In Memoriam: Olympic Tandem Match Sprint

The tandem bike throw.

The Olympic track racing fires off tomorrow and it’s time to remember an event discarded to the bin of noble sports.

The Olympic roster of events is constantly evolving and devolving which is why we are now watching synchronized diving as an Olympic sport. What a world, what a world. Maybe it’s a sign of me getting too old but it makes me sick. Who does this sport? Who says let’s go down to the public pool and work on our synchronized diving? No one, that’s who. Did the IOC get bribed by Big Diving? Diving is barely watchable, adding another diver who does the exact same thing adds little. Yes, I’m biased, yes, I don’t understand it. Send your hate mail to Condoleezza Rice, c/o Stanford University, I don’t want it.

Years ago Olympic road cycling cancelled the 100km four-man team time trial and I’m still bitter about that! The four-man TT was a killer event. The time was on the third rider to cross the finish line. A four person team could barely afford to lose one rider. One flat, a bonk, do we wait, do we go? This had to be decided on the road by the team while riding on the razor’s edge of anaerobic doom.

Olympic track lost the tandem match sprint. Track is also losing the individual pursuit events this year for reasons I can’t imagine. Thank you, UCI. The tandem sprint was no flash in the pan event, introduced into the Olympics in 1908. It was finally terminated after the 1972 games. God damn it, what’s not to love? We keep thinking Cav is the fastest cyclist but track sprinters are faster. Imagine two super fast riders on one bike racing another matched pair. One pair of legs does the driving, one pair just to stoke. The stoker could also be the second pair of eyes for the driver but really his mission was to plant his face against the small of the driver’s back and spin that bike up to over 85 kph! The tactics were the same as the regular match sprint. There were track stands, jumps and bumps: it was just faster and more awesome.

I don’t know the reasoning behind the decision in 1972 but I’m here to say things were a little weird back then, many bad decisions went down in the early ’70s. The Bee Gees made it to number sixteen in the American music charts and they were not terminated with extreme prejudice right then, before it was too late.

Here is some footage of a past World Championship just to demonstrate the awesome.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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Oli says:

Aug 2 2012 at 12:23 am

@G'phant Zzzzzz...mmpph-cough-splutter...hmmm, wazzat?

Nice article, Gianni! I was just regaling some disbelieving good folk on Friday eve past with tales of Trentin and Morelon, et al. and their feats of tandemic derring-do...
the Engine says:

Aug 2 2012 at 12:24 am

@frank

@the Engine

Karate (much to my regret) isn't an Olympic discipline although Tai Kwon Don't is. There's a galaxy of marshal arts I'd let in before (fucking) golf - including Ecky Thump. That said some marshal arts do have a regrettable tendency to behave like triathlon and disappear up their own fundaments.

You mean like the Scottish Marshall Art of Fook'Yu. Which consists mostly of headbutting, and kicking people when they're on the ground? (Thank you Mike Meyers.)

Thanks to cycling I'm no longer fat enough to practice Fook'Yu
the Engine says:

Aug 2 2012 at 12:27 am

@scaler911

@eightzero

@the Engine

@eightzero

Gotta say I am really unsettled about these olympics. I participate in two olympic sports (fencing and cycling) (and Mrs./Dr. eightzero in 3, as she adds in Karate.) Participating in an Olympic sport is always advantageous, in that this "status" has direct, tangible, and personal benefits that result. Parents are more receptive to the investment of time, effort and money if they think the activity is widely recognized, and the 5-rings are something of a trademark for that. This means more participation, more investment, more coaches, more venues, more equipment selection, better competition...it's good for everyone.

That said, the Olympics at times leaves me a bit cold. The spectacle seem at times wholly about money for the rich and powerful, as well as about other non-sporting concerns. Reflect upon the lure of doping, and the win at any cost attitudes of people willing to risk everything...and other peoples' efforts...over trivial matters is unsettlling. People do give over their lives to what is really entertainment, and there is a tragedy in that.

There should be a joy to sport. It touches on our humanity in unique ways. It is emotional. Having that reduced to money terms makes me feel...dirty.

Karate (much to my regret) isn't an Olympic discipline although Tai Kwon Don't is. There's a galaxy of marshal arts I'd let in before (fucking) golf - including Ecky Thump. That said some marshal arts do have a regrettable tendency to behave like triathlon and disappear up their own fundaments.

Where's the joy in (fucking) golf?

