Categories: GeneralIn Memoriam

In Memoriam: Olympic Tandem Match Sprint

The tandem bike throw.

The Olympic track racing fires off tomorrow and it’s time to remember an event discarded to the bin of noble sports.

The Olympic roster of events is constantly evolving and devolving which is why we are now watching synchronized diving as an Olympic sport. What a world, what a world. Maybe it’s a sign of me getting too old but it makes me sick. Who does this sport? Who says let’s go down to the public pool and work on our synchronized diving? No one, that’s who. Did the IOC get bribed by Big Diving? Diving is barely watchable, adding another diver who does the exact same thing adds little. Yes, I’m biased, yes, I don’t understand it. Send your hate mail to Condoleezza Rice, c/o Stanford University, I don’t want it.

Years ago Olympic road cycling cancelled the 100km four-man team time trial and I’m still bitter about that! The four-man TT was a killer event. The time was on the third rider to cross the finish line. A four person team could barely afford to lose one rider. One flat, a bonk, do we wait, do we go? This had to be decided on the road by the team while riding on the razor’s edge of anaerobic doom.

Olympic track lost the tandem match sprint. Track is also losing the individual pursuit events this year for reasons I can’t imagine. Thank you, UCI. The tandem sprint was no flash in the pan event, introduced into the Olympics in 1908. It was finally terminated after the 1972 games. God damn it, what’s not to love? We keep thinking Cav is the fastest cyclist but track sprinters are faster. Imagine two super fast riders on one bike racing another matched pair. One pair of legs does the driving, one pair just to stoke. The stoker could also be the second pair of eyes for the driver but really his mission was to plant his face against the small of the driver’s back and spin that bike up to over 85 kph! The tactics were the same as the regular match sprint. There were track stands, jumps and bumps: it was just faster and more awesome.

I don’t know the reasoning behind the decision in 1972 but I’m here to say things were a little weird back then, many bad decisions went down in the early ’70s. The Bee Gees made it to number sixteen in the American music charts and they were not terminated with extreme prejudice right then, before it was too late.

Here is some footage of a past World Championship just to demonstrate the awesome.

Gianni

Gianni has left the building.

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  • @RedRanger

    @Marcus

    And as for whoever was bagging John Daly, when he could play (and he really could), his real strength was a sublime short game. His driving was long, but the chipping/putting was what won him majors.

    Drive for show, putt for dough.

    edit. thanks for the call out.

  • @scaler911

    Fuck golf. When I'm too old to ride (never unless I keep crashing like last night) I'll take up a proper retiree sport like fly fishing.

    I see you're in Vancouver, which is enviably close to The Deschutes.  Since I moved up to the Olympic Peninsula from Portland, I've found it worthwhile to drive the extra four hours to cast dry flies on that river.  Nothing like it anywhere else in the NW that I'm aware of.  Except for...well...I shouldn't blather on in public...and you're closer to that river, too...

  • @Marcus

    Oh and by the way, on my personal measurement of the greatest Olympians which is a function of:

    -the poularity/level of participation in the sport across the globe,

    - the athlete's longevity over multiple Olympiad, and

    - finally the number of gold and other medals won,

    - Carl Lewis is the greatest Olympian by far. The fact that he probably took more HGH than any cyclist in history is not worth mentioning.

    Dear Merxck almighty. Have you finished fellating the Olympic movement yet? The ABC had to trot out an economist this morning to defend Australia's performance at the games (and justify their spending), in terms of those two reliable causal factors, GDP and medals per person. For fucks sake. Wiggo's added another gold medal to his haul, and you're all fucking whinging about golf and swimming.

  • @Marcus

    OK, Mr Reasonable. I get it. Part of the problem is the unbelievably idiotic nationalistic TV coverage we are slave to in the USA. That miscreant Michael Phelps is built up and up and up and all we see on the TV are endless heats for swimming because the USA had success four years ago. Swimming and women's gymnastics, you would have thought that's all the games are here.

    What about those Sydney Swans? I hear they are quite impressive.

  • @minion - why did the Kiwis boycott the Olympics this year?

    @Gianni - Australia's coverage is just as unbelievably and idiotically nationalistic - but less successful. At least you guys are going well (getting the 100 free was a biggie) - we are swimming like Englishmen and don't have track and field to fall back on. If we don't go well on the boards starting tonight there will be trouble. Although our talent identification system is something amazing. We have a chick, Kim Crow, who is competing in two separate sculling events and is a chance to win both - this is pretty much unheard of. How did out esteemed sports scientists find her? Story goes she was a 400m hurdler who was injured. Somebody told her to use the rowing machine in the gym for some rehab. She immediately pulled out numbers better than anyone at the Victorian Institute of Sport. So someone suggested she try rowing.

    And anyway, as long as you get to look at Natalie Coughlin in the pool, I would say US TV is pretty good.

    Sydney Swans are on top of the ladder. Its the Sydney Drop Bears who are doing no good.

  • @Marcus

    @minion - why did the Kiwis boycott the Olympics this year?

    @Gianni - Australia's coverage is just as unbelievably and idiotically nationalistic - but less successful. At least you guys are going well (getting the 100 free was a biggie) - we are swimming like Englishmen and don't have track and field to fall back on. If we don't go well on the boards starting tonight there will be trouble. Although our talent identification system is something amazing. We have a chick, Kim Crow, who is competing in two separate sculling events and is a chance to win both - this is pretty much unheard of. How did out esteemed sports scientists find her? Story goes she was a 400m hurdler who was injured. Somebody told her to use the rowing machine in the gym for some rehab. She immediately pulled out numbers better than anyone at the Victorian Institute of Sport. So someone suggested she try rowing.

    And anyway, as long as you get to look at Natalie Coughlin in the pool, I would say US TV is pretty good.

    Sydney Swans are on top of the ladder. Its the Sydney Drop Bears who are doing no good.

     

    Word. 

     

  • @Gianni

    @Marcus

    OK, Mr Reasonable. I get it. Part of the problem is the unbelievably idiotic nationalistic TV coverage we are slave to in the USA. That miscreant Michael Phelps is built up and up and up and all we see on the TV are endless heats for swimming because the USA had success four years ago. Swimming and women's gymnastics, you would have thought that's all the games are here.

    What about those Sydney Swans? I hear they are quite impressive.

    So other than Natalie Coughlin adding to our broadcast. This post is the truth. We get crap on broadcast. The only thing that pleased me with the US broadcast was the amount of the cycling road race we got on Saturday morning. A really pleasant surprise.

  • @frank

    This has to be a joke, right?

    I have seen a "push me, pull you" tandem on an organized ride.  Dumbest idea ever.

  • @graham d.m.

    @Gianni

    @Marcus

    OK, Mr Reasonable. I get it. Part of the problem is the unbelievably idiotic nationalistic TV coverage we are slave to in the USA. That miscreant Michael Phelps is built up and up and up and all we see on the TV are endless heats for swimming because the USA had success four years ago. Swimming and women's gymnastics, you would have thought that's all the games are here.

    What about those Sydney Swans? I hear they are quite impressive.

    So other than Natalie Coughlin adding to our broadcast. This post is the truth. We get crap on broadcast. The only thing that pleased me with the US broadcast was the amount of the cycling road race we got on Saturday morning. A really pleasant surprise.

    Nipple lube.

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