Categories: General

La Femme Ã Pois

“Becky? Yeah, its Jean-Paul with the Podium Girl Selection Committee. No, I don’t know how I landed this job either, and I’m not about to ask any questions because its a pretty cool job. I’m calling you about the auditions you attended for La Grande Boucle that’s coming up.

“Yes, the good news is you got the job. The bad news is you’ll be presenting the maillot Ã¡ pois.”

[dmalbum path=”/velominati.com/content/Photo Galleries/frank@velominati.com/Maillot a Pois/”/]

frank

The founder of Velominati and curator of The Rules, Frank was born in the Dutch colonies of Minnesota. His boundless physical talents are carefully canceled out by his equally boundless enthusiasm for drinking. Coffee, beer, wine, if it’s in a container, he will enjoy it, a lot of it. He currently lives in Seattle. He loves riding in the rain and scheduling visits with the Man with the Hammer just to be reminded of the privilege it is to feel completely depleted. He holds down a technology job the description of which no-one really understands and his interests outside of Cycling and drinking are Cycling and drinking. As devoted aesthete, the only thing more important to him than riding a bike well is looking good doing it. Frank is co-author along with the other Keepers of the Cog of the popular book, The Rules, The Way of the Cycling Disciple and also writes a monthly column for the magazine, Cyclist. He is also currently working on the first follow-up to The Rules, tentatively entitled The Hardmen. Email him directly at rouleur@velominati.com.

Next The Works: The Official Treasures Of Le Tour de France »

Previous « La Bicyclette, Part II: Scars

View Comments

mrhallorann says:

Jul 8 2012 at 3:28 pm

Hehehe Frank's cute when he's angry!
frank says:

Jul 8 2012 at 3:30 pm

@silkrider

Nicely put; I'm glad you like our cursing - you'd love Keepers Tour. Personally, I've been involved in sports trash-talking for longer than I can remember, so it just feels like normal to me. That said, seeing Wiggo use that language at a press conference surprised me and took me aback. There are stages for freely spoken curses and there are stages for restraint.

With Velominati, we do our best to limit our cursing in the articles, but don't partake in any censoring of ourselves or others in the posts - it seems a good balance. I'm not sure calling the Twitterati "cunts" was really appropriate, but I do find it refreshing to see someone say those things publicly.

The advice imparted on my long ago does always sit in the back of my mind:

Profanity is the weak mind's attempt to express itself forcefully.

We are all profoundly weak-minded, it would seem. No problem with that as far as I'm concerned. I'm weak, my body is weak, my mind is weak. Best to be honest with ourselves.
frank says:

Jul 8 2012 at 3:33 pm

@Oli

@frank It was at least twelve minutes...

Was it? Could be. I didn't finish the beer I was having in the interlude, so that makes the case for the 10-15 minute window, or there abouts.

@DerHoggz

@Oli

Are we talking Camogate?

Yes, which was both funnier and more frustrating - in equal measure - than Candlegate, which resulted in no self-bannings, though I should have banned @Steamy for being too witty.

@mrhallorann

Hehehe Frank's cute when he's angry!

I showed up to a ride with Keeper Jim last week and his wife asserted that we "looked cute in our outfits". Very humiliating. In our estimation, we looked tough and cool.
versio says:

Jul 8 2012 at 3:35 pm

@mrhallorann

Hehehe Frank's cute when he's angry!

There's usually a prick-fuck-dumbass-shit to get him started too. Not cute.
silkrider says:

Jul 8 2012 at 4:24 pm

@frank

@silkrider

Nicely put; I'm glad you like our cursing - you'd love Keepers Tour. Personally, I've been involved in sports trash-talking for longer than I can remember, so it just feels like normal to me. That said, seeing Wiggo use that language at a press conference surprised me and took me aback. There are stages for freely spoken curses and there are stages for restraint.

With Velominati, we do our best to limit our cursing in the articles, but don't partake in any censoring of ourselves or others in the posts - it seems a good balance. I'm not sure calling the Twitterati "cunts" was really appropriate, but I do find it refreshing to see someone say those things publicly.

The advice imparted on my long ago does always sit in the back of my mind:

Profanity is the weak mind's attempt to express itself forcefully.

We are all profoundly weak-minded, it would seem. No problem with that as far as I'm concerned. I'm weak, my body is weak, my mind is weak. Best to be honest with ourselves.

i always say..."profanity is a crutch for illiterate and ignorant motherfuckers." but that's just me.
Oli says:

Jul 8 2012 at 7:22 pm

@silkrider There's no fucking excuse for profanity.
Bianchi Denti says:

Jul 9 2012 at 4:45 pm

Let's hope this works.
brett says:

Jul 9 2012 at 6:30 pm

@Bianchi Denti

I guess that's the Polka Choc jersey...