Worse, (fucking) golf isn't even a competiton between individuals. It is between you and the course. Now fairly, this can be said about time trials too, but ... what you said. The thing about (fucking) golf that always cracked me up was how much the PGA hated John Daly. He was a out of shape, pot bellied, loudmouth wife beating, drug addicted, annoying fuck...that could hit the ball further than anyone else in the game. And people don't give a shit about score, they want to beat the shit out of the (fucking) golf ball. He actually showed up on the first tee for a big (fucking) golf tournament with a cigarette and beer in hand. Even though he was a fucking disgrace, he had huge crowds. And made huge money independent of the control of the PGA.

Fuck golf.

And yes, Mrs/Dr Eightzero participates in a "martial art" and those in general, not specifically, are Olympic sports. I ride a bike, but don't race. Except when there is somone in front of me. Or a running clock on my bars.

Fuck golf. When I'm too old to ride (never unless I keep crashing like last night) I'll take up a proper retiree sport like fly fishing.

I didn't know they were adding golf. Burns me as bad as when they 'trialled' 2 different sports at Albertville. Curling and Speed Skiing. My boy Jeffery Hamilton brought home the bronze hitting 226Kph. The OIC decided that dudes going over 200K downhill wasn't as exciting as watching a rock and a broom slide across ice. I'm sure I'll stir up some trouble especially from our Canadians neighbors, but fuck curling too.

Multiple apologies - we Scots "invented" (fucking) golf and curling and have much to answer for.

On the other paw O'Bree is Scottish and interesting.
the Engine says:

Aug 2 2012 at 12:30 am

@minion

@Marcus

Oh and by the way, on my personal measurement of the greatest Olympians which is a function of:

-the poularity/level of participation in the sport across the globe,

- the athlete's longevity over multiple Olympiad, and

- finally the number of gold and other medals won,

- Carl Lewis is the greatest Olympian by far. The fact that he probably took more HGH than any cyclist in history is not worth mentioning.

Dear Merxck almighty. Have you finished fellating the Olympic movement yet? The ABC had to trot out an economist this morning to defend Australia's performance at the games (and justify their spending), in terms of those two reliable causal factors, GDP and medals per person. For fucks sake. Wiggo's added another gold medal to his haul, and you're all fucking whinging about golf and swimming.

I always whinge about golf - it's one of my defining traits
the Engine says:

Aug 2 2012 at 12:39 am

@minion

elmo was from a different time. Now I'm an angry minion who likes calling the lot of you wanker c#*ts.

There must be a chutzpah point in there for daring to use Pippi Longstocking's image on here.
girl says:

Aug 2 2012 at 12:44 am

@mouse

On a random and only partially related tangent;

Maybe it's just me, but I'm already sick of trying to watch the Olympics here in Aus. I say 'trying' beacuse I just can't seem to get past the sheer amount of advertisements and logo placement as well as the inane blather by ex-footballer commentators who are ignorant about most things in life, let alone sport other than their own.

I get that broadcast rights are very expensive, but I can't help but feel that the Olympic ideal has been completely fucked over by these c*nts. I get the sense that the Olympics are secondary to the marketing opportunity of the sponsors and by what's going to be on channel 9 after the Olympics. "Who gives a shit about all of these funny sports anyways, eh Eddie?"

Agreed. This year's coverage does bring it to a new low. The chopping and changing from event to event is infuriating.
Mikael Liddy says:

Aug 2 2012 at 12:46 am

Fuck it, couldn't find the original post from earlier this year so I'll just recap...

Back in summer I was getting near the top of one the local climbs here that has a restaurant & lookout at the top and as I started up the final stretch to the lookout I got overtaken by this big coach of tourists. Roll out on the lookout 30 seconds later & am getting going on a banana when this older lady comes over congratulating me on being out riding in the heat & getting up the hill.

She then tells a story about how her dad represented Holland in the Olympics back in the day & had won gold at the 1928 & Silver at the 1936 games. Went on to say how she always loved cycling but there were no races back then for girls so she took up swimming & with her cycling legs absolutely smoked everyone else. Apparently her two daughter also loved riding despite becoming pro swimmers.

Cue some WIki searching when I got to the office later that day & best I could make out Dad was Bernard Leene & I'd been talking to his daughter Antoinette. Here's a shot of Bernie from 1928 proving once and for all that winners really are grinners.
GoJad says:

Aug 2 2012 at 1:00 am

@Marcus

Re Former Australian Prime Minister Harold Holt. He did not drown in the surf at Portsea back beach. He defected to China and was picked up in a submarine. Everyone knows this.
Oli says:

Aug 2 2012 at 1:11 am

@minion Twice Madison World Champion, IIRC. Once with Wiggo.
ralasdair says:

Aug 2 2012 at 1:54 am

Is it not still an event in the Paralympics? I know I've seen 'blind track cycling' where the stoker is blind and the guy on the front can see...