. (There is also a cyclosportive that does it and they paint arrows on the road that should still be there, if you're feeling like rolling the dice and can't find a route.)

    Sounds like a great trip!

  • Post-ride update:

    I'm sitting here in the sun porch of Giann's pad on Maui. The guns are aching, the lungs are still burning. Quite frankly, I feel too tired too eat, even though I'm cramming in the occasional chip with mango salsa. I'm working on my second Stella. (Too hot and too tired for a proper ale - don't worry - I'm not drinking it from a V-Pint for fear that it would cleft in two.)

    The VMH did a fantastic job as solo DS on account of Gianni's insistence on being on vacation during my effort. Video was shot, photos were taken.

    Optimism reigns free like a turkey in the night on the Haleakala Highway.

    Riding through the clouds near 8,000 feet. The cramping and lowest-gear suffering from January are a distant memory, though suffering still abounds.

    Finishing gear.

    The A-Merckx sign is delivered alongside the time like a proud father.

    And, without further ado...the time.

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