Haleakala, Rematch: Some People Just Don’t Learn
When Icarus flew too close to the sun, it was more than just the heat from the sun that caused his mighty fall; it was also the brilliance of his pride. As I contemplate my next ride up the Haleakala Highway and Crater Road which leads to the summit of Haleakala, I can’t help but wonder if the Road to the Sun together with my own pride won’t carry me too close to the sun as well.
It’s amazing how much of a climb is forgotten despite the fact that every meter is intimately experienced as we turn our pedals slowly up a grade; one gets the impression that each detail is forever burned into our memory. Riding parts of Haleakala in training, I am amazed at how inaccurate my memory of the climb is; sections I thought were short are many kilometers long; sections I thought were easy were in fact steep. Our memories are deeply distorted by our efforts and as such are not to be trusted.
This past Sunday, I did a reconnaissance ride from somewhere around 1,000′ to somewhere around 7,000′. As I rolled onto Crater Road to start the ascent along the shoulder to the crater itself, I was horrified to recognize how low the first switchback was where my body sent a palpable message to my brain to stop moving my legs during my January assault. It was at barely 3,700 feet – about a third of the way up the mountain. By 5,000 feet, I had completed the transition from suffering to death march. At 7,000 feet, with Gianni and my VMH becoming increasingly concerned I would climb in the car at any moment, the only thing keeping the pedals turning (albeit in squares) was the weight of my stubbornness.
The Trade Winds blow strongly on Maui in the summer, and the last thing I find myself craving is a headwind on the lower slopes, where the easier gradient is supposed to allow me to settle into a rhythm and ride into some sort of form. Based on weather reports, we have selected this Thursday, August 11 as the date for Frank vs. The Volcano, Part Deux. I have learned many lessons from both my previous effort and my reconnaissance. The only thing that remains to be done is to apply them, follow the plan, and pray to Merckx that I find good legs.
Last January, I rode the climb in four and a half hours. I hope to accomplish two things this time round: first, enjoy the climb a bit more (or at all) and second, improve on my time.
@mauibike
That’s just fucking brilliant…I’m so keen to get a chance to ride up a climb with road markings some time!
This is keeping me going at the moment cos I’ve been off the bike for a week & a half with a dodgy back & neck and I’m getting crazy keen to get out for a ride. Physio guided bike fit is upcoming & I’m hoping to get back to a set up that doesn’t kill me.
@mauibike
+2
whilst we are waiting for the Air Ambulance to bring Fronk back to sea level, can anyone give me a little advice –
advanced planning stages for 4 day jolly to Belgium in late October (rule 9) – hiring large car at Brussels airport, bikes in the back, drive near Ghent/ Bastogne/ Huy or similar, stay 2 nights in 2 towns and do 125K each day in circuit from each base hotel
Any suggestions for where I should ride? Or where I might get a route/ route maps apart from the Classics route maps from 2011 websites? – can find precious little online in English apart from Cyclotourist stuff for the Panierriazzi
…or just head out and don’t come back til fucked?
@Dr C
No specific advice, but let me know what you decide. I’ll be in Munich the week before LBL in April, and was planning something similar””le Col de Stockeu was high on my list, for name only…
Good luck Frank! Sur la Placque indeed!
Holy cow, Jeff, that is NICE work! I want that framed over my bed!
The day is here, huh? Make it happen, Frank!!
Just watching a replay of P-R 2010. Man, Tom chose a bad time to get caught at the back of the group and have a feed. I love the Belgian announcer, “Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom Tom.” Funny that I can’t understand much of what the guy says but I’ve heard him call so many races that I know his voice quite well.
I think the next time I’m asked to list hobbies/pastimes I’m going to have to write: watching a cycling video on youtube, then clicking the related videos and watching those for an hour, or two.
@Ron
a healthy addiction to youtube is an essential part of any cyclist’s working day – feel no guilt
@Steampunk
thankd SP, so my list is growing, slowly
1. Mur de Huy
2. Roubaix velodrome
3. Ardennes pave
4. Ghent generally
5. Col de Stockeau
….anywhere else?
@Dr C
….and of course
6. the Koppenberg (too look at, as probably couldn’t get up it anyway)
7. apparently the cyclocross in Belgium is a hoot
8. Grimbergen Abbey for the Double Ale
@Dr C
…or just head out and don’t come back til fucked?
It seems to me that if we are to be guided by what our bike and body tell us and eschew computers that do much more than tell us our speed or to lay down some more V, we should probably take the same approach to route planning. Set out with a general idea of the direction you’re going to go but seek the V-locus and Merckx will guide you.
Sounds live a good trip!
@Steampunk
Awesome.
Good luck frank.
Don’t worry about a map – you wil get hopelessly lost with or without one. Mur du Grammont (geraardsbergen) /kapelmuur is another classic. But there are gazillions and they are everywhere/ nowhere.
If u r a sprinter then surely the kemmelburg must be ridden over more than once followed by a sprint into Wevelgem. Wear shoe covers to channel your inner Hincapie.
Just make sure you are adept at clicking out whilst at a standstill on a wet 18% climb. It may be a technique that comes in handy.
Late October? Bring your wellingtons to wevelgem!
frank…just think 53×11 and rule V
Merckx dammit Frank, we want live updates!
@Marcus
perfect, this is just the sort of advice I need – I can head off into the yonder with a free spirit of adventure now, free from the anxiety that there might be a better way of doing it!
@ChrisO
It’s all about the ride and the experience. The fact that it’s maleable is what keeps us coming back.
@Dr C
Indeed, the best rides will be the ones where you’re lost. EPIC. Anything on the Leige Route back from Bastogne will be great; in fact, just follow the race route. (There is also a cyclosportive that does it and they paint arrows on the road that should still be there, if you’re feeling like rolling the dice and can’t find a route.)
Sounds like a great trip!
Post-ride update:
I’m sitting here in the sun porch of Giann’s pad on Maui. The guns are aching, the lungs are still burning. Quite frankly, I feel too tired too eat, even though I’m cramming in the occasional chip with mango salsa. I’m working on my second Stella. (Too hot and too tired for a proper ale – don’t worry – I’m not drinking it from a V-Pint for fear that it would cleft in two.)
The VMH did a fantastic job as solo DS on account of Gianni’s insistence on being on vacation during my effort. Video was shot, photos were taken.
Optimism reigns free like a turkey in the night on the Haleakala Highway.
Riding through the clouds near 8,000 feet. The cramping and lowest-gear suffering from January are a distant memory, though suffering still abounds.
Finishing gear.
The A-Merckx sign is delivered alongside the time like a proud father.
And, without further ado…the time.
@frank
your a beast! awesome job.
You da Merckx, Frank!
Great stuff!
I guess that means you can come home. Nice job! Way to lay down the V!!!
I can’t imagine climbing for 4 hours.
Splendid
Awesome, way to own it Frank!
So – you’re gonna try and beat that time tomorrow, yes?
@Oli Brooke-White
It’s only thanks to this technique I developed to measure how long someone takes to get up a hill. I call it “timing”.
Well done Frank!
Attached is a photo of Cadel and several thousands of his friends celebrating your de-pantsing of the Volcano.
Way to go, Frank. Top effort, and you’ve made us proud in nearly every respect. (The exclusions, being, of course, the Stella and those God-awful geriatric-hospital shower-shoes on your feet at the top).
@frank
And his 23t cog is clean as a whistle!
Fabulous. It doesn’t seem to have registered, but I predicted roughly 3:53.17 last night. Terrific work””and congratulations.
Getting this brief report and pictures, I feel strangely inadequate””but mostly not very tall.
@frank
Haha! That’s what I like to refer to as “funny”.
Frank Frank Frank! A-fuckin-Merckx! Spot on, mate!
Guess this means I don’t stand a snowballs chance in Roubaix up against you on Mt. Baker next month. Crap; I am so screwed.
Dude, you’re gonna need to change the title cos it’s obvious you learned some from last time. 1/2 an hour off the old mark is pretty fucking impressive!!!
@frank
Nice effort Fronk.
Please let us know what proportion you believe the cause of your improvement was between:
i) pacing better, training better and being fitter given its now your summer; and
ii) not riding like a little bitch this time?
@Marcus
Bahahahahahahaha
Congrats Frank. You blew my estimate out of the water. Obviously got stuck in to the beans the night before for some Jet Propulsion on the uphill.
@Fronk
Outrageous effort, chapeau
Might be an idea to get of that volcano now you’ve made a twat of it
Ditto the comment about the footwear, what were you thinking??? That said, those are some serious horny looking seat stays
No Shit!!!!
Great job, Frank. I’ll use your time and effort as the benchmark for my own climb up Haleakala in December or January. I’ve got some training to do…
@frank
awesome taming of nature!
those ridiculous shoes would suggest that you didn’t ride down. please tell me that’s not true!
@frahnk, not only have you peaked, you climb well for your weight. anyhow what kind of cowboy outfit are you running here? why have I been demoted from a cat 3 to cat 4? what’s the big idea?
@zalamanda
sorry to piss on your parade, but Rule V comes to mind…..
@zalamanda
Change of e-mail perhaps?
Wow, Fronk!!!! Well done, mate! Under 4. Merckx, that’s good. You look pretty fresh in the post ride photo. I’m thinking you’ve got it in you to drop the time again when you next attempt it. And with regard to the Adidas Adilettes, G’phant hasn’t a clue. That’s PRO. I’ve worn Adilettes nearly everyday since 1983: pre- and post-race/ride slide that can’t be beat. Instead of a mirror, maybe Brett can sell him some proper Adilettes.
Chapeau yo! Nothing better than the burn, the effort, the satisfaction of finishing better than you expect. Gotta do that climb next time I’m in Maui.
@Dr C
And you, too? Adilettes are the bees knees. Merckx, I’m afraid to ask what you do wear pre/post ride. ‘Cause I know you aren’t violating Rule #69, right?
@Jeff in PetroMetro
‘Adilettes’?!!! Sounds like some faux-50’s girl band singing back-up to an Elvis impersonator on Saturday nights at the A & W Root Beer Drive In. For Eddy’s sake, chaps, get a grip.
Damn, talk about climbing well for your weight. Great job!
@Jeff in PetroMetro
generally at the end of a race I like to slip into these
or if I’m in a bad mood and feel hard done by, these
@Dr C
loving the carbon fibre heels. can you bolt cleats onto those?
@Chris
bitches aren’t they
@Dr C
I’m not sure, I think I’m having second thoughts. The toe is a bit, er, utilitarian.
And I suspect that the whole flashing light thing is perilously close to having reflectors on your pedals.
Can I have some in essex white with a pointy toe and a ratchet tensioner